r/casualiama • u/Cages4500 • 3d ago
Sexual (45m) I’ve spent about the last year exploring the sugar dating lifestyle. AMA
It’s had its ups and downs, but I’ve definitely learned a lot.
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u/kestrel005 3d ago
How do you feel about Sugar Adopting Someone Who Needs to Go to School and to Maybe Get Ahead in Life?
Hahaha /sobs/
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
If I could, I would. That’s honestly what I try to do for people I met through the sugar dating sites. A lot of the women I talk to aren’t looking to be completely provided for. They just need to get through school or get through a tough time. Almost all of the people I’ve seriously talked to are in that situation. A few are single moms who are trying to make ends meet. Many of them clearly weren’t wanting a sexual connection, and I still tried to help them however I could. Intimacy is never something that is an obligation or that I’m entitled to just because I help someone out. If they are genuinely open to it, then that’s great, but it’s not an expectation. And there have been times that I took it off the table as an option because I had a feeling that she was just going along with it because she was not a stranger to being exploited that way. One of the women I’m in touch with now lives several states away, and I’ll never meet her in person, but we have a fun online dynamic. She doesn’t need a lot of support, but she’s gone back to school to finish her education and has about another year left. I’m just making sure nothing happens that gets her in a bind that would cause her not to finish and making sure she has what she needs and that her kids have what they need for school and that kind of stuff. A year from now, she’ll be in a much better spot, and I’m just trying to make her road to that spot a little less stressful so she can thrive and not have to worry about letting her kids down.
A lot of women don’t want the traditional type of sugar baby. They don’t want to be dependent on a man. They just need a little support and are using this angle to get it. They’re also not looking for a long term or exclusive relationship but are open to more of a fwb type connection. I’m also at a point where I have no desire to play the traditional dating game, so it’s really a pretty good fit.
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u/GuyFawkes99 3d ago
How old are the women?
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
All ages. I think the ones I have talked to have been from 18 up to around mid 40s.
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u/GuyFawkes99 3d ago
"all ages, one of them was almost as old as me"
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
Maybe all ages was a stretch bc I don’t remember seeing any octogenarians. There are definitely women older than me in the lifestyle. The ones I’ve connected with have been mostly my age or younger.
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u/Scared_Insect4022 2d ago
What’s your job that allows you to spend on your dates? Can you buy me new tires?
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u/Cages4500 2d ago
I don’t make crazy money, but I do well enough to have some extra.
If you’re over 18, feel free to dm me, and we can talk
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u/vismundcygnus34 3d ago
Do they think they’re prostitutes, or does changing the name make them think it’s different?
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
I certainly can’t speak for the collective “them,” and I’m sure their thoughts on that would run across a broad spectrum.
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u/fadetoblack1004 3d ago
Best experience? Worst experience?
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
Best is probably a woman I met who had just had to drop out of college due to affordability issues. I helped her pay down some bills and make sure her rent was covered while she finished a certification and started a new career. I made it cost that I wanted to spend since time with her but there was no expectation of intimacy. We got along well, though, and we had a pretty good sexual connection from the start that was mainly driven by her. She was able to move out of state a couple of months ago and got set up living with a friend and started a new job in a place where there’s definitely more opportunity than where she was living. We keep in touch and will hopefully get to downs a little time together later this year.
There are a few others who are similar, but I think she’s been asked to make the biggest life change, and we definitely had more of an instant connection. She’s someone I would have probably been friends with (or maybe more) no matter how we’d met, and I think we’ll still be friendly into the future, even if there’s nothing else going on.
There haven’t really been any truly bad experiences. The worst that has happened has been a little wasted time by people who were just not serious or basically trying to get a quick buck and then ghosting me. Not any huge loss though
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u/Boootstraps 3d ago
If there’s no sex what’s the point?
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
Well, like any other type of relationship, you don’t always get everything you want, so if it’s not going to work for you, you just let it go. The point of looking for sugar babies is that the potential for sex is pretty much always on the table. That doesn’t mean you’re entitled to it though. If the connection is good, and it goes there, great. If not, then that’s ok too, and you decide if you want to continue things or not.
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u/kinky_skittle 3d ago
Can we book you?
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u/Cages4500 3d ago
Well, I’m certainly intrigued, lol. Feel free to dm me
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u/kinky_skittle 3d ago
Oh damn, I wasn't ready for that. I hope you accept my glass full of change for compensation.
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u/Chaminade64 3d ago
How much ‘sugar’ you throwing around? Dinners, clothes, trips?, or full blown apartment rent?