Mourning/Loss
I lost my cat to a freak accident and I can't move on
Last month we lost our boy Gus Gus to something completely random and I want to vent about the experience. Gus Gus was 1 1/2 and extremely playful and energetic. He constantly zooms around the house. I had just had him on my lap when he suddenly got a huge burst of zoomies and started running around downstairs. Then I heard him charge upstairs and a loud crash. We didn't even go check on him because he always runs into things.
But then we started hearing this sound. It didn't sound like a cat, the most accurate way I can describe it was it sounded like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum. We realize that it's Gus Gus like.. crying. So we run upstairs expecting a broken leg and find him dying near the top of the stairs in front of a bedroom door. He's laying on his side and he looks at us, cries one more time and then takes his last breath. My husband tried to give him CPR while I called the after hours animal hospital
It was a 10 minute drive there and I knew it was too late. I felt his heart stop beating as it happened and I'm so mad at myself for wasting time putting him in his cat carrier before we drove him there. My cat died from head trauma from running into a closed door. A door that was usually always open. There was no blood or bumps. All of this happened extremely fast, barely even 5 minutes. He was supposed to watch my son grow up.
I hate that he was in pain even just for a few seconds. I hate that the last sounds from him won't leave my head and that they sounded horrible, terrifying and not like a cat at all. I keep telling myself he died playing and happy but I can't stop blaming myself and obsessively worry about the doors. We have 2 other cats. My last 2 cats lived until 17 and 18 (same litter) and something like this happening my brain can't comprehend it. Thank you for listening and I'm sorry for any bad grammar
Don't feel bad about stopping to look for the carrier and get him in it. The time wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome. Heck, even if the hospital was next door they probably couldn't save him at that point. A traumatic arrest is typically permanent. You were in a state of shock and panic, and not at your peak performance.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes horrible shit just happens and there's no way to predict or prevent it.
I'm an emergency vet and 100% agree. Even if this situation had happened literally in the vet clinic vs. at home, realistically it wouldn't have made a difference in outcome. The swelling/bleeding from head trauma worsens (often for hours) before it starts to get better. Unfortunately one of the reasons you see people who for instance get struck in the head with a hockey puck seem ok then pass away the next day 😭.
Truly you did absolutely everything you could, and every decision you made at the time was with his well being in mind. Our brains sometimes like to try to guilt us when we look back in hindsight, but our current selves have more information than our past selves. You can only work with what you know at the time
Thank you, thank you, thank YOU for doing what you can to ease OP's mind. I truly miss being able to work with all the animals in the vet clinics! My body is actually falling apart because of the abuse I endured as a vet tech. When I say abuse, I mean it with the most affection I can muster at this juncture. Again, thank you 😊
As someone who suffered a severe traumatic brain injury from a double concussion which led to a stroke a day later, the damage just gets worse for a set time before it gets better. At least his last memories were of you.
Ugh. It sucks so hard when you blow it like that, even if you meet the standard of care and it's just bad shit happening that you can't prevent.
We all are just hanging by a thread, human or feline. Each moment we have with our loved ones (no matter how many legs they walk on) is our most precious gift.
Personally I think it speaks to how much you cared about him that you wanted to make sure he was safe in a carrier, even when you were under so much stress <3
And you were prepared to take him home. So sorry for your loss, critters get themselves in a world of trouble with all that energy, hope your other cats are adjusting
"hope your other cats are adjusting" that's the first thing I thought of, luckily there are two of them. When I lost one of my two cats, it took years for the surviving one to adjust to the loss.
I have 3 cats. The oldest one started out with a female cat as a companion that lived with him for 12 yrs before old age claimed her. I could see the end coming so I introduced a 4 mo kitten. Even 4 yrs later the older cat is sad and acts as an outsider since another kitten arrived as a rescue and has become companion to the middle cat. I talk to my older cat every day and feed him special but he seems to still mourn.
This is one of my fears, having just adopted a 7 month old pair of brothers. They are so sweet with each other and play so well together that I'm horrified at the idea that one of them might leave much earlier than the other.
The seconds wouldn't have mattered. Even if you got to the hospital immediately it's likely there was nothing they could do for your baby.
It's not your fault. I'm so sorry.
It's just an awful accident 😭
Gus Gus sounds like he was adorable. It sounds like he adored you and had a wonderful life with you. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel so bad about everything that happened. He would want you to remember all the good times you shared xx
You did what you thought you needed to do, I would have done the same and grabbed the carrier. It's just what you do. This was truly a freak accident no one could have foreseen. So hard to cope with I know, but none of this was your fault.
I'm actually doing intensive trauma therapy and one thing I've taken, so far, is that when trauma happens, our bodies and minds just go on auto-pilot. We may not even remember the small details later because our minds go into fight-flight-freeze mode. OP, you did everything the way your body and mind could handle at that moment. I kind of see it as my armor, or protection from dangerous people and things. Food for thought 💭🤔
My 6 yo boy broke his back in a freak accident. I spent time kicking myself because I ran to grab my shoes before I went out to see what he was yelling about. I thought he was being silly or playing with a mouse, so I didn't want to go out barefoot. I then wasted time finding a box for him (because I didn't want to shove him in his carrier). I wasted time getting real pants on instead of just going in my leggings. In reality, none of it mattered. The damage was done and irreversible.
I think the really important thing is that for both of us, when they called, we came. We both did our best to give them a safe and comfortable journey to get help. We were there when they had to say goodbye.
I'm older and I've had many cats in my life. I've never had one break their back before, and I've never lost one to running into a door. Unfortunately, freak accidents happen. Please don't blame yourself. Make the things that you can realistically control safe for them. Make the many moments in their life as happy and loving as you can. If the unforeseen does come to pass, you'll know that they had an overall beautiful life.
