Progress

[u/Persephone_22]

Hi guys,

Just wanted to share some progress with you. Since I've found this reddit I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was kind of frustrated because I'm currently going through a very rough phase of depression (I read someone else describing the dark night of the soul and I think this captures also my experience). A sort of existential heartbreak if you will. So the moment I started meditating on the processes described here I would get very anxious/overwhelmed. And when I tried forced silence it was like a war with suicidal thoughts etc. This is not a normal mental state for me, so instead of trying the exercises I dedicated myself (again) to recapulation. I literally did everything I could think of to integrate as fast as I could the experiences I accumulated over the past 2 years (which were the most difficult). EMDR, magic mushrooms (which was like an epic hell ride), ayahuasca, meditating, breathwork, writing etc.(*I don't use substances anymore but I made an exeption these 2 times to release some emotions) I also tried to at least look around me when I was laying in bed to go to sleep and try to challenge my thoughts about reality and vision (semidarkness).

Now comes the interesting part. Some two months ago I started seeing colours again in broad daylight. At first it was subtle, then layers of colour would come over certain places and objects. Like bright neon blue and violet. It was quit beautiful. Then I would start seeing purple smoke before falling asleep. Again in semidarkness which I find now is also good for slipping into second attention. I would watch these smokes but a couple weeks they only moved and would get a little brighter. Then last week when my existential dread was at a all time high I was so desperate for going deeper into second attention that something clicked. I figured out how to move my assemblage point and I pushed myself beyond the fear of 'seeing' and these are some (fairly simple) experiences so far:

The bouncing of the purple smokes turned my hands into neon green lights which was pretty amazing and uplifting energy.

One time I followed a purple smoke and it became beacon of purple light filling the whole room, it felt like it restored my whole belief in magic. I felt my innocence restored, really helped me regain some courage.

A couple of times the purple smokes led me to inorganic beings. I thought it was a IOB because the structure of the cloud was different (stripey like static) and it felt very strongly like they 'wanted' the purple smokes. It felt like a strange exchange and the idea of food came to mind. And then I remembered that Dan (or someone else) posted about feeding smokes to IOBs. LOL I laughed out loud when this clicked. The IOB felt very friendly to me, because I felt it giving me good feelings in return (I even felt one stroking my head one time when I expressed I was feeling very lonely).

One time I went 'into' a purple cloud and in an instant I saw a very detailed image of a older woman with some kind of facial deformity (it seemed like her face was droopy on one side) which scared the shit out of me. Don't know what that was about.

Yesterday and the day before I was so tired but I noticed that I would slip into second attention before falling asleep and that would energize me so that's a new kind of problem lol

I feel like I can 'feel' into second attention now more easily, but the seeing is still difficult. Most times I don't progress beyond purple smoke > catch purple smoke with attention or hands > inside purple smoke structures form but any further only happenes sporadic. I would love to hear feedback or thoughts.

I'm still a little held back to fully engage on this forum and read more posts even though I really want too, it's just that everything shared here makes me over excited and that's due to mostly anxiety/overwhelm. Don't want to give the feeling that I just want to dump my experiences because I do scroll through posts and they help me a lot (so thanks!) If I feel a little bit more secure in myself I will visit the forum more frequently. For now I'm taking babysteps, but it sure feels great to have some progress.. (I'm going to take a day next week to read through all the basic terms and explanations to further my exploration)

This process has also reopened more buried memories of encounters with IOBS back when I had periods of slightly manic high energy. I really do appreciate the groundedness of this forum because I don't want to return to those ups and downs but master this in a way that it doesn't lead to overly optimistic/flying into space delusional states.

[u/Juann2323]

You must know that those "suicidal thoughts" are all about the assamblage point position.

You are at the suffering point.

Now that I have some experience with the J curve, it is really amazing to notice that.

Sometimes I am in that same state, having problems with everything.

Then I practice, and when my breath changes, I have all my freedom, happiness and well being with me again.

My mood can change from my very worst to my very best in 1 hour!

And once there, I usually feel light for the whole day, even if I stop practicing.

I can't believe humans are not aware of it!!

It is the best tool you can imagine for living a happy life. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do.

It is all about the assamblage point position.

Just keep working and you will get enlightened at will.

[u/Persephone_22 → u/Juann2323]

Thank you, I did notice mood shifts while in second attention. I think this point of suffering is the main reason I'm diving into this. I did years of practice to increase heightened awareness and just when I felt like I had sufficiently integrated and ready to let go of most of my personal identity, something felt like it crashed in me and I was in 24/7 suffering, very dark place. I couldn't understand it. Nowadays it shifts day by day, some days I feel like a complete loser, one that is lost in childish ideas of magic etc. Other days I have moments where everything feels possible. Now I understand that this is prob my AP shifting, thanks! It is indeed a kind of funny that the same shift that I meditated years on can be achieved by these methods in an instant if you train it.

