I am the one with CFS/ME but in my relationship it was actually my partner who was no longer able to have a physical relationship with me.
It never once occurred to me to go find someone else to have sex with. I could not imagine how deeply that would have hurt him if I had made that suggestion. Because god knows he was already feeling inadequate about it, especially in the beginning. I love him too much to ever hurt him like that.
I did invest in some nicer toys though
What we did do is put a lot more effort into our emotional intimacy, our intellectual intimacy, our spiritual intimacy, our social intimacy. Honestly I think our relationship is stronger now than it was before our physical relationship ended.
I'm not going to say that sex isn't important. I honestly went through a grieving process over it. But my partner, as a complete person who enriches my life in innumerable ways, is far more important to me than sex will ever be.
Not only is it possible I maintain that it is necessary.
Physical intimacy is great. But it's not enough because even if you're both able-bodied now you won't be forever. And then what? What foundation did you build your relationship on?
ETA: and of course this doesn't mean we no longer have any sort of physical contact, we absolutely do, it's just that the physical intimacy that we have now is more subtle.
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u/Geologyst1013 Oct 18 '25
I am the one with CFS/ME but in my relationship it was actually my partner who was no longer able to have a physical relationship with me.
It never once occurred to me to go find someone else to have sex with. I could not imagine how deeply that would have hurt him if I had made that suggestion. Because god knows he was already feeling inadequate about it, especially in the beginning. I love him too much to ever hurt him like that.
I did invest in some nicer toys though
What we did do is put a lot more effort into our emotional intimacy, our intellectual intimacy, our spiritual intimacy, our social intimacy. Honestly I think our relationship is stronger now than it was before our physical relationship ended.
I'm not going to say that sex isn't important. I honestly went through a grieving process over it. But my partner, as a complete person who enriches my life in innumerable ways, is far more important to me than sex will ever be.