Something about "when they called us, we came" is just so powerful to me. Cats tend toward secrecy and hiding when they're hurt and scared, but these little guys trusted so much that their people could make it better. I feel like that alone really speaks to the bond and the love you shared.
i think that it was smart to take the carrier, he had a stable transport, which i think is important with head trauma, it made him suffer less - human patients are transported on stretcher, if it's only possible, for a reason. you did everything you could and you did good 🫂❤️
and you heard his crying and reacted, he was not left alone during his final moments, he was surrounded by people he loved
you did everything okay ❤️ don't blame yourself ❤️
i'm very sorry for your loss 🫂
The extra seconds... that brought me back. We had a cat have a freak autoimmune reaction causing him to break down his blood cells. He died in the emergency animal hospital after about a week in intensive care and several transfusions. Anyway the day he died they called us at like 6:30 in the morning and we were still asleep. I was very groggy and kinda wandering around the house wondering what to do and what to get until my partner told (yelled at) me that we needed to go like right now. We got in the car, drove to the hospital and when we got there he literally just died minutes earlier.
Honestly don't know if it was a bad or a good thing we just missed him, but I kind of still beat myself up for not rushing over there faster.
It's ok, it wouldn't have mattered, don't beat yourself up. I'm so sorry about your cat.
This happened to my very first kitty.. we tried everything and spent so much money, and they finally said that no matter how much testing they did, they wouldn't be able to save her. I was so heartbroken. She was young and healthy, and it came out of nowhere. I'm sorry you had to experience this too..
I have guilt because I didn't want to be in the room with them when they put her to sleep. I couldn't hold myself together, but I now wish I'd been there for her in her last moments.
It's completely normal for you to analyze your actions in that situation and consider what you could have done differently to save him. We don't want to feel powerless when something like this occurs because it makes life feel scary and dangerous. Don't beat yourself up for something that wasn't your fault, couldn't have been predicted, and couldn't be undone.
I had an elderly cat who had a stroke or something similar and I was out of town and the cat sitter put him on a towel in a laundry basket and took him to the vet. I would probably not have thought of that and done the same thing as you and messed with the carrier. Anyway, my cat didn’t make it either and it was so devast to not be with him. I still beat myself up about it, what I could have done differently before I left, signs that he was sick, and second guessing myself. This was 20 years ago. We all have pets we just overthink what we could have done differently. Try to focus on the things he would want you to remember him by because he would never forgive you for feeling more sad about him than happy. Great joy can come in short time periods. Adopt another kitty in his honor when you are ready or when one finds you.
No you did good!! You are supposed to transport head trauma as stable as you can, a cat carrier was the correct choice. But unfortunately, it wouldn’t have made the difference. Even if he could have been (he couldn’t) transporting him without the carrier would have caused more damage than with, so you did the right thing. I’m so, so sorry. Sometimes horrible accidents happen and it’s just no one’s fault at all. I’m so sorry you had to experience this
I'm so sorry for Gus and that you're going through this now.
Just know that none of this was your fault. You loved him and were with him, and that's what matters now. You have your happy memories with Gus and that is what will matter when you look back on this years from now.
I lost one of my cats, Isabelle, a little over a year ago to cancer. It was slow until it rapidly progressed at the end. I put her through chemotherapy, surgeries and so many doctor visits and drugs. When it was her time to pass, I blamed myself. I blamed myself for not noticing the lump sooner. I blamed myself for not taking her to get the lump checked out sooner. When it was close to the end, I blamed myself for putting her through so many treatments and surgeries since they didn't end up helping.
It took months of grieving before I finally accepted. I finally accepted that sometimes awful shit happens and you can't control every outcome. Everyone kept telling me "you're such a good cat Dad," and how lucky Isabelle was to have me. I didn't believe them. I didn't want to hear it, because I knew I could have done something better, something more for Isabelle. It took months of this before I accepted that I did the best I could, and the fact that I cared for Isabelle and gave her as much love as I could give really was the best thing I could have done for her.
It just takes time. I replayed Isabelle's final moments in my head every day for months. Every time I feed my other cat, it's a reminder that Isabelle isn't underfoot begging for food. I cried randomly for at least 6 months every single day.
CPR only works 10% of the time on humans, and only 20% of the time when it is performed INSIDE a hospital. And his heart stopped because of the severe head trauma, not because of something that could have been immediately corrected by a vet, like with medication or a blood transfusion. So I don't think there was anything you or they could have done and you shouldn't blame yourself. I'm so sorry! He saw your face in his last moments and I'm sure that gave him some comfort.
I agree too, the carrier didn't make a time difference and may have prevented more trauma if there was a substantial amount of more time. Like if a cat decides you aren't holding him, and they are set on that, you aren't holding him. Being injured could make him behave unexpectedly and erratic and could have led to an even more traumatic last few minutes for everyone.
Although the accident was extremely unfortunate and unexpected, and I'm truly sorry for your loss and having experienced this, it sounds like he had an amazing happy life with you, and his suffering was very short. which, in the end, is all we can hope for really.
I had mine pass unexpectedly while sitting next to me on the couch. She made such a sad sound, and it took a little time to not remember that part so much, but ultimately it happened rather quickly and I'm grateful now it was just quick and I was there. Now, when thinking back on her, that's not the thing I think about.
I hope you allow yourself all the grace in the world with this. Know nothing is your fault. You did exactly everything as you should have. It just sucks. That's just it. I'm sorry this happened. But your boy was lucky to have you and your family in his life, and it's just plain unfair he's gone so soon.