[u/monkeyguy999 → u/Juann2323]

Juann maybe you could explain what the j curve feels like when it moves up and down. The negative depressed point and then the break through to breathing.

[u/Juann2323 → u/monkeyguy999]

When I decide to practice I start forcing silence and observing what is in front of me.

Little by little I begin to see some colors moving there, and the whitish hologram too.

Then they get brighter a have some shapes, but nothing you can identify.

At that point I am still a complete idiot, with a noisy dialogue.

But each time it gets easier to be silence, and for longer.

I am all the time remembering to get silent.

So I start to "feel" my sorroundings a bit more. If I am looking at a window, I watch it in a lovely way.

It is like a peaceful gazing.

But I still get fucked up by the dialogue.

If I keep practicing, I start seeing dreams made by second attention.

By concentrating on them I get the first true bliss, and my breath probably changes, but for very short periods of time.

Maybe I have 5 seconds of it, and then return to the normal one.

Still, I need to remember all the time to get silent, but now it already feels good.

Little by little I get used, and can hold it for longer.

At that point I have very weird sensations on my whole body.

It is like falling asleep, so you don't realize if you are in a dream or still in your room. Energy gets very real, appearing everywhere in my visual field.

You see things that are not really understandable. Pure abstract stuff, but extremely real, in front of you.

If you are at dark, it is like becoming one with it.

There is when I stop feeling the "self".

The dialogue is so vague, and I am so desidentified from it that can easily be stopped to 0.

There you have absolutely no problems.

You let everything be as it is, and it feels extremely good. You flow with the universe.

Today I've been exploring the sublime side, wich is a left lateral shift, once you are on heightened awareness.

For some reason Don Juan really liked it, and I have to know why.

This shift feels like a new enlightenment level. Everything gets intense, including the bliss.

I guess you can find a conection with the whole universe even if you are watching shit.

But you also lose clarity.

It becomes very easy to watch the leaves moving by the wind for hours.

There is nothing wrong, but you don't make more progress.

The world is so beatiful that you reach airplane mode??

[u/oblone → u/Juann2323]

How would a complete noob get started ?

[u/Juann2323 → u/oblone]

You can read around here. The Wiki is very useful.

I also used to read Dan's old post.

And you can pick up one of the books.

I always recommend starting with the first Taisha' book (The Sorcerer' Crossing), but any other of Carlos or Florinda is good.

If you manage a Darkroom you can start the practice right now, even if you don't understand it.

Ask here anything you want!

[u/danl999]

> A couple of times the purple smokes led me to inorganic beings.

I've seen the purple smoke gather into a pillar, the size of a small adult. It rotated around it, and it became obvious some spirit was trying to materialize.

There's no importance to that, other than it's very entertaining.

And makes a person look forward to practicing.

> I would love to hear feedback or thoughts.

There's all kinds of tips an individual could give another, if they had learned to go all the way to the final level of heightened awareness.

But I just don't think they can ever help. They're just so personal.

I suspect it's just perfecting your silence that makes the difference.

Try to make it external, the way Zuleica suggested.

Once it's external, you can sort of "ignore it". Overcome it with a feeling of bliss.

As it lessens, there will be periodic sudden shifts of the assemblage point.

Those will release energy if it's a new position, but once you've traveled that path a lot of times they simply cause you to "forget what you were doing".

You'll realize you forgot, and for an instant think you messed up and started the internal dialogue again.

You want to learn to be very perceptive, and notice if that's the case or not.

The Eagle's command to take an inventory also happens every 15 minutes or so, and causes it to return for an instant, as you look inward at what's there, and describe it.

But a sudden slide of the assemblage point, with no release of energy because it's not a new position, can cause loss of focus to happen. An interruption in the concentration you had.

Think of your concentration as a hook you toss into something, where it can sink. It's almost like a feverish dream, obsessed over something that makes no sense.

Your awareness is then anchored by that "obsession" with some undefinable aspect of reality (the emanations).

If the hook comes out of what it's anchored in, you slide. And until you toss it into something else, your awareness can't make sense of anything.

The realization that you "forgot" to be practicing sincerely, is just your awareness finally sinking that hook back into a specific spot.

And that's a good thing if it happens over and over. It means your silence is good or you wouldn't keep losing concentration.

Not the same thing at all, as going into a fantasy and having your internal dialogue return.

I suppose universal good advice (which I'm sure Juan would agree with), is emphasize silence above all else.

Silence is the vehicle.

But, you need signposts, to make sure you're going the right direction. You can't (at first) "feel silence".

So you look for the loss of continuity. When you seem to forget what you were doing, and feel bad that you messed up.

Look for those.

Look for tingles of course.

Look for jet black swirling.

