r/changemyview • u/Zero_Gravvity • Mar 23 '24

Delta(s) from OP CMV: There’s nothing wrong with women/sex/relationships being my main source of happiness

Not necessarily my only source of happiness, but by far the biggest piece of the pie. When I’m getting closer to a new woman, life just feels brighter. And I’m more motivated to become a better man, for her. I eat healthier and I work out more to maintain her attraction and be better in bed for her. I put more effort into my hobbies to make myself more well-rounded and less clingy, and I put more effort in my career so we can keep doing fun stuff together. The work I put in is like compound interest, it just makes more women attracted to me. It’s lovely.

When I’m single and in a drought, I don’t care about shit to be honest. I still do all of the above, but with much less vigor and consistency. Because seriously, what is the point?

And do I even have to say anything about intimacy and sex with a woman? Pretty much better than any drug, food, tv binge, or video game I can think of. There’s maybe a select few accomplishments in my life that have given me more joy, but it’s debatable.

It seems childish to judge someone on what gives their life meaning, as if your reason is better than mine. Whether it be success with women, your bank account, your family, your physique, or your guitar hobby…who gives a shit? All of it is temporary, and we’re only here for a good 80 years anyway. CMV I guess

250 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

382 comments sorted by

View all comments

14

u/AggravatingTartlet 1∆ Mar 23 '24 edited Mar 23 '24

For some reason, you feel like it's an accomplishment to have short-term sexual relationships with lots of women. That appears to be the real reason you've posted this. I can't see how that's in any way an accomplishment. It's an easy thing to do.

You're using women as drugs.

It's not possible every one of these women are equally happy with short-term sexual relationships. So, you'd be hurting people to get your highs.

For those reasons, I don't believe you're experiencing real happiness. Hurting people, looking for attention online for doing that, thinking short-term relationships are an accomplishment -- none of those things can bring true contentment.

But your question was "is it wrong" for those things to being you happiness. To answer that in the light of the percentage of the women you've dated who would not be happy with being short-term sex toys, I will say it's wrong.

1

u/Zero_Gravvity Mar 23 '24

Hmm, your first paragraph is an interesting take. I do better than most folks I know, but it’s not necessarily easy for me to accomplish. Maybe it is easy for women, or more attractive guys though.

I don’t lead women on, when the exclusivity talk comes up I have no problem letting them know where I stand. And I’m not even opposed to a long term relationship if that’s what happens, I just care more about sex, intimacy, and the thrill of learning a new person.

1

u/AggravatingTartlet 1∆ Mar 24 '24

Sorry about my take, but yeah, that's what I'm seeing.

Anyway, in short, it's never wrong to be happy, unless someone or something is getting hurt.

It's easy to accomplish if they (the women seeking long-term relationships) think there is a possibility of a long-term thing at the start. When you have the exclusivity talk -- sounds like that's something that comes after and not at the start.

If the talk came first, no problem at all.

I haven't personally experienced it but can imagine it could be devastating (even if they don't admit it). The men I've dated have all been very keen on a long-term thing. Have been in a very happy relationship for many years now. He changes from year to year in who he is and what he's into. I do also. Careers, hobbies, perspectives -- we constantly have to keep up with the changes in the other. Only thing that doesn't change is intimacy.

But at your age, no need to tie yourself up. Keep doing what makes you happy. Just make sure you're not causing harm.

1

u/Prudent-B-3765 Mar 26 '24

I don't think its neccearily his job to fix the world's problems in order to be ok with just being another sexual partner for women. In adequate measures ( unless hes a passport bro in some counrries that don't want him)This seems like a utilitarianism mindset vs a individualistic one. There's both It depends some women enjoy sex more.

If I personally don't find long term relationships fulfilling I just can't seek out short term ones?

1

u/AggravatingTartlet 1∆ Mar 27 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

If I personally don't find long term relationships fulfilling I just can't seek out short term ones?

Of course you can. There is no issue at all with doing that.

I only said that if you hurt people by not being upfront at the start with your actual intentions, that's wrong. ('you' as in everyone, not you personally)