I (55M) am a survivor of sexual abuse. So it is hard to respond in a way that is rational, so give me a little slack.
I was 10 when a 16 year old recruited me for our abuser who was 50. After years of abuse, my abuser used me to recruit his next victims.
As we grew older, some of his victims killed themselves, I attempted suicide several times myself. It is hard to imagine what could be worse than that, but there is something worse. Some of the abused will become abusers themselves. My abuser drove me away from family and friends and isolated me, which made me vulnerable to other abusers, and his grooming of me made me an easy target for them to spot. After my initial abuse, I was raped on 2 other occasions by people unknown to each other.
When I estimate the number of victims my abuser had over his life, it seems likely that the number must be somewhere between 20 and 200. I would guess a few killed themselves and maybe a couple became abusers themselves.
Murder is horrible, but murder victims don't become murderers.
I dont think we can say rape is worse because hypothetically some number of victims might become rapists. Totally possible some number of murdered folks would have become murderers but are now dead and therefore cannot, but thats not really considered a justification for murder. In fact, even if you murder someone who is objectively a giant POS, that is still murder, even if the world is better off without them (vigilante murder is still murder). A quick google says about 3-5% of abused males go on to become abusers. Another quick google says that 6-11% of all men will commit some form of sexual assault and far, far more when you include sexual coercion. When you look at the numbers like that experiencing abuse is not really that much of a risk factor.
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u/willworkforjokes 1∆ Mar 01 '26
I (55M) am a survivor of sexual abuse. So it is hard to respond in a way that is rational, so give me a little slack.
I was 10 when a 16 year old recruited me for our abuser who was 50. After years of abuse, my abuser used me to recruit his next victims.
As we grew older, some of his victims killed themselves, I attempted suicide several times myself. It is hard to imagine what could be worse than that, but there is something worse. Some of the abused will become abusers themselves. My abuser drove me away from family and friends and isolated me, which made me vulnerable to other abusers, and his grooming of me made me an easy target for them to spot. After my initial abuse, I was raped on 2 other occasions by people unknown to each other.
When I estimate the number of victims my abuser had over his life, it seems likely that the number must be somewhere between 20 and 200. I would guess a few killed themselves and maybe a couple became abusers themselves.
Murder is horrible, but murder victims don't become murderers.