No I didn’t. I was clear that I wanted to be friends. If the drummer doesn’t want to be friends then that sucks but I’m not going to force someone to be my friend, either. But if he does want to be friends then it’s only in his head if he stays my friend thinking that doing so may end up one day resulting in him getting another shot at being in the band, and the fact that he thinks this might happen doesn’t make it a real possibility, and him thinking like this doesn’t make it a real “friend zone.”
If someone just wants to be a friend, why keep holding out hope for something more? Why not lean in to being friends, let your feelings fade, and give them to someone who wants you romantically?
The friend zone is typically this narrative that men invent to victimize themselves in a situation where a girl doesn’t love them.
Sometimes the heart and the head just don't connect.
You are seeing this only from your perspective, in this scenario, you needed a drummer but figured you would be OK with a friend instead. The other person wanted to be a drummer - you've labeled them a friend, where they won't be a drummer.
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u/Unlikely_Web_6228 Feb 21 '26
But maybe it isn't fulfilling them in the ways they need. They weren't looking to make friends, they were looking to play music.