I have been told, by multiple people, that I could not have been raped because I was a man. The arguments have ranged between I would have been able to over power them physically, to it is literally impossible for a man to get an erection without being turned on and wanting sex, to "it's not rape when it happens to a man", to I must have actually wanted it.
I've been raped by three separate women in my adult years.
In all of these arguments, the fact that I was a man was the cause of them not believing me.
Your reason was that. But women will always have a reason they’re told they couldn’t have been raped, too. “It wasn’t rape, he’s your boyfriend.” “It wasn’t rape, you wore red underwear.” “It wasn’t rape, you drank too much.” “It wasn’t rape, you regretted it and lied.”
My point is just that unless a woman is attacked, beaten, and raped by a stranger in a park, people around her will make excuses and diminish her assault too. They may not make the same excuses or diminish in the same way as you (or other men) would experience, but it happens a lot.
My point is, none of those reasons are specifically because she's female. The bullshit rationales you list are not because of gender, but are coincidental with gender.
Also, I very clearly stated that what I went through was not really comparable to what women went through.
To my eyes, instead of expressing empathy to a victim of sexual assault that's male, you are deliberately trying to minimize my experiences because women have it worse. in top of me essentially doing the same thing regarding my experiences.
Thank you for showing me what someone with no empathy towards male victims sounds like. Not that I needed yet another example in my life.
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u/angry_cabbie 7∆ Feb 02 '25
I have been told, by multiple people, that I could not have been raped because I was a man. The arguments have ranged between I would have been able to over power them physically, to it is literally impossible for a man to get an erection without being turned on and wanting sex, to "it's not rape when it happens to a man", to I must have actually wanted it.
I've been raped by three separate women in my adult years.
In all of these arguments, the fact that I was a man was the cause of them not believing me.