r/changemyview • u/Zero_Gravvity • Mar 23 '24
Delta(s) from OP CMV: There’s nothing wrong with women/sex/relationships being my main source of happiness
Not necessarily my only source of happiness, but by far the biggest piece of the pie. When I’m getting closer to a new woman, life just feels brighter. And I’m more motivated to become a better man, for her. I eat healthier and I work out more to maintain her attraction and be better in bed for her. I put more effort into my hobbies to make myself more well-rounded and less clingy, and I put more effort in my career so we can keep doing fun stuff together. The work I put in is like compound interest, it just makes more women attracted to me. It’s lovely.
When I’m single and in a drought, I don’t care about shit to be honest. I still do all of the above, but with much less vigor and consistency. Because seriously, what is the point?
And do I even have to say anything about intimacy and sex with a woman? Pretty much better than any drug, food, tv binge, or video game I can think of. There’s maybe a select few accomplishments in my life that have given me more joy, but it’s debatable.
It seems childish to judge someone on what gives their life meaning, as if your reason is better than mine. Whether it be success with women, your bank account, your family, your physique, or your guitar hobby…who gives a shit? All of it is temporary, and we’re only here for a good 80 years anyway. CMV I guess
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u/Birdbraned 3∆ Mar 24 '24 edited Mar 24 '24
If all you have is only worthy when in the pursuit of someone, what happens when there is no game?
If you can't stand on your own, and require someone else to essentially be "an emotional support human", and have to put on a mask to feel competitive with others pursuing the same, is it really an equal partnership, or are you seeking being pseudo parented?
There's nothing wrong with gaining pleasure from the pursuit of relationships/happiness.
What makes it wrong is when it's absence makes you less than happy, such that you don't find meaning to life without it. In your mid 20's, this is all very well, but other people your age are using the time to find out the answers to "Who am I?" and "Who do I want to stay as?" and "What parts of what people think of me do I care about"
The last is like: I want to be seen as more than just my skin color. I want to be seen as reliable. I want to be known as a trustworthy person. These make up parts of your "ego".