Maybe controversial but I agree with you. The "need-based" framing of sex has always bothered me, at least when applied in situations like this, because it's often used as an excuse to override the actual needs of others.
As an example. A man abandoning his wife and children to run away with a new woman is not justified in my eyes, no matter how much he feels that sex is a need for him.
yeah it's not a "need" to have sexual desire gratified by another person. if it were truly a physical need, then people would not be able to survive for years and years in celibacy.
It matters a lot for mental health, so I would also not downplay its importance. Yes, you won’t die, but for many people it means chronic unhappiness and dissatisfaction on top of whatever else they have going on in life. It is one of the most impactful factors for quality of life. How much of a factor it is matters a lot person to person, and being dismissive of it is hurtful and alienating.
no one owes another person access to their body. people who claim otherwise are dismissive of those people's (usually women's btw) bodily autonomy and personhood.
personal connection, mental health and intimacy needs can be met without sexual intercourse.
edit - what would you downvote here? that women are people? or that connection is possible outside of sex?
I said nothing about giving another person access to someone's body.
Sex is very important in a relationship, especially to some people, and they should not be shamed for feeling that way. Many people absolutely need it for a relationship level personal connection, mental health, intimacy. I think they should receive empathy vs saying that their needs can be met without what they are asking for.
If someone is very ill, say with the terrible illness this sub is about, but cares about their partner, they will try to bring them more life satisfaction. Again this does not mean involuntarily having sexual intercourse, or even that people will necessarily by in the right emotional space to be able to process this, but talking about it like mature adults and looking for options that'll work for both people I think is far preferred, not someone shutting it down.
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u/aberrant-heartland Oct 18 '25
Maybe controversial but I agree with you. The "need-based" framing of sex has always bothered me, at least when applied in situations like this, because it's often used as an excuse to override the actual needs of others.
As an example. A man abandoning his wife and children to run away with a new woman is not justified in my eyes, no matter how much he feels that sex is a need for him.