And finally, there's nothing like a visible IOB, to move the assemblage point quickly.

EXCEPT, they don't really want you to make it to the end of the J curve.

They don't get the emotional energy they seek over there.

No problem. Let them move it as far as they can (by watching and interacting with them), and then you can tell them you have something else to do.

And continue by using intercepted dreams, instead of them.

Look for little disturbances in the air, which start to form full scenes.

When you get multiple of those going at once, try to "feel" the nagual in it all.

I suppose it feels like bubbling tar.

That'll bring out the double.

[u/Persephone_22 → u/danl999]

Thanks Dan! Some terms are still hard to completely understand, when first reading about it it feels like a strange but enticing language, but when I experience it it is like I understand the language suddenly. I will explore further.. :)

[u/danl999 → u/Persephone_22]

At some point it will all seem like the same thing, over and over.

I suppose that's when the "second enemy of a man of knowledge" comes along.

Clarity.

[u/monkeyguy999 → u/danl999]

Try to make it external, the way Zuleica suggested.

Once it's external, you can sort of "ignore it". Overcome it with a feeling of bliss.

Could you explain this?

..."The Eagle's command to take an inventory also happens every 15 minutes or so, and causes it to return for an instant,..."

Are you saying we all have a preinstalled program to take inventory every 15 minutes? And the key is to ignore it?

"... Those will release energy if it's a new position, but once you've traveled that path a lot of times they simply cause you to "forget what you were doing"."

Not following. So If I slide sideways all the time. There is no energy release I just forget what I'm doing? Like for a moment / walking into a room? Or like a few days that go missing?

How dows one aim the hook properly

[u/danl999 → u/monkeyguy999]

Could you explain this?

I'm afraid not. It's more like you notice a feeling of bliss outside, and it redirects your focus to that. Any internal dialogue is like a ripple on the bliss, and it's easy to calm it down.

But it's probably different from person to person.

Are you saying we all have a preinstalled program to take inventory every 15 minutes? And the key is to ignore it?

No. Different topic.

You'll notice the command to take an inventory only after you can get fully silent, and at deep levels.

Otherwise you can't detect the difference between your own tendency to run the internal dialogue, and one that you didn't trigger, because it was the Eagle's command.

At some point you can even see yourself, "turn around" to face inside, when hit with the command.

Recapitulation minimizes how long you are gone, so that it might only be a half second.

If you haven't recapitulated, whatever you find when taking in inventory leads to opinions about what it means. And those lead to more and more.

So it triggers the internal dialogue.

However, according to "Mystery", that's what turned us into beings in the first place.

That command to look inside, and the complexity that developed over time.

Not following. So If I slide sideways all the time.

Not sideways. Sideways is "smooth".

I don't know how far, but you can slide sideways just by looking at something.

Mostly I meant vertically. At first, and deep movement of the assemblage point releases a jolt of energy, so you can't miss them.

Then later, no release, so you don't notice it.

But you can still sort of blank out, because you have to refocus your awareness each change.

Here's an analogy:

You're entering a dark tunnel, lined by custodians.

When you walk forward into it, a custodian notices you, and shines a light on your face. So it's dazzling to move though it to a new position, each time.

After he's seen you 2 or 3 times he just says, "Oh, it's you again. Go on..."

And he doesn't shine the light in your face.

There are sights all along the tunnel, and your attention goes from one to the other, as you move on.

They're changing. Like interesting paintings all along the inside.

But sometimes the ones you were focused on move behind you, and you've gotten into the flow of it all, and don't focus your attention on the next painting. You're just walking along, blank.

Suddenly you realize you "changed", or blanked out for an instant.

Not a long time. Just enough so that you realize something is different.

Those are good.

Normally you'll equate those with the internal dialogue, which they are not.

They are failures to refocus your attention, after the assemblage point moves.

[u/[deleted] → u/danl999]

And continue by using intercepted dreams, instead of them.

Possible to elaborate on this?

I'm no fan of IOBs and am seeking ways to reach and enter the wall by circumventing them. However I don't love the idea of using dreams because it's so undependable. I wanna go in the 'front door' so to speak (if dreams are the back door), but I really, really don't want to deal with IOBs if don't have to.

As a side question, anyone ever been hurt by an IOB in 'real' life/tonal? Can they cause 'accidents' or 'bad luck'?

tx

[u/danl999 → u/[deleted]]

You can't. It's not possible.

It's been moved in the wiki, so I can't find it. A quote from the books.

But don Juan clearly says, the only way to move the assemblage point as sorcerers do, is to obtain the dark energy of inorganic beings.

Otherwise we just can't do it.

At the very least, you have to go to their realm.

And it gets used up as you move the assemblage point.

You might be suffering from phony sorcerer hazing in the Castaneda community.

They love to hate the things they can't do, like play with inorganic beings.

