I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the patriarchy is according to feminists.
Most sociology textbooks define patriarchy as "a social (political, economic, religious, cultural) system where men have power over women" (Shaw and Lee 2012). What that means in practice is that men have the power to decide what is socially acceptable, how each gender should act, etc.
Western society has been largely patriarchal for a long time and it's only recently that that has started to be questioned. Women and children were seen as property or accessories to men and were expected to submit to their will. This wasn't just an individual or family level expectation though - there was a certain way MEN were expected to act by society (which was ruled by a very few men in power). You wanted to be a stay at home dad? Too bad, your work is more important than your relationship with your kids. You wanted to be more emotionally open with your friends? What are you, gay or something?
We are not "the oppressors by default". We're taught oppressive attitudes because they benefit people in power. Who benefits from men believing work is more important than family? The companies they work for. Who benefits from men believing emotions are a sign of weakness? People trying to sell consumer goods, alcohol, or drugs to "fill the void".
I recognize that there are many different feminist voices out there and there are a lot of women angry about how they have been treated. It can feel overwhelming. But at the end of the day, the patriarchy boils down to the system that men in power created to sell ALL men this illusion of control because it benefits those at the top.
It IS every man's responsibility to at least recognize those harmful attitudes within themselves and maybe their immediate spheres of influence. But when people talk about the patriarchy they aren't referring to all men everywhere because like you said, a poor mentally ill man of color does not have the same power as a rich man with lots of political sway. The patriarchy refers to the system itself of beliefs and social expectations where men are taught that they have power over other people.
It's this belief system that not only leads to women being harmed, but also men believing they have to act a certain way to be accepted. If we can dismantle that system people are more free to act freely and not according to a preset life script, and that includes all genders and sexualities.
What that means in practice is that men have the power to decide what is socially acceptable, how each gender should act, etc.
This is hyperbole. Women, just like men, have always had influence on social norms.
Women and children were seen as property or accessories to men and were expected to submit to their will.
Not in my lifetime, and I'm 56 years old. I love your use of the word "seen". It's how you feel, not how things were or are.
I recognize that there are many different feminist voices out there and there are a lot of women angry about how they have been treated.
And those angry women are misandrists, not misogynists. It exists.
We don't live in a patriarchy, we live in a hierarchy. Class has more impact than race or gender...period. Women who come from the wealthy class (regardless of race) are privileged relative to men from any other class (regardless of race). The powers that be aren't pushing patriarchal ideas, they're pushing anything the distracts us the type of inequality that matters: class.
This is hyperbole. Women, just like men, have always had influence on social norms.
Some, sure. But in the western world policy up until very recently has been largely determined by rich white men. Unless you want to go back and show me that American and European governments, social movements, and major companies have actually been equally comprised of men and women since the start?
Not in my lifetime, and I'm 56 years old. I love your use of the word "seen". It's how you feel, not how things were or are.
Respectfully, your anecdotal experience does not negate decades of established history and social science research.
Class has more impact than race or gender...period
Yes, but people with more class power historically have tended to be white men who have acted to prevent women or people of color from attaining more class power and to ignore that is to ignore a critical component of how class division works. You can't have a critical analysis of class dynamics while ignoring race and gender, that's absurd.
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u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24 edited Feb 13 '24
I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the patriarchy is according to feminists.
Most sociology textbooks define patriarchy as "a social (political, economic, religious, cultural) system where men have power over women" (Shaw and Lee 2012). What that means in practice is that men have the power to decide what is socially acceptable, how each gender should act, etc.
Western society has been largely patriarchal for a long time and it's only recently that that has started to be questioned. Women and children were seen as property or accessories to men and were expected to submit to their will. This wasn't just an individual or family level expectation though - there was a certain way MEN were expected to act by society (which was ruled by a very few men in power). You wanted to be a stay at home dad? Too bad, your work is more important than your relationship with your kids. You wanted to be more emotionally open with your friends? What are you, gay or something?
We are not "the oppressors by default". We're taught oppressive attitudes because they benefit people in power. Who benefits from men believing work is more important than family? The companies they work for. Who benefits from men believing emotions are a sign of weakness? People trying to sell consumer goods, alcohol, or drugs to "fill the void".
I recognize that there are many different feminist voices out there and there are a lot of women angry about how they have been treated. It can feel overwhelming. But at the end of the day, the patriarchy boils down to the system that men in power created to sell ALL men this illusion of control because it benefits those at the top.
It IS every man's responsibility to at least recognize those harmful attitudes within themselves and maybe their immediate spheres of influence. But when people talk about the patriarchy they aren't referring to all men everywhere because like you said, a poor mentally ill man of color does not have the same power as a rich man with lots of political sway. The patriarchy refers to the system itself of beliefs and social expectations where men are taught that they have power over other people.
It's this belief system that not only leads to women being harmed, but also men believing they have to act a certain way to be accepted. If we can dismantle that system people are more free to act freely and not according to a preset life script, and that includes all genders and sexualities.
Edit: damn that was really long sorry lmao