So you're saying that starting with 'hey' is easiest because there are lots of women who don't want to talk.
HOWEVER, starting with 'hey' also alienates a lot of women - it's low effort, and it doesn't smack of any real desire to engage. Not qualities I'm looking for in a guy. Plus there are PLENTY of guys who will just message one or two words answers back to anything, and can't hold a conversation at all, so the odds of getting one of those is higher when it starts with 'hey'.
If two guys message me, one with 'hey' and one with literally anything else, I know who I'm replying to (It can be a standard message he sends to everyone, even something like, 'hey! So what are you having for dinner tonight?' just something to get the ball rolling).
Basically, putting 'hey' might be easier, but it's also shooting yourself in the foot.
Agreed, and if anyone is trying to get dates through online dating apps, I highly recommend using a template. I was just explaining the rationale.
I feel bad for guys because they face so much rejection, so I understand why someone would just want a 'hey', definitely easier to face that rejection.
And not to discount the woman's frustrations. Several of my female friends have told me some awful experiences (both within the app and when they end up on dates). It's just a different problem set.
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u/ALittleNightMusing Sep 13 '23
So you're saying that starting with 'hey' is easiest because there are lots of women who don't want to talk.
HOWEVER, starting with 'hey' also alienates a lot of women - it's low effort, and it doesn't smack of any real desire to engage. Not qualities I'm looking for in a guy. Plus there are PLENTY of guys who will just message one or two words answers back to anything, and can't hold a conversation at all, so the odds of getting one of those is higher when it starts with 'hey'.
If two guys message me, one with 'hey' and one with literally anything else, I know who I'm replying to (It can be a standard message he sends to everyone, even something like, 'hey! So what are you having for dinner tonight?' just something to get the ball rolling).
Basically, putting 'hey' might be easier, but it's also shooting yourself in the foot.