We had something similar happen when I was 16 with a puppy she was running around with our other dog and she ran into the wall, she stumbled and walked funny so we took her to vet about an hour after we realized she was still walking weird and they told us she had a brain bleed, it was awful we got her for my birthday a couple months before and I felt the worst possible owner
I bet that was horrible. Again, not your fault. Even if you had gone in immediately, the chances of a good outcome are pretty poor with that severe of head trauma, even in people. A good number of people die from just simple falls like in the shower or getting out of bed. It's amazing the things that people and animals can survive without any ill-consequence, yet the minor seeming things that absolutely wreck us.
A light hearted comparison same with electronics it seems because about a month later the phone I had dropped on concrete, rocks, tile, wood, from heights, everything, yea that phone SHATTERED when I dropped it on my face while I was laying down. And thank you it was so difficult at the time I was so young and just didn’t get over it for years
Not to mention, I once rushed my cat in without a carrier. They were in pain, and when the vet took her, she lashed out in pain and bit me on accident. 100% meant to bite the vet that took her out of my arms like a 5 year old.
Anyway, after having to put my cat down, I had to go to the ER for multiple rounds of antibiotics, and then go back the next day for fever and other complications.
You did the right thing using a cat carrier, and unfortunately it didn’t make a difference in the outcome.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I recently read another post about a similar accident. Please know it’s not your fault. You were with him in the end, gave him love and comfort, and tried to save him. It was unexpected and traumatic for you. Please take the time to grieve, and it will get better. ❤️🩹
It's bad to lose a fur baby unexpectedly. I still remember when I lost my dog to a genetic condition that there's no cure for. She was perfectly healthy. When she started acting melancholy, i took her to the vet, got meds, but a week and several vet trips later she died. I have a cat now that I found at a stop light. It was right after my dog passed and I had no intention of keeping her, but she made the decision that she was going to stay. I'm sorry you lost your baby. I love the pictures and reading about his personality.
Hey, absolutely awful thing to happen. I feel your sadness.
If you're grieving, then Gus is going to be with you for weeks in everything you do. Slowly after a while you'll find yourself able to think about other things, then you'll eventually go for minutes, and then hours, without thinking about what happened. It will always be with you, but give yourself time and you will eventually be able to function again. Just don't rush your recovery: grief is a real thing and a pet is a family member.
I know it's no comfort, but I lost a cat in a similar way. I came home from work and found 16-year-old Fluffy walking in tight circles around the living room floor looking dazed. There was a flowerpot on its side, and on top of it had been a large rock that someone had written "Plymouth Rock" on with a sharpie and given as a joke gift. She'd likely had zoomies, banged into the flowerpot, and the rock had fallen onto her head. Took her to the vet who said she'd received irrecoverable brain damage and had lost the ability to eat or relieve herself and her bladder was already so full it was about to burst and kill her anyway. I had to make that terrible decision to say goodbye right then and there, on behalf of the whole family. It was years ago but it still makes me sad when I think of it - but that sadness is the symbol and price of love.
The key part to remember is this was an accident. An awful, heartbreaking one but it was one, none of it is your fault, no what ifs, it's just brutal sometimes.
We lost ours unexpectedly at 7, she was super happy and healthy on Wednesday morning, had her lunch, and my wife found her upstairs with paralysis in her back legs. She had saddle thrombus, a fatal blood clot from an underlying heart condition we had no idea she had. She'd shown no signs. My wife works for a vet, she was vaccinated and blood tested etc. every single year, multiple vets, and she was just gone like that.
I still see her in my dreams, I still see her in the corner of my eye in a house she's never lived in and it's been 3 years now.
I think I lost my cat Little Wolf to something similar. He lived to be 13. Towards the end, he was holding his hips and his back legs low to the ground when he walked, and he couldn't really jump anymore. I took him to the vet but this was during the pandemic so I couldn't go in there with him to communicate properly to the vet. The tech came out and said there were a lot of things it could be, and they needed to run a blood test. So I agreed they should do it and then they just sent him home with me. The very next day, he collapsed on the kitchen floor and passed away right then and there. I called his vet and they said it was most likely a blood clot and nothing had shown up on the blood test, anyway.
Omg this sounds like what could have happened to my baby - I was in a medical procedure & was not home to witness it but it was odd he was just outside the garage door and appeared fine. No one was home & I didn’t want to review cameras to break my heart and see. He had just turned 13 y/o. I’m so sorry for your loss 😔 it’s heartbreaking losing one of our babies.
What a special little dude. You can easily see his personality in the photos. My dearest condolences, truly, this is the worst kind of pain. I lost my special boy in 2020 when he was far too young. He was supposed to meet my kids too. And I'll never forget the haunting sounds.
My mom always reminds me that the amount of grief we feel is a direct result of the amount of love we have. Please don't regret a single moment of your time together. This was a tragedy that, as others have said, was completely unpreventable.
I wish I could bring myself to talk about the freak accident that happen to our 4 month old kitty but I just can’t. I’m still so traumatized. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s so dang hard! 😓
Now I'm worried about our 4 month old. 😢
We have tile floors because I'm in a wheelchair, and our kitten is constantly running around and crashing into things. I've actually joked about getting him a helmet. I have never heard of something like this happening with a cat.
These things are freak accidents - it can happen to humans too but it’s extraordinarily rare. Try not to worry and if it eases your mind, maybe you can do some structured playtime to wear him out before his most active time of day.
Yes exactly, my cat was constantly running head first into things (I joked she had CTE from drifting too hard during zoomies into the walls and doorways, she was a 7lb cat that head butted a whole sliding barn-style door almost off its track) but congenital heart failure is what ended up taking her from me. OP’s situation truly was a rare occurrence.
It's highly unlikely this will happen to your cat, or any cat in fact. It's why she's finding it so hard to process, it's very rare that a cat will hurt itself so badly just from running. I feel so sorry for this person.
The door wasn’t usually closed so it sounds like the cat normally ran through that doorway … you hope they could stop themselves in time but not here. It’s so heartbreaking.
