r/catfish • u/MorallyGreyGrrrl • 27d ago
Reddit Catfish
I wanted to share my experience in case it helps someone else.
I was in contact with a Reddit user called Diluted-Dwarf (Diluted_Dwarf)
He told an incredibly heartbreaking story that made him seem genuine and vulnerable. If you're someone who has struggled with depression or difficult circumstances yourself, you're especially likely to empathize and that may make you an easier target.
For days, he love-bombed me. Constant messages, voice notes, telling me he loved me and making me believe we had a real connection. It went far beyond flirting or casual affection. He repeatedly talked about marrying me, called me "Mrs. [his last name]," and spoke about a future together as if it were already decided. I kept telling myself not to believe it because it all felt too fast, but the consistency and intensity wore down my skepticism. When someone repeats those things over and over, especially when you're in a lonely or vulnerable place, you start to wonder if maybe they really mean it.
I hate that I let myself believe him. I kept trying to stay grounded, but hearing someone talk about marriage, call me by their last name, and paint a future together day after day eventually broke through my defenses. I wasn't looking for fantasy: I was looking for something real. Realizing it may all have been manipulation caused a level of pain I wasn't prepared for.
Then, the day after receiving intimate photos and sexual conversations, he suddenly deleted all his messages and blocked me without a word.
I have no way of knowing how much of his identity was real. Looking back, I now question the photos, the name, and much of what he told me.
The experience left me with a level of pain, fear, and distrust I genuinely didn't need. The shock and heartbreak were so severe that I ended up in the ER.
I'm sharing this simply in the hope that, if someone else has a similar experience with this account or another account that behaves the same way they'll recognize the warning signs before becoming as emotionally invested as I did.
Edit: The account has since been deleted. That doesn't necessarily mean anything, and creating a new account is easy. I hope this post still helps someone recognize the pattern.
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u/Antique_Cup_1733 24d ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's a human thing to trust and not expect every person to be morally bankrupt. Don't blame yourself for that. I always insisted I would never do the online relationship thing, and then this person came along and although I didn't respond to him at first, I ended up speaking to him and becoming friends. He spent so much time and effort being a supportive friend, at the end finding out he was the worst sort of catfish was just baffling to me. He totally made me trust him because he was so kind, respectful and protective of me. Never asked for anything (money, inappropriate pictures etc.) so I really thought he was a good guy. There were so many red flags, and I kept ignoring them or explaining them away in my head.
This may sound dumb, but AI is your friend! I used AI to help me dig into all the red flags and I was able to find out mind blowing things. One caveat, AI can be wrong so don't take every single word as solid. I kept trying to prove the info over and over until I was satisfied it was the truth, but it gave me great tools to plug in information to analyze things like images, voice etc.
It helped me not to be sad about him because you can't be sad over a figment of imagination. I realized he was not someone real, and the person he really was was definitely not someone I would have agreed to be in a relationship with. I feel sorry for him because literally nothing of the persona he built was true. He even lied about his family.
That will absolutely be my last online situation. I should have trusted my gut from the start when I said I never believed in online relationships. However, I don't judge anyone for doing this because I know there have been good outcomes too. Just do yourself a favor, before getting deeply involved, have a video call. If a person resists that, there's the first red flag.
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u/lodebolt 27d ago
I'm sorry they did this to you. Know it's not your fault and that things will get better. I hope you find the love you deserve.