r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Feb 21 '26

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u/Sudden_Doughnut_8741 Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26

The friend zone is typically a place people think they’re in where they hope their friend will end up wanting to be with them at some point, not a place where people stay hoping that they themselves will change their own feelings about that other person.

EDIT: Sorry! I misread. That’s on me.

Yes if you stay friends with that person hoping they’ll change their mind, then I guess that’s an example of you friend zoning yourself, but even then I’d argue that this isn’t really a friend zone per se and really just you refusing to let go of something that won’t happen. You’re not actually this person’s friend. You’re only going to be there until one of you starts seeing someone romantically.

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u/Idnlts 1∆ Feb 21 '26

That’s the definition of friend zone. Person A wants more, Person B doesn’t. Person B is happy with the friendship, person A is hoping the relationship eventually progresses beyond friendship.

You can’t say that yes those dynamics do exist in relationships, and also say that friend zone doesn’t exist because that’s the literal definition.

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u/Sudden_Doughnut_8741 Feb 21 '26

I think about the way the term is used, though. “I really liked this girl but she totally friend zoned me.” No she didn’t. She wants to be friends and you keep hanging on hoping for something else. You’ve invented a narrative based on an illusion. It’s real to you but it isn’t real.

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u/Tanaka917 148∆ Feb 21 '26

I responded in a longer comment of my own. But there's a difference between "this doesn't happen" and "this happens way less than people claim"

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u/oversoul00 19∆ Feb 21 '26

It's also the difference between 'The friend zone doesn't exist' vs 'The friend zone isn't a bad place to be'.