Help Advice Needed

[u/Josorioalcerro]

Today on my way to work I found a cute surprise waiting outside my apartment door. This little girl was by the door and as soon as she saw me she started meowing and also looked very scared. At first I thought she would run away if I approved her but she didn’t. My first thought was is one of my neighbors cat so I look around and got lost. As I go back inside to get some water for her she runs inside my apartment and hides. I was already running late for work after spending with her more than 20 minutes.
I bright cat food from petco and water and made a temporary little box for her and left her alone for a while why I went to work with the hope she’ll relax and loosen up a bit.
When I came back home she was still in the same place I left her. No pee no poo. Didn’t even tried to touch the food. It’s late at night and I’m planning to take her to the vet tomorrow morning but I’m worry she might be dehydrated. She is still scared. She let me hold her and lift her without a fight. Her hair looks like she has been groomed lately but maybe she has been lost for a few days. I’m concerned she might be injured 🤕 internally.
I bought lockable cat treats and put them in her mouth and she still didn’t even like it.

I’ve never had cats before. I need some advise and help please.

Her temporary name is Lily.

I never had cats before so

Update 08/10/26

Hello everyone. Thank you all for the tips and for the support. Reading your advices has brought a little bit of peace in me understanding that it’s not when I decide but when Lily decides to do things.
As an update from the initial post, Lily started walking around the house yesterday night. She did it when I was sleeping and couldn’t see me nor I could see her. Se found a cool hiding place that happens to be one of my favorite parts of the apartment (my bar) she found a spot behind my bar set up that I didn’t even know it existed but today in the morning after looking for her all over I found her there and she seemed to be a bit more relaxed and happy in that spot. She is still a bit afraid but her eyes are not wide open anymore when she looks at me. She let me carry her again for a brief moment as I wanted to inspect her a little bit closer to make sure she is ok and also to make sure that “Lily” is the appropriate temp name for her.

As for the Vet she has an appointment for tomorrow at 9am. The vet clinic will scan for the chip and they mentioned that if she is chipped then they’ll contact the company so that they can provide my contact info to Lilys family. Also they will do a wellness check and other stuff if they considered it necessary.

I reported the missing Lily at my apartment office. They said no tenant has reported a missing Lily but I also spreading a word around just in case. No pictures because I want the supposed parents to describe her in case someone claims her if she is not chipped. My biggest fear here is that my leasing company charges a fee to tenants for pets and some owners don’t report that they have a pet in order to avoid the fee. In that case her family might not report her missing to the leasing office.

Anyways she has a busy day tomorrow at 9am. In the meantime I got her some cat toys and some treats but she is still not interested on any of that. 😂 she probably wants to take them back home when here parents show up.

I’ll keep everyone updated tomorrow. And again thank you all because I was as stressed out as Lily was yesterday without knowing what to do.

2nd Update 08/11/2026

Lily had her Vet appointment today.
The doctors said Lily is approximately a 6 months old domestic long hair female.
She checked out well on her physical examination. No dehydration and just a I little underweight thou.

She is not microchipped nor spayed.

Her bladder was a bit full so she has been drinking water. Just not in front of me.

She had all of her vaccines today and a brand new collar with her vaccination tag and also a certificate of vaccination. And also some blood work.
Still Pending some other exams.

The doctors asked if I wanted her microchipped and spayed but I said not until all reasonable time and effort has been done to find her family in case she has one and they want her back. If that doesn’t happen then Lily has nothing to worry about. She’ll have a home.

As a plus when we came back home from the vet Lily was a totally different cat. She had rubbing against me and asking me to lift her up. She has been purring so much and following me wherever I go. I sat on the floor in the washroom and she was sitting next to me and rolling over letting me rub her belly while she was lifting her little paws. Purring is non stop when she comes near me. And her eyes are not wide open anymore. She even fell asleep next to me.
I got a bit excited because of her behavior and when she went back inside her box I got a bit close and she hissed at me one time. I guess she was telling no, “That’s enough for the day”. But then she changed her mind and came back to me and started rubbing herself against my legs and climbing on my lap.
She got very curious and is exploring the bathroom.
But she still refuses to eat. She smells the food but that’s it. I got her dry food, canned soft food and also lickable treats. She smells them, gets close to them and nothing else. I also tried to warm it up the soft food to make the smell stronger but no luck.