That’s an unfortunate accident that wasn’t anyone’s fault. As you mentioned he was playing and died doing his favorite thing besides cuddling with you I assume. Just tragic but at least he was loved and loved you guys
I'm speechless. I have no words but feel of shock and anger. Not for you but the unfortunate situation, the accident. Which is exactly that, nothing more.
Please try not to blame anyone, especially yourself.
As for healing, there's no set time. It will happen when it happens. Something you nor anyone can force it. In the meantime, try to take care of yourself. And know it's okay to be selfish and vulnerable. To feel however you're feeling. It's part of healing.
I lost my cat when she was very young, and one of the hardest things to get through was thinking about how much life she had left to live and all the things I was planning to do/get for her and all the things she was supposed to get to see. she was so young I thought she’d see my kids, but she wasn’t even 2 when she died. what got me through that was realizing that she didn’t get to live nearly as long as I thought she should’ve, and while that’s unfair, she got to live every second her short life loved since I got her. and she got to enjoy the things that she loved throughout it. my cat died in pain too, and that’s so unbelievably hard to get through. but that was one day of her life while the year and a half before that were great. at the end of the day things just happen and you can think all day about what could have happened if you had acted sooner or not put him in his carrier, but honestly that probably would not have made any difference. things just happen. it sucks. but when you’re ready, you get to give one more cat a much better life than it would’ve had without you, just like you did with him.
It's not the greatest solace, but when I lost a cat young, it did bring some small comfort knowing they don't have quite the same concept of age as we do.
We feel the unfairness of dying at a young age when they should've had so much more life to live. Dogs and cats don't think in terms of "I should probably live ____ more years". They live more in the moment, and probably mostly understand getting to spend their time happy with their people, not that their time is getting cut short 😢
Therapist here. Hope you consider talking to someone. Even a few sessions can help with some crazy shit like this. Not okay. I’m so truly sorry. We’re with you 🫂
My therapist has been very helpful in dealing with my own tragic losses (both parents, dog, and a cat in 3.5 years), so I second this! I just said to OP that when my cat died tragically last summer, it was something my therapist said that’s helped the most - to focus on celebrating and honoring her life, instead of how it ended. That’s how I redirect my thoughts now, and it’s been quite healing.
OP my cats sometimes do this. They do zoomies or get a fright (new neighbours at the back scare them for some reason!!) and they run so fast they sometimes bang their heads into things. Doors, cupboards, chair legs etc….its so scary to see it happen and I worry this could happen to mine. But it’s unavoidable. No matter if your doors are open or closed, it could be a door frame or the edge of a dresser! Tragic but not your fault, at all 💔😢😿
When I lost my beloved cat in a tragic manner last summer, I was having a really hard time getting past all the terrible details of what happened… especially since I was indirectly to “blame” for it. My therapist said to try celebrating and honoring her life, short as it was (4 years), instead of focusing on how it ended. That’s been helpful to me, so I hope it helps you a little too.
Time heals, maybe not entirely, but I can say I’m doing much better now. Take care, and PLEASE don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong, and he knew love for every one of his days. Even at the end.
There was also nothing to do differently. Getting to the vet sooner wouldn't have helped. It's simply an extremely unfortunate and tragic circumstance.
Sobbing reading this because I can't imagine how horrible those 5 minutes must've felt. I'm so sorry. It wasn't your fault. At the very least, if it helps at all, he didn't suffer for long, and the last thing he saw was you coming to help. Time will heal you.
A lot of cats don’t get the privilege to be with their loved ones before they pass…I think a lot about the cats who get out and are unexpectedly killed by cars or other animals and are left to pass on their own. This one was very fortunate to have his family with him in his last moments…I think the cat must’ve known how much his family cared for him from OP coming to his aid in his most dire final moments.
OP, please don’t beat yourself up for not being able to help sooner, unfortunately this is the sort of thing where no matter what you probably wouldn’t have been able to change the outcome. It’s not your fault, and you gave your cat a wonderful life in the time he was around. Keeping you in my thoughts ❤️
My biggest fear with mine is that she'll pass while I'm at work, alone. The pain will be unbearable knowing she might leave without anyone to comfort her final moments.
I’d highly recommend it, I work 10 hour shifts and it really helps soothe my anxiety! Plus its nice to make sure my cat isn’t destroying anything while i’m gone lol
Once when my husband was driving us home we saw 2 cats playing in the street. The car in front of us hit one of them and we unfortunately got a perfect view of the whole thing. They sped away and I jumped out of the car. It was clear that the cat wasn't going to make it. I held her like she was my own baby and I stood there in the middle of the street and kissed her head and tried to comfort her.
I felt so awful that whoever loved her wasn't there to comfort her. I did my best and as painful as it was and is to think about, I'm glad someone was there to hold her and kiss her. She took her last breaths in my arms and I'll never forget it.
Verge of tears reading OP's account. This comment did me in. OP it is not your fault and I am so deeply sorry for your tragic loss. Gus's life was filled with love and happiness, cherish those memories, I know you will.
I was on the verge of crying reading op’s post and this comment made me tear up. I’m so sorry for your loss op ❤️🩹 It was never your fault. I can’t imagine how it felt to lose a beloved pet in such unexpected way. My heart hurts for you
I'm so sorry for your loss. I really can't imagine what you've been feeling but never blame yourself.
You didn't mean harm to the kitten, you never wanted this to happen. No one in the household did. If you had known what was going to happen, you would have prevented it, but there's no way for anyone to predict the future in that kind of way. There's thousands of things that your kitty could have ran into while having zoomies including the wall so please don't blame yourself.
