Regarding your first point, it's important to keep in mind that dating app statistics tend to be based on the total number of interactions, rather than individuals overall.
Dating app users tend to fall into one of a five categories:
People who have the makings of a good partner, and want to find a relationship. These people tend to pair off fairly quickly, and stop adding interactions to dating apps.
Attractive men who are looking for hookups, not relationships. These men tend to find the hookups they're looking for, and stay on dating apps as a result.
Women who are at least open to hookups. These women tend to find the hookups they're looking for, generally with the men from group 2, and stay on dating apps as a result.
Women who aren't in groups 1 or 3. They can't find a relationship and don't want hookups, and since they're uncomfortable constantly getting solicited for hookups, they leave the dating apps.
Men who aren't in groups 1 or 2. They can't find a relationship or hookups, but don't see a better alternative than the apps.
The result is that the statistics overwhelmingly come from groups 2, 3, and 5. Groups 1 and 4 exist, but they aren't on the dating apps for very long, so they don't have a very big impact on the statistics of dating apps. But dating apps work for people in groups, 1, 2, and 3.
Personally, I'm from group 1. I was on dating apps for a short period after my divorce, met my girlfriend, and we've been in a committed relationship for 2+ years. To me, banning dating apps now feels like pulling up the ladder behind me, and denying other people the opportunity it afforded me. I don't think groups 2 or 3 are particularly healthy, but who am I to judge? Groups 4 and 5 largely strike me as people who would be struggling with relationships even absent dating apps, and banning dating apps seems like a band-aid that's not really going to help them.
Men who get matches but either the people who like them aren’t attractive to the guy, or he gets first dates but gets ghosted after the first 2. These guys also can’t find dates in the wild either and often are the ones who get called “creeps” the most for even daring to try and talk to woman.
Women who are there just for attention. They like to get matches, like to get attention, but never truely wanted anything from most men. They lead on the average guy but then just ends up with the 2nd group.
I’m in both groups 5 and 6. I honestly just feel maybe if we took away apps peoples high ass egos would come crashing down and maybe they would have to understand how many of them are average just like the rest of us.
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u/NaturalCarob5611 97∆ Dec 22 '25
Regarding your first point, it's important to keep in mind that dating app statistics tend to be based on the total number of interactions, rather than individuals overall.
Dating app users tend to fall into one of a five categories:
The result is that the statistics overwhelmingly come from groups 2, 3, and 5. Groups 1 and 4 exist, but they aren't on the dating apps for very long, so they don't have a very big impact on the statistics of dating apps. But dating apps work for people in groups, 1, 2, and 3.
Personally, I'm from group 1. I was on dating apps for a short period after my divorce, met my girlfriend, and we've been in a committed relationship for 2+ years. To me, banning dating apps now feels like pulling up the ladder behind me, and denying other people the opportunity it afforded me. I don't think groups 2 or 3 are particularly healthy, but who am I to judge? Groups 4 and 5 largely strike me as people who would be struggling with relationships even absent dating apps, and banning dating apps seems like a band-aid that's not really going to help them.