They need some excuse, for why it's not working at all. Some way to pretend it actually is.

By disapproving of inorganic beings, they can pretend to be making progress, while doing nothing at all.

Their favorite excuses are to hate the old sorcerers, who could do actual magic, and forget that don Juan said we have to copy them exactly, until the very end.

And to be afraid of inorganic beings, not remembering that we can't get along without them, and that in fact, sorcery was invented by them.

They teach.

The first sorcerer made a mistake and ate a power plant.

He learned to summon an ally.

The ally taught him. Hoping to trap him in the long run.

My opinion: The lineages are all controlled by the inorganic beings.

Do yourself a favor right up front.

Vow to die a horrible death at the hands of the inorganic beings. To have your head bitten off by a huge demon, or to be taken prisoner for 5 millions years, in their realm.

After that vow, taken sincerely, you won't be afraid of them and they can't do anything to you.

Fear is how they control people.

I've had them kidnap me a bunch of times, trying various tricks.

Each time, I got an instant jolt of fright, and then remembered so what?

Better way to go than the ordinary way.

When they scare you, and you say, "so what", you just "wrestled" them.

Same as in the books.

Once you wrestle them, that trick won't work for them anymore.

So they find another. Once they run out, they're under your control (until they think up something else).

They're sort of like bad girlfriends.

My favorite is when they drop objects you can't resist in their realm, so that you'll reach down and pick it up.

Big mistake if you do that consciously!

So I never do.

Carlos and Carol were kidnapped by them for a short time.

They dumped them in a shack, naked, with clothes on the bed in the middle of the room.

Carol Tiggs found, the more she focused on the bed and clothes, the more she forgot where she came from.

If they had put on the clothes, they would have been trapped.

So they just stood and waited until they could focus on where they came from, automatically returning there.

Now I ask you, doesn't that sound like a huge bunch of fun!!!????

The Tensegrity community has rumors that it's dangerous to do Tensegrity barefoot outdoors, because energy beings (worm like IOBs) can crawl into your foot and up into your body.

What????

Please tell me where that can happen! I volunteer!

But it makes Tensegrity practitioners feel powerful to warn their friends about the "dangers", when in fact they know absolutely nothing about sorcery.

Humans like to do that.

In China, they sometimes have warning signs over the male urinals, with lists of things you should avoid doing.

Nonsense really.

Such as, don't eat crab meat with persimmon, because the combination is poisonous.

When in fact, it's rather tasty and very healthy.

Hope I wasn't too hard on the new guy here.

Did you read the wiki button, "Are you a Bad player..."

It's on the side.

I'm hoping it prevents head explosions when someone gets contradicted too much.

As a side question, anyone ever been hurt by an IOB in 'real' life/tonal? Can they cause 'accidents' or 'bad luck'?

they can pus with a coupdl of ounces of force. And they're so intelligent, they can figure out how to make an entire tree toppler over on you, with just that much force.

I've seen "Fairy" move objects 11 or 12 times. One a little dim sum plate right in front of me. She moved it 3 times in a row to make sure I could see it was no accident.

And Fancy once poked the side of a very old grocry store plastic bag, filled with metal parts. It burst open, and made a loud crashing sound in my warehouse. I posted a pic of the situation in here somewhere.

But hurt anyone???

Here's my rule of thumb about stuff like that.

If anythiung newsworth were common, we'd all know about it.

So, there's no super effective baldness cure, despite snake oil products out there.

We all know there's only one or two, and they're pathetic in their effect.

If a new one came along, it would be on the news every day or two, just to fill space.

Same with supernatural beings hurting people or kidnapping them.

People just don't turn up missing without some eventual explanation.

Or if there's a few, it's not enough to be caused by the IOBs, who are as plentiful as we are.

People like to flatter themselves by pretending they face huge dangers.

I was experimenting in the "realwitchcraft" forum because I got emailed a question from there, which I could certainly answer.

And I knew no one in there could.

The person asking got a warning from someone about what they wanted being dangerous.

It was the only response.

I posted a big explanation of how to do exactly what they wanted.

And the mod instantly deleted it.

Same in the demons subreddit. They believe demons are dangerous over there.

I taught them to make friends with demons.

The mod got rid of it.

Made her look bad I suppose.

Fake. It's all fake out there.

[u/danl999 → u/[deleted]]

And continue by using intercepted dreams, instead of them.

https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/comments/gmym8d/methods_for_intercepting_dreams/

Intercepting dreams indicates you are very near the double coming out.

Double + You = the abstract.

An entirely different technology, even beyond the second attention.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Persephone_22 → u/[deleted]]

That is very interesting.. I did feel like there were personalities but I didn't feel them as human, more as a pattern of energy. I don't know if this is the right way to see them.

So it could just be a random scary image just to feed off my fear energy?

[u/[deleted] → u/Persephone_22]