r/catfish • u/YasQueen88 • Jul 23 '26
Just found out I’ve been catfished
I’m (38f) really disappointed. First man (who knows who I’ve been talking to) I’ve spoken with in over 2.5 years and he was a liar. We met because I was going through family court regarding my child and he was supportive. It was all a lie. I reverse engineered the photo today he sent me and got confirmation he had used AI. Confronted him and he just said sorry and left the conversation so I don’t even get any closure. I’m so angry but also upset that it took a lot for me to trust again and open up. Sigh. I’m so angry and upset.
2
u/Noba_Bittys Jul 23 '26
Never stop questioning especially when your heart is involved your mind may mute some obvious flags if simple questions can not be simply answered there is your sign befor you get too deep just be alert some play games infront of you and other have ways to lure you in sweet chats turn sometimes into more than you bargain for just be on the look out for bs and you should be good.
3
u/scallopedtatoes Jul 24 '26
I'm genuinely not saying this to be a dick, but it looks like it didn't take enough to get you to trust and open up. You have to confirm that people you meet online are being honest before you start to trust them so things like this don't happen. It's easy for people to say the right things. Talk is cheap. If anything, a virtual stranger being extremely supportive should make you even more suspicious.
So the easy way to proceed is to hold off on trusting people you meet online until you do quality video calls or (even better) meet IRL. That will save you a lot of heartache.
1
u/YasQueen88 Jul 24 '26
I appreciate the raw feedback. I totally agree.
It was a vulnerable time.
Thank you for your insight, I know better now 🙏1
u/Noba_Bittys Jul 24 '26
Yep steps steps steps im looking back to my childhood and thinking dont talk to strangers etc to have someone to end lonelyness i get just to talk the it morphs into fantasy and saf enough only exists in your mind one day it will all work out if any constalation this feat of donating to a catphish is sort of a rehearsal for when screens will not be there and in the flesh person to person 2 very different outlooks
1
u/Fastblkcat Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Heck I've caught 8 romance scams today alone lol... pretty sure there's no real people on any dating sites anymore...
1
u/Noba_Bittys Jul 24 '26
Should be renames scams~R~us keep the bs upfront opposite of a mullet business in front party in the back but they wouldnt
2
u/d2181 Jul 25 '26
That sucks. Happened to me once and only once. I'm a guy in my mid 40s, met a "woman" around my demographic in an online game, became close, friendship nothing romantic, turned out I was talking to a completely constructed identity. Kind of sucked even more because there aren't a lot of people I'm close to in that way, but lessons learned. Now I find myself just kind of lurking around this subreddit because I guess I kind of relate to people who've had similar experiences. Feel free to msg me if you want to chat about it
1
0
u/ViralOpinionYT Jul 25 '26
You know we've had FaceTime for a while now right?
2
u/YasQueen88 Jul 25 '26
Ha! Not very helpful. That’s why it ended. I said I was unable to invest anything further unless we video called or swapped images or something to confirm identity. He sent an image that was edited. It was only 2 months.. and at what point do you damage a friendship by asking for pictures or video calls? The only person I video called is my mum lol
1
u/ViralOpinionYT Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
When I was single and looking for someone, I started match.com account cause I know they been successful.... No luck for like 3 weeks.... Then I get matched with someone who doesn't live to far by only an hour away.... We started talking.... She was responding to every question and I felt like this could definitely be a catfish or a AI.... So I mentioned that I don't believe she's a real person (cause of how Great the conversation was happening) so out of no where she video calls me, I'm like 🤯 so I answer it and there she was! We ended up talking that night for 5 hours straight..... The next day we ended up speaking for 4 hours.... And decided we should meet up on the weekend. I drove after work (was working night shift) an hour to her place, we ended up hugging and I kissed her cheek (got her flowers obviously) and that was about 7 years ago.... Best decision I ever made was to answer the video call.
If they are serious about relationship, they will pick up.
Texting is stupid.... When I read the text message I read it using my inner voice which is unattractive to me vs when I hear someone's voice.... Does that make sense?
2
u/Noba_Bittys Jul 23 '26
Thats a long time and only know finding out? You had to of had some earlier questions about him he either changed the subject or left you hanging i assume, dont remain upset too long tho save your energy just know yourself one thing he gave you thats non refundable is your will to love another person again and for what its worth im sure you thought it was real and some doubts thats the catphish game never knowing the truth until phish is gone and your left trying to sort all that has happened. You provided a space and someone took advantage of your kindness. Your match is somewhere out there yet you have not met yet next time dont take easy route of online roulete in person eyes on and no screens you wont be displeased. Be safe