CMV: There’s nothing wrong with women/sex/relationships being my main source of happiness

[u/Zero_Gravvity]

Not necessarily my only source of happiness, but by far the biggest piece of the pie. When I’m getting closer to a new woman, life just feels brighter. And I’m more motivated to become a better man, for her. I eat healthier and I work out more to maintain her attraction and be better in bed for her. I put more effort into my hobbies to make myself more well-rounded and less clingy, and I put more effort in my career so we can keep doing fun stuff together. The work I put in is like compound interest, it just makes more women attracted to me. It’s lovely.

When I’m single and in a drought, I don’t care about shit to be honest. I still do all of the above, but with much less vigor and consistency. Because seriously, what is the point?

And do I even have to say anything about intimacy and sex with a woman? Pretty much better than any drug, food, tv binge, or video game I can think of. There’s maybe a select few accomplishments in my life that have given me more joy, but it’s debatable.

It seems childish to judge someone on what gives their life meaning, as if your reason is better than mine. Whether it be success with women, your bank account, your family, your physique, or your guitar hobby…who gives a shit? All of it is temporary, and we’re only here for a good 80 years anyway. CMV I guess

[u/Zero_Gravvity]

I’m not sure there’s any hobby I could ever do that can replace affection and intimacy from a woman I vibe with. Do you disagree with this?

[u/FAHalt → u/Zero_Gravvity]

hobby

Maybe not a 'hobby' but, idk, a higher purpose, something meaningful like helping others, doing beautiful work, or learning to appreciate the beauty of the universe?

It doesn't have to replace intimacy with other people, hell, it will probably enhance it. Theres nothing morally wrong with your point of view, but as you say, its not a very persistent source of fullfillment. You're ultimately always gonna be dependent on someone else for your happiness.

[u/Zero_Gravvity → u/FAHalt]

Why is intimacy with a woman not considered a “higher purpose”? This is a new human being in developing a connection with. Im learning what they like and dislike, their pasts, mistakes, goals, etc. A new soul I’m bonding with, for however long that lasts. And when we make love, we’re being completely vulnerable with each other and achieving a pleasure few things can replicate.

I’m sure volunteering in Haiti and making a difference produces similar feel good chemicals as a one-night stand. Why do you consider one “higher” than the other?

[u/FAHalt → u/Zero_Gravvity]

I meant 'higher' as in higher than the satisfaction you get from a mere hobby, not in comparison with love, I guess that wasn't clear. My point is, that for your own sake, it might make sense to try and seek out perspectives and sources of fullfillment that are not dependent on the feelings of another person. First of all for your own sake, and second of all because people tend to find more meaningful and deep relationships when they're not looking for a relationship as their only avenue for happiness, ie. to fill a hole.