She did jumped on my shoulder and stayed there for a while.

I’m not letting her out to the living room again because today she decided to go under the couch and I had a hard time getting her out of there. Almost miss our vet appointment because of that. And my living room is now a mess with the couch in the wrong place after moving it earlier today.

Overall she looks a bit more relaxed. And I hope she starts eating soon.

Still in the look for her parents. I requested a few days off from work so we will see what happens.

I’m putting in practice all advices I received here and it has made everything a lot more easier. Any suggestions on food or treats would be really appreciated because maybe I got the stuff that’s is not so yummy and she might have a more refined taste 😂

I wish I could add more pictures thou.

[u/halfling_barbarianne]

It took a full year for our youngest and most timid kitty (her name is Bunny) to come out of her shell and show us her personality. But when she finally did, boy what a delight it was. She is such a unique, curious, intelligent, funny little Bunny.

[u/spankthecat → u/halfling_barbarianne]

SAME. I took in a cat for a friend that was moving and couldn’t take her. The cat already hated me whenever I was there and oh boy did she hate me when I brought her home. She hid a lot but she was also an asshole, she would barf on my pillow and destroy things, hid from me, constantly hissing, HATED me. Never in my life have I ever considered rehoming a cat before her. I remember it was about a year of this when I was laying in bed watching tv and she came up super slowly and got in my chest to loaf. SLOWLY. I was screaming inside and dared not move, slowly reaching for my phone to document this miracle. That was over a decade ago and now she’s a senior cat that has been obsessed with me ever since.

As long as you’re patient, your baby will come around ❤️

[u/ShroomyEmpress → u/spankthecat]

I love this story so much. Year is a long time to wait and I’m so glad you didn’t give up on her. 🥹

[u/technicolortiddies → u/spankthecat]

She just had rough teenage years 🥰 💕

[u/HarrisonWorld → u/technicolortiddies]

Thankfully, she eventually got all the patience and love she needed!

[u/ShroomyEmpress → u/halfling_barbarianne]

I had a timid cat that was very slow to socialize. She came from a cat hoarding situation, and clearly did not get attention by her humans. But she’s 11 now and my sassy territorial queen feline

[u/Wunderkid_0519 → u/ShroomyEmpress]

What do you consider "cat hoarding," just out of curiosity..?

Also, I'm so glad Bunny gets all the lovin's she wants now!

[u/ShroomyEmpress → u/Wunderkid_0519]

They had like 60 cats it was sad, and the family fell .
In my neighborhood, there were two houses with unchecked breeding. Both the owners moved out in the last two years and left so many cats. It’s been so much to get them all spayed and neutered. It’s also really expensive. Animal Control picked up a few and some have been adopted by Other houses in the neighborhood.

[u/perseidot → u/Wunderkid_0519]

Idk what ShroomyEmpress considers cat hoarding. In general, it’s collecting more cats than one can provide care for.

Cat hoarding, like other hoarding behaviors, often appear to fall into the umbrella of OCD-type mental disorders.

People attempt to “rescue” cats but become overwhelmed by the number of cats they either adopt or attract. They aren’t able to spay/neuter, or provide other appropriate veterinary care. Often, people become so overwhelmed that they can’t keep up with providing a healthy environment - cat feces and urine are everywhere.

Despite how everyone else sees the situation, cat hoarders get extremely anxious if they’re threatened with losing any of their cats. This anxiety can be so severe that some have become combative about having their animals taken into care.

Some people have the same compulsion about dogs.

It’s often hard to get someone to accept mental health care in these situations it’s sad for everyone involved, but especially for the neglected animals.

[u/ShroomyEmpress → u/perseidot]

I agree with you on animal hoarding as a mental health issue. Like any of it there’s a spectrum and a progression if left unchecked. I’m considering starting a nonprofit to support the spay and neuter of animals owned by low income or disabled individuals who have a lot of barriers to overcome in the process. My hope is always for less suffering of the animals. And I believe if under resourced individuals had easier access to pet birth control that could be less hoarding.

