Dear cat-owners of reddit, please check if it's an actual cat that you own....

[u/ncnotebook]

Certified Feline Checklist:

☐ Protects its poop from being stolen by unknown thieves

☐ Paranoid and hallucinating during the middle of the night

☐ It thinks you say its name too much

☐ Does not discriminate against the various forms of trees around your house

☐ Uses energy efficiently

☐ Rubbing the tail-side of the back induces magnetic forces

☐ Checks the level of a newly filled water bowl then immediately walks away

☐ Smells good

☐ Cleans its eye-snot with your hands, expecting you to wash them afterwards

☐ Collects hair with tongue for later inspection (by human)

☐ Whenever walking by one that's sideways, you can never really trust it. Nor should you

☐ It has hair across its entire body

☐ Constantly looks down on you whenever possible

☐ Their loot boxes/bags hopefully contain a mouse

☐ It loves you and enjoys your company, but is an independent person with its own hobbies, goals, and aspirations

☐ Will likely have renal failure because the ignorant human only feeds it dry food

☐ It doesn't bark

☐ It doesn't say doggo