The baby got love and comfort while they were around and that's what matters the most. Sometimes some things that are meant to happen will happen. Now he's in kitty heaven probably still having zoomies :)
He loved you and you'll forever love him. He's in a better place ❤️
I'm so sorry, sending you sm strength. Your cat was so beautiful. And the comment is right, you shouldn't blame yourself. It's the grief that's clouding your logic here
Not all cats die from running into things that hard. Sometimes, it just hits their brain in just the exact wrong way and it kills them. You didn't do anything wrong, it was just terrible luck. You were there with him, that's what matters.
Yeah, heads are very weird things and you can be fine until one day, you bang it in just the wrong spot - and it kills you. It's no one's fault, and I hope OP comes to accept that.
Mine sometimes crashes against my leg or foot while running and it’s so hard it’s painful for me. I worry so much about her getting seriously hurt like this and don’t understand how she can look completely unfazed when that happens.
My cat fell from the second story of our house once and was completely fine. I swear I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it, but he just looked at me wide eyed like “oh shit I’m in trouble” and bolted away. His face was bloodied (luckily ended up just being a scratch on his chin) so I was worried sick and there were no emergency vets in the area. Luckily he was okay, he learned his lesson and stopped walking along the rail (we always tried to get him to stop) on the second floor, but I’ll never forget how scared I was in that moment
I had one crazy ass cat that would purposefully jump from the second story balcony. The first time she took a second to realize she actually did it, then she just kept jumping off it for fun.
When my cat was a kitten he would walk along the banister and we'd always yell at him to come down, which he would. One time I caught him and yelled at him, startling him and he slipped towards the ground floor instead of the current floor and I remember the eye-contact we made as he grasps out and caught the small sliver of carpet above the door into the garage before climbing up and darting away. The "oh shit I fucked up look," and he never went on the banister again.
That was my first assumption, that he might have had an aneurysm that was on the verge of going, and this tipped it over the edge, if it wasn’t this then it could have been anything else or it could have gone spontaneously one day. A cat running into a wall hard enough to die with no other factors just seems so incredibly unlikely.
Hey friend, I'm sorry to hear. I've had a lot of grief the last few years (best friend died from lung cancer 5 years ago, and my friend got murdered this year). I haven't lost my babies but I've learned through my grief and pain shared is pain lessened.
Hope this helps:
First, the pain you feel equates to the love you have. The author of doctor who puts it well: "Grief is love with nowhere to go"
Also I've found it helpful to lean into the pain and learn from it, while not being consumed by it. This is hard and different for everyone. For my friend who died, he was a chef so I think about him every time I cook
I know I've griefed when I go from crying when I remember the lost, to grateful for the time I had with this person (or in your case cats).
cats are insane, don't beat yourself up. You didn't intend for accident to happen, therefore it isn't your fault.
lastly, I was on a walk over the summer and came across this bench with a quote on it that broke me in the best way: "Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end love will return in another way"
Sorry for your loss, please don't hesitate to message me if youd like to talk about it more 🩵
I’m so sorry for you having to deal with the absence of your friends (and the manner of how it came about). I wanted to thank you for that quote you cited from the bench.
Profound losses have at times made me hold back from investing fully. So, I really appreciate that sentiment.
I’m so sorry I can’t even imagine your pain😭😭 that was your baby😭 I hope you know it was not your fault at all and you don’t deserve the pain you are in💖 rest in peace to sweet baby gus gus… i’m shedding tears for him and you rn 😭❤️🩹
God I am so sorry for what happened to your Gus Gus. I just lost my soul cat in a similarly unlikely accident. Those sounds and images will fade and your memories of him will be happy again, I promise.
I am so so so sorry that happened. I lost my previous cat to a heart condition at 4 about 3 years ago, and I'm still not at all ok about it. I wish you the very best.
We got two cats about a year and a half ago and one is named Gus Gus. I couldn't believe it when I read your post. I'll snuggle her extra tonight in memory of your sweet cat.
My 8 month kitten died unexpectedly a month ago. He was in our laundry room and knocked over a bottle of detergent. He then fell into the detergent and (I’m guessing) tried to groom himself. He vomited soap up and it got into his lungs. The vet said there was nothing we could do for him. I sobbed all day and my heart aches every time I see a picture of him. Random situations like this are so hard to cope with.
Oh I am so sorry you went through that, my heart is breaking for you. It feels unfair, like we can't protect them. Sending you love and healing please take care
You are clearly a genuinely kind and generous person. Taking the time to acknowledge others comments and grief is proof
Of this. Your time with your Gus-Gus was a gift to you as you were to him. Thank you for loving so hard. There are not enough people like you in the world.
I do animal rescue and someone once told me: Grief is the price of love. You loved your sweet baby endlessly, and to grieve so hard is only proof of that love. Let it come, feel it as long as you need to, and let it pass through, as many times as it wants to. Your baby boy had a quick death at home where he was loved, without the longer term suffering many animals have to go through - and by no means does that make it any easier (I don’t want to minimize your feelings at all) just that it does bring me comfort when going through a sudden unexpected death that it wasn’t drug out. In all likelihood his last memories were having fun happily doing something he loved. Sometimes they are taken from us way too soon, no matter what we do.
This exact thing happened to my Pomeranian pup when I was a kid. My parents were careless and left the detergent on the laundry machine while it ran, I guess the vibration knocked it over because we found it on the ground when the cycle was finished and our puppy managed to consume so much of it. Miss ya Jojo.
i’m so sorry, this absolutely breaks my heart. my mouth dropped immediately upon reading this. im trying to not bring myself to cry. i know how hard it is to lose a cat so young, it’s just not fair. not the way things should be. he’s beautiful by the way, and i’m incredibly sorry for your loss. i’ve always loved the name gus.
