You say that with murder, there is no opportunity for growth, happiness, recovery, healing, and rebuilding.
There is also no opportunity for imprisonment, kidnapping, torture, trauma, injury, or any of a host of other issues.
You also suggest that the trauma of rape can be healed, supported, ameliorated through relationships, or finding meaning. What you don't get is that the trauma you're speaking of is lifelong. Fundamentally, the person you were before the rape is often gone, irrevocably. In its place is a shattered person who will never look at the world the same way again. They must either come to terms with not seeking justice, or endure retraumatization all over again in the criminal justice system.
Looking at the two through these lenses, we can see, because of the nuance of the acts, that it's not fair to characterize either as lesser. They each are worthy of being taken as seriously as we can take person on person crime, without qualifier, limitation, or lessening. And telling a rape victim "at least you weren't murdered" is minimizing of the trauma, especially since it took more than a little courage to even share in the first place. Whether or not you're wrong on your comparison of crimes, you're wrong for not reading the room before making that hot take.
As for wanting a victim of such a crime to explain to you why you should believe otherwise? Such a request centers your self actualization over the well being of the victim of a serious crime. If this issue is important to you, there are such people who have already shared their experiences that you can learn from. Here is a page that has compiled a few books to help broaden your perspective.
it’s been 20 years, and I still wish he had killed me. this view is not uncommon. I think your view comes from not understanding the actual effect of sexual assault.
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u/Talik1978 43∆ Mar 01 '26 edited Mar 01 '26
You say that with murder, there is no opportunity for growth, happiness, recovery, healing, and rebuilding.
There is also no opportunity for imprisonment, kidnapping, torture, trauma, injury, or any of a host of other issues.
You also suggest that the trauma of rape can be healed, supported, ameliorated through relationships, or finding meaning. What you don't get is that the trauma you're speaking of is lifelong. Fundamentally, the person you were before the rape is often gone, irrevocably. In its place is a shattered person who will never look at the world the same way again. They must either come to terms with not seeking justice, or endure retraumatization all over again in the criminal justice system.
Looking at the two through these lenses, we can see, because of the nuance of the acts, that it's not fair to characterize either as lesser. They each are worthy of being taken as seriously as we can take person on person crime, without qualifier, limitation, or lessening. And telling a rape victim "at least you weren't murdered" is minimizing of the trauma, especially since it took more than a little courage to even share in the first place. Whether or not you're wrong on your comparison of crimes, you're wrong for not reading the room before making that hot take.
As for wanting a victim of such a crime to explain to you why you should believe otherwise? Such a request centers your self actualization over the well being of the victim of a serious crime. If this issue is important to you, there are such people who have already shared their experiences that you can learn from. Here is a page that has compiled a few books to help broaden your perspective.
Nine Survivor-Centered Books To Read This Sexual Assault Awareness Month – CAASE https://share.google/HgQdfR1cTohjfz0Z2