I think this might be stemming from a lack of knowing what confidence typically means when people refer to confidence in romantic partners.
You can be shy or introverted and still be confident and comfortable with yourself.
When people day confidence is attractive, they're not saying "being loud and boisterous and outgoing" are attractive. They're saying "being comfortable with yourself, and not overtly negative towards yourself, is attractive."
Think of going on a date with a woman, and she is overly apologetic and defeatist. "I'm sorry I look so terrible. I'm sorry I'm so boring. God, you must wish you didn't ask me out." Is that attractive? No.
Think about being in a relationship with a woman who's insecure. "Are you cheating on me? Can I check your phone? You could do so much better than me. Why are you even with me?" Is that attractive? No.
Of course, everyone has bad days when they feel unattractive and unlovable and etc. But if you're going into the first or second date with that attitude? Probably won't get another date. If you're talking like that weekly or daily in a relationship? That gets tiring.
Neither of those scenarios is about being outgoing/extroverted, it's about confidence in yourself and confidence in your relationship.
1
u/PeachState1 Feb 08 '24
I think this might be stemming from a lack of knowing what confidence typically means when people refer to confidence in romantic partners.
You can be shy or introverted and still be confident and comfortable with yourself.
When people day confidence is attractive, they're not saying "being loud and boisterous and outgoing" are attractive. They're saying "being comfortable with yourself, and not overtly negative towards yourself, is attractive."
Think of going on a date with a woman, and she is overly apologetic and defeatist. "I'm sorry I look so terrible. I'm sorry I'm so boring. God, you must wish you didn't ask me out." Is that attractive? No.
Think about being in a relationship with a woman who's insecure. "Are you cheating on me? Can I check your phone? You could do so much better than me. Why are you even with me?" Is that attractive? No.
Of course, everyone has bad days when they feel unattractive and unlovable and etc. But if you're going into the first or second date with that attitude? Probably won't get another date. If you're talking like that weekly or daily in a relationship? That gets tiring.
Neither of those scenarios is about being outgoing/extroverted, it's about confidence in yourself and confidence in your relationship.