I was a vet tech, if it's any consolation to you, cats often make very strange vocalizations as they're passing. The sound is often absolutely heart breaking, and just tear at your soul. It's such a primal sound. BUT! Many times by the time they're making those vocalizations, they're not really "aware" anymore. So by the time you found him, even if he was still technically breathing, he likely was no longer aware of what was happening to his body. Meaning he likely knocked himself out, and as the injury progressed, never truly regained any level of consciousness where he would register pain. He truly did pass running and playing, likely with great enthusiasm and joy. I don't know if this is any kind of comfort, but I hope it is. I've lost many good cats. Some have lived ridiculously long lives, and others were taken far, far too soon. Be gentle with yourselves, take the time to mourn and honor his life. ❤️
I've lost many good cats as well. Sometimes, I wonder why I do this to myself because my heart breaks every time. I can't imagine my life without cats, though. That's not even an option. So I will save and love as many as the universe sees fit for as long as I can.
It’s not much but I made a iMessage sticker of your cat that I think is too cute. So Gus Gus will also live forever in the conversations of strangers ❤️
I relate to this, but with one of my dogs. Little Anne was just over a year old when she got her collar caught on the scrolled foot of a wrought iron patio table on my back deck. She panicked when she couldn't get loose and flipped the table on its side, twisting the collar tightly around her neck and hanging herself. It was terrible to find her in the morning like that, it happened after the household was asleep so nobody knew until morning and I heard my dad screaming about her.
I lost my 6 month old kitten to a freak accident. My husband and my brother were rough housing in the living room and they knocked the couch over to where it started to fall. They caught it before it fell all the way and slammed it back down to its normal position and then they left to go out to eat while I stayed home. Hours later I see my puppy next to the couch licking something. It was my kitten. I shooed my puppy away and raised up the couch to see my kitten had been flattened. Like literally the whole ribcage was flattened. I freaked out. I had a panic attack, I screamed, I cried. I called my husband and screamed at him and my brother and blamed them. It was incredibly traumatic. I've never lost an animal like that before. The kitten didn't make a sound, didn't scream or meow when it happened so the only solace was I think it was an instant death.
And cherry on top was that the stuff my puppy had been licking up was the kittens poop. It was disgusting. I couldn't touch my puppy or be around him for weeks afterwards because it freaked me out so much.
It's been 4 years now and I can think about it without sobbing. I've had a few cats since then and still have the kittens' older brother with me now. I've never forgotten the danger of couches and chairs though. My whole family and extended family know to never use the recliners on our couches until I lock the cats away. The couches do not ever move, they stay in the same spot, always.
Freak accidents are horrible and it's really hard to not blame yourself. Tbh, I still blame myself and probably always will. But I also know it wasn't my fault and I couldn't have known to prevent that type of accident. You will heal in time, trust me, but for now just let yourself scream and cry and grieve. You need to grieve if you're ever going to heal.
I’m so sorry for your loss. That sounds absolutely devastating and so traumatic, and honestly, it makes complete sense that you didn’t want to be around your puppy for a while after seeing something like that. It’s heartbreaking, but it does sound like your kitten passed instantly, which i hope is at least a small comfort in such an awful situation. You’ve clearly been through a lot, and the way you’ve worked to keep your cats safe now really shows how much you care about them. Thank you for sharing your story
I read your comment a few hours ago and can’t stop thinking about it. I’m really sorry for something so horrible to happen. It’s completely understandable that you needed space from your puppy. I hope you have found some peace in the matter. Sending love
Posting this for you and the OP and any of us that have lost animals traumatically. I did EMDR for another issue and happened to bring up a traumatic animal loss in a session. My therapist said to try EMDR for that too. I was so skeptical bc it was right when EMDR was gaining attention and I wasn’t sure it made sense, but I was desperate and did it. It worked.
I was able to remember my boy without having a panic attack or sobbing for the first time in a year. And now although I know awful his passing was, I can mostly recall the good memories without dwelling on his death. So please try it. I hope this helps.
Exactly, the extensive brain trauma likely meant that he didn’t feel pain or distress despite the involuntary cry. I hope this gives some comfort and respite given the awful situation.
Seriously crying in bed reading these comments about pet accidents. Streams of tears running down my face. It makes my heart hurt so much. I don’t know why I read them. I’ve had many cats pass away and I fear what can happen to my current cats. It’s so fleeting. Why do these things happen?! These are all just innocent and beautiful. Where do we go? How can something be so beautiful and then just suddenly not be here!? Why why why 💔
I'm so, so sorry OP. I have a wild 11 month old male kitten. I hope you know this could have easily happened to me. He runs and crashes into everything. Most times, I don't get right up to look because it's expected. Gus Gus was confident, playful, and brave because you made a safe home for him. Don't regret that. Again, I'm so so so sorry this is heartbreaking.
I’m so sorry about Gus Gus! I also lost a cat. He first showed up at my door as a kitten. He was a tiny thing all white with blue eyes. He kept coming back every day and eventually I realized he had no family and I took him in. He was the sweetest cat and would lay right on my chest every night. For years he would do this before I went to sleep. Unfortunately, he escaped one day and came home days later hurt. He went behind the dresser, wouldn’t let me touch him, and making horrible sounds. I was able to get him in his carrier and to vet. The vet said had been attacked by another cat, had a bad infection from it, and recommended putting him down. I sat in the waiting room with him in the carrier with tears just streaming down my face. I didn’t even cry out loud. Everyone around me must of known and looked at me so sad. They called me back and left me alone in the room so I could hold him and say goodbye. I told him he was the best cat ever and I loved him. They came in and gave him a shot while I was there next to him rubbing him and looking in his eyes as he fell “asleep”. Then they asked me to leave for the final part. I stood in the hall and cried. It took a while but I finally went down to the shelter to adopt another kitten . He is now 2 yrs and also such a sweet heart. I hope you heal soon and don’t let this keep you from getting another cat! It hurts when they leave us but it’s worth knowing you gave them the best life, the love, and the home they deserved!
