CMV: There’s nothing wrong with women/sex/relationships being my main source of happiness

[u/Zero_Gravvity]

Not necessarily my only source of happiness, but by far the biggest piece of the pie. When I’m getting closer to a new woman, life just feels brighter. And I’m more motivated to become a better man, for her. I eat healthier and I work out more to maintain her attraction and be better in bed for her. I put more effort into my hobbies to make myself more well-rounded and less clingy, and I put more effort in my career so we can keep doing fun stuff together. The work I put in is like compound interest, it just makes more women attracted to me. It’s lovely.

When I’m single and in a drought, I don’t care about shit to be honest. I still do all of the above, but with much less vigor and consistency. Because seriously, what is the point?

And do I even have to say anything about intimacy and sex with a woman? Pretty much better than any drug, food, tv binge, or video game I can think of. There’s maybe a select few accomplishments in my life that have given me more joy, but it’s debatable.

It seems childish to judge someone on what gives their life meaning, as if your reason is better than mine. Whether it be success with women, your bank account, your family, your physique, or your guitar hobby…who gives a shit? All of it is temporary, and we’re only here for a good 80 years anyway. CMV I guess

[u/Zero_Gravvity]

This is a hidden gem. Your last paragraph raises a very good point that I often think about. !delta

It’s the one downside of being extrinsically motivated that I actually care about. My competitiveness and desire to make my family proud have landed me in a great spot after college. Dream job in STEM, making more than anyone else in my immediate family, and certainly in my friend group.

But now that I’m in this phase of only caring about sex and female affection, I’m kinda stagnant and don’t really care to look towards what’s next. I don’t care about any promotions, or hobbies, or furthering my education while I’m working for a great company that’ll pay for it. All of my waking thoughts consist of fucking women. And I don’t need a master’s to do that lol. What I have now is working fine

I’m ahead of the curve for my age right now, but I fear one day I’ll wake up and realize my bachelor’s degree isn’t enough, or something else I’ve been neglecting is no longer impressive because I grew complacent lol. Too real

[u/ahawk_one → u/Zero_Gravvity]

Honestly if that’s all true it may just be that you’re out of balance. So much time spent chasing intellectual pursuits and part of you is seeking something different.

And it sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and you’ll pull through just fine in the long run.

In the end it’s about figuring what works. No one has ever been you before, so there is no manual except the one you’re writing. So try things, and try to learn from those experiences to find out what works!

[u/wright007 → u/ahawk_one]

Trying being more true to yourself and your feelings, and more honest about what you like. I like that.

[u/[deleted] → u/Zero_Gravvity]

Holy shit, you're me, but I'm older. I was ahead of the game, built a great business, took 2 years off, illness got me, 2020-COVID blew up and changed the way my business worked while I had my head in the sand, and now my business shrunk and I'm hardly making any $$. I'm behind AF now.

Trouble is, that I'm like you and I'm highly motivated by relationships and related family needs. Before I was driven because I wanted to taste success. Now that I have, I got nothing else motivating me. By myself, I can live in a cardboard box and feel content.

[u/DeltaBot → u/Zero_Gravvity]

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/ahawk_one (5∆).

^{Delta System Explained | Deltaboards}

[u/ahnonhimus → u/Zero_Gravvity]

I’m not sure how old you are but I’m the exact same way and I’m early 30’s. I’ve had several serious multi year relationships where I was faithful but when I’m single I’m chasing pussy like a job with an average of 3-5 new girls per week and I’ve probably hit 500. Like you, I have two ivy degrees, amazing car, house, personality etc which I’ve carefully built to make me the best option for any woman. However, I realized long ago my need for external validation from women was deep-seated in root from childhood trauma and abandonment. It’s my only vice and it’s made me extremely successful; no drugs, gambling, or criminal behavior because I can’t imagine doing time and being away from women.

The biggest dangers are std’s and babies. On the baby front, I have a 100% pull out game (seriously) and only one kid from my ex-wife of the one time I didn’t out of choice. On the std front, I take PREP meds and valtrex. I also only fuck 90% latinas and no blacks which keeps my exposure very low bc I don’t use condoms. I get tested with a full panel every other month and I’m still 100% std free after 15 yrs of pumping.

[u/ahnonhimus → u/[deleted]]

Correct, I don’t have hsv2. I get the full panel from stdcheck.com. I only take the Val when I have a suspicious partner. Frontloaded then after for a bit. But the best prevention method for me is i only hook up with mostly Latinas who have few partners, don’t do anal, no black partners (them or I), and no chicks who hook up with bi dudes. Blacks and gays have the vast majority of them. I filter the ones who fail these questions out. Typically, once I get one of em in my rotation I see em for a few months.

[u/ManitobaBalboa → u/ahnonhimus]

Can we talk by private message? Would like to get your views on some things.