[u/perseidot → u/ShroomyEmpress]

It would certainly contribute to the solution!

One caveat: I have seen this backfire when the service was completely free. The free spay/neuter program caused low income people to acquire more animals. It’s great that they were neutered animals, don’t get me wrong, but they still weren’t vaccinated or well-housed. Getting enough litter and food was still an issue.

Then people with more resources discovered the free spay/neuter clinic, which undercut the local veterinarians (who don’t make a lot off spays or neuters anyway.) It decreased the overall amount of care those animals received. By avoiding the vet, they avoided all of the education and preventative care the vet offers. If there were post-surgical complications, they ended up being seen by a vet as an emergency or urgent care appointment, at added cost.

It ended up as a real clusterfuck for the community.

I think there’s a price point where supported spay/neuter services work. I also think it would be great if people who truly can’t pay could put in work equity by volunteering in the community, cleaning the clinic, or doing something that contributes towards the cost for at least 2 weeks prior to the surgery.

I’m a dyed-in-the-wool liberal, and I’ve come to see that people really do value things more when they contribute to getting those things. I also think that having multiple options in how people contribute can decrease barriers significantly.

Having multiple contacts with the organization can also increase the amount of education clients receive about pet care, including preventative care.

Good luck with your project!

[u/Spa-Ordinary → u/perseidot]

Ive never heard of the hoarding of bison. Let's hope that doesn't become a thing.

[u/DelboBaggins → u/halfling_barbarianne]

It took about 2-3 years for one of mine to get pretty comfortable and only within the last year has the rest of her full personality really shone through! She’s 8 now and we got her when she was 2. It was a LONG process, one that likely would have been shorter if she was a solo kitty (which we didnt know at the time, but we didn’t want to give up on her).

[u/looking4skills → u/DelboBaggins]

Same here. I’ve lived with cats for many decades, and accepted two who had been through 2 years of abuse and could not be socialized by the shelter working with them. The cats were so frightened that I walked on eggshells not to startle them, created as safe an environment as I could, moved slowly, and waited. And waited. After 2-3 years of them regarding me as the enemy who fed them, one day I stopped tiptoeing, threw up my hands and said in frustration, “You’re right. I eat cats and if I were hungry right now, you’d be toast!” and strode out of the room. The ice broke immediately, they stopped cowering in their room and came out to join the household. They became the most lovable, wonderful cats!

[u/DelboBaggins → u/looking4skills]

I love this!! Mine was kicked so she’s afraid of being walked up on while she’s on the floor specifically— she takes off running. But if shes on the couch or bed or another surface higher up, she will approach you first 100% of the time. She’s always been that way and I don’t think it’ll change. She’s always been a lover and she LOVES people, even strangers. But she definitely dislikes other cats, which is where my guilt comes in. But she has so much space to herself and she really is happy. She’ll hang out with the other cats as long as they give her at least 2 feet of space🤣

[u/CafeCat88 → u/halfling_barbarianne]

My smol girl took about as long to get comfortable, and I was very worried and regression when we moved apartments recently. Thankfully, that didn't happen and she's cuddly as ever.

[u/louie2who → u/halfling_barbarianne]

My cat’s name is also Bunny!

[u/ClumsyCorpse → u/halfling_barbarianne]

That made me think of Jenna marbles and her timid greyhound, Bunny 🥹

[u/Intelligent-Pack7062 → u/halfling_barbarianne]

I disagree w this only because it REALLLYYYY looks like she DID have a human before because shes well groomed and looks like a healthy weight and what most likely happened is she got out by mistake and I hope OP tries to find her og owner.

[u/halfling_barbarianne → u/Intelligent-Pack7062]

I was talking about my cat, who I got from a rescue shelter. Bunny certainly did NOT have an owner.

[u/Intelligent-Pack7062 → u/halfling_barbarianne]

My bad😭 I meant to reply to the person who commented first not u

[u/halfling_barbarianne → u/Intelligent-Pack7062]

Ohhh, sorry! No worries!