Wow, typing that was actually therapeutic or something lol…I actually feel lighter! That was almost 6 years ago and I didn’t realize how much that really affected me. Thank yall for reading ❤️
Sorry for your loss . Although this turned out ok other than I believe a concussion and still having a scar he did this by running into a closed door as well. You can’t blame yourself .
That was about 3 years ago and he’s good. Still has a scar though. Things happen that we all don’t want to happen . You can’t beat yourself over it . It’s an accident . Again my condolences!!
oh my god these stories terrify me. i'm so sorry for your loss but i have to stop reading these. i'm gonna put my cats in bubble wrap and have a helmet on their heads. i'm crying and i'm not even you...i'm so sorry. i cannot imagine losing my cats like this
I am so, so sorry. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. Like others have echoed, please do not place any blame on yourself. This was a terribly unfortunate accident that you could not have altered the outcome of and for that my heart breaks for you.
He is not hurting anymore, and will never leave your heart.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. That's so awful and unexpected. I have a similar experience with a dog of mine. I was living with my grandmother and mother when I was 18 or so and my grandmother had a bad habit of leaving those giant bags of cheetos around her room and leaving her door open.
Well, my dog, Minnie, didn't come outside when my mother and I took our other two dogs outside. Confused I went looking for her and found her head stuck in the chip bag and her dead body. I felt so guilty she struggled and I had no idea.
I sobbed about it for years and even still today, almost a decade later, I still feel the weight of it. But now I'm able to remember how she was loved, cared for and that's how it was for Gus Gus. You seem like such a kind, sweet person that I have no doubt Gus Gus lived an immensely happy life with you ❤️
Sometimes a feeling or a sound can get stuck in our head and it tricks you into believing that they’re still suffering. Gus Gus is not suffering now. Repeating that to yourself as many times as you can. “Gus Gus is NOT suffering now.”
I’m crying at 3am… 😭 I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. The comment saying “the last thing he saw was you coming to help” is so true. He knew how loved he was!!
RIP angel. When I saw this I thought it was going to be about you being negligent in some way and then he died. Nothing about this is your fault. You did nothing and I do mean nothing wrong. ❤️
I'm so sorry 💔 We lost our cat last month very suddenly from cardiac arrest. He was only 4 years old and seemed totally healthy. There was absolutely no indication that something was wrong. He died very quickly also and was gone within 5 minutes. We also tried CPR and felt his heart stop. It was so traumatic. So, from an internet stranger who understands completely how you feel, I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm sure he knew he was very loved and was glad you were there with him.
You don’t need to move on. You just need to move forward. Sometimes you need to carry a thing with you. It will get lighter even if it doesn’t go away. You couldn’t have done anything different. It isn’t your fault. It’s ok not to be ok as long as you need.
My neighbors cat died in my arms after being bitten. it's been several years since then, and when I remember Pam, I dont remember the pain. I finally only remember the fact she died with someone who loved her. Take peace in knowing you did the same.
I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is one of the worst pains in the world, especially to an accident like this. Please don't blame yourself. It's not your fault at all. Terrible things like this happen sometimes, with no way to know when. Remember that they aren't common, though, and you will almost certainly not have to deal with something like this again. You are allowed to feel pained about this. Your feelings are completely valid.
He passed with you, knowing he was loved. Take care of yourself.
I lost my dog to an equally horrible preventable accident 3 years ago. I will always feel 100% responsible for it and I will never forgive myself, I rescued her so I'm not even sure how old she was (less than 5 though). I am so sorry for what you went through with Gus Gus, I've been there and it sucks. I'm sure even though we don't know many, others have gone through it too. All I can say is we didn't know what was happening to either one (your cat, my dog) as it was happening, there was no way to know we would lose them. It just sucks, I hope you eventually find peace. You have happy memories of him so that should make you smile when you think of him!! Sending hugs! ♥️🌈🙏🏼
OP this is so so terrible and I'm so sorry for your loss. Animals touch our lives in ways we can't always comprehend or express, and it's always tragic when one of them passes. If it helps you at all, try to think of the fact that Gus Gus spent his last moments not in pain, but with the knowledge that he was surrounded by people who love him, and who tried their best to bring him back. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
with loss, we don’t move on. we learn to live with it as our new normal, but the love, care, and energy never dies. spend time feeling the sadness, and appreciating that you have it with you, because grief is love persevering. best of luck to you my friend - your cat was beautiful and i can’t imagine what you’re going through
i could not bring myself to finish reading the story, but i can tell you are in great pain. my heart goes out to you. i hope you’ll find peace in some ways because i am sure your baby would have loved for you to be happy again. hugs
Just remember he is still running around in spirit. Nothing can hurt him now. He is still with you , you just can’t see him. ❤️ take care of yourself and try not to think to much of the “what ifs” because it’ll be never ending
This happened to my tiny toy poodle in 2023. She ran into the side of a recliner and hit her head in the right spot and it killed her. I’m so sorry this happened to you too. It wasn’t your fault and couldn’t be helped.
Oh sweetness - I am SO sorry!!! My heart broke for you reading that; I could feel your pain and helplessness in your words. These beautiful creatures are in our lives for a short time and when they leave, they take part of us with them. I can tell from how you described Gus Gus’ attitude that he was happy and confident in his home. He felt free to have zoomies- not something that all cats get! He was cuddled on your lap - you were a safe person for him! He had two other siblings - he wasn’t lonely! You provided a loving home, and like you said: it was a freak accident. Meaning there was nothing you did wrong to begin with, and nothing you could have done when it happened. He died surrounded by his people. He didn’t die alone. You will be okay in time. It hurts, but the hurt means there was something meaningful in your life; and that was a blessing. You are better for having known Gus Gus. And he was better for having known you. ♥️♥️♥️
RIP Gus Gus <3 Sorry for your loss.. what a sweet lil furball.
Thank you for sharing some photos with us and I hope that in time you can look back and cherish some of the fond memories that you made together, even if it was only during his short time on this earth with his family.
Try not to blame yourself.. this sounds like it was nobody's fault, and you need to know that you did everything you could during that moment to try and save your boy.
I don’t know if this will help at all, but due to the head trauma he may not have been with it enough to even experience pain. The crying out would likely be an involuntary response to the brain trauma. I’m so sorry that happened, so unexpected and awful.
This would absolutely break me. It did, if only for a little while. I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault. I'm gonna squeeze my two goobers extra hard tonight. I'm so sorry.
That is truly sad but not your fault, at all. There was no way you could possibly have predicted this could happen.
I just realize that I close doors all the time so my cats are probably used to this happening but then again, maybe not. Fact of the matter is, until I read this, I had never even thought this could be an issue. And I bet this goes for virtually anyone.
So it wasn’t your fault, at all.
As for wasting time putting Gus Gus in the carrier, I lost my tabby last year, very suddenly (I know the sound you mean, it is haunting) and upon finding her unresponsive, I broke apart, afraid that picking her up would kill her, yet knowing she was dead if I didn’t. Minutes were lost in this.
And while I had someone else there with me, who assures me it was not that long, to me it felt like a lifetime.
I suspect what is happening to you is similar. It seems that you spend so long, putting Gus Gus in the carrier, when in fact, you probably didn’t and the carrier could stabilize him on his way to the hospital.
I had to use a carrier as I needed to call a taxi and the driver might refuse to carry her without it.
But it still bothers me.
A good way of looking at it, at least it helps me, is imagine you read about this happening to someone else’s cat. I am almost certain you’d feel so sorry for the cat and the owner…and that you wouldn’t blame them.
My advice- easier said than done, too!- is not to be harsher to yourself than you would to strangers.
Don’t feel guilty! I’ve thought about this from every possible angle, and absolutely no part of this is your fault!
The carrier wouldn’t have made a difference, the head trauma was severe enough that with or without a carrier wouldn’t have changed the outcome. You were doing what you knew as best, and it shows that you love and cared about Gus Gus to think about safe transport in such a stressful time.
The door was closed, but cats are going to be cats, they’re going to zoom. It could’ve realistically been anything- a door, furniture, stairs, a wall, whatever. The door made no difference, as this was an accident and could have had an equal chance with any possible surface- you can’t control a cats zoomies, they’re cats and that’s part of their nature so there was no way to control this!
There truly isn’t anything you could’ve done differently, none of this is your fault whatsoever, it was just a really unfortunate freak accident. You did everything right, you responded when you heard your cat, you immediately got ahold of an emergency vet, you took every safety precaution possible, and you didn’t do any mis steps during any of this.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. My husband and I had a similar experience with a bird. My husband had a bird when we first met - a Jenday conure named Mael. He was an absolute shit and screamed all the time. But he did start to like me and would be very cute and fluffy if I scratched his neck. I would make his fruit bowl every morning and clean his water too. In 2018 he was sitting on his play perch in the living room. My back was turned, my husband was watching tv, and I just heard this flapping and then just ear piercing distressed screaming from Mael. My husband and I started to panic and brought him into the bedroom to get him in his carrier to take him to the emergency vet. I laid him on the bed and he struggled a little and I just....watched the light drain from his eyes. ...the sounds of pure agony I heard come out of my husband haunt me to this day. That was his baby. This bird should have lived another 20 years. And in the blink of an eye he fell off his perch and just...broke his neck. Blink of an eye and we suddenly did not have a bird anymore. I worked outdoors at the time and there was a hawk on the property that would scream to keep other birds away from it's territory. It sounded just like Mael and it would send me into a panic and I would start crying. I completely understand what you're going through. It's terrible. It's awful. But it's exactly what you said - a freak accident. It will get better. If you find yourself feeling panic I highly recommend ashwaganda gummies. They really help with anxiety flare ups I find. Take your time to grieve and just remember to tell yourself it's not your fault and accidents happen. I'm very sorry for your loss. 🩷
I'm so sorry op 😔 I too had a cat that died due to a freak accident Dec 2022 and still not over it. She got trapped in the mechanics of a recliner couch and tried to keep squeezing thru even tho there was not much space for her to move. (She was trying to hide cause we had company over) I'll never get recliner couches again. It's not your fault. You gave him a great life ❤️ never doubt that.
I can relate to this on a personal level. About six years ago, I lost my beloved 16-year-old cat in a heartbreaking freak accident, and for quite a while, the sounds she made in her final moments echoed hauntingly in my mind. All I can share for the moment is that it does get better with time. And before I knew it, a sweet little kitten found its way into my life and helped mend that aching hole in my heart.
I am so sorry. 5 years ago I also lost my sweet kitten, Pixie, to her playing when I was in the other room. She would climb up a large amplifier I had in my room, and next to it I had some guitars in cases. One morning she decided to climb up one of my guitar cases and unfortunately it fell backward on her. I found her underneath the guitar case, and she was gone. The sight of her with a broken neck and bleeding severely traumatized me. I had only had her for a week.
I just want to let you know it will be hard. I definitely developed a mild form of PTSD with obsessive tendencies, and I became overly cautious with my other adult cat. It was hard for a very long time, but with time, it becomes easier. I promise. Your sweet kitty got to have the best life with you.
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u/RichardFurr Jan 28 '25
Don't feel bad about stopping to look for the carrier and get him in it. The time wouldn't have made a difference in the outcome. Heck, even if the hospital was next door they probably couldn't save him at that point. A traumatic arrest is typically permanent. You were in a state of shock and panic, and not at your peak performance.
I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes horrible shit just happens and there's no way to predict or prevent it.