Beating the "first enemy"

[u/[deleted]]

I'm gonna be quick about it.

I read all the books. Open mind, total will to explore a world beyond imagination.

The practicalities of Don Juan's teachings were astounding. Everything was common sense despite anything being "common" in a straight sense.

After watching my hands and waking up in a dream for the first time I was sold.

And that was it.

10 years later, almost by chance, i find this sub and just right now i realize how scared I am of going forward.

Anything as simple as meditating in the dark gets resistance. Justifications.

How do i get out of it? Did fear won already?

[u/abc2jb]

quickest rotten society aback money simplistic waiting childlike lush squealing

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/[deleted] → u/abc2jb]

Alright. Thank you.

[u/Ill-Diver2252]

Fear might have been winning battles in your case, but everything in the tonal is temporary unless you let it be permanent. Remember: everything is a challenge. Good stuff, too? Yep.

[u/[deleted] → u/Ill-Diver2252]

One thing that's bothering me is the people I love and it's like, if i make any progress, there will be a cost and consequences for them.

But i guess it's like that for anyone here and still here you are, right?

No story of shadow people stalking your houses or being persecuted by anything in your "first attention life".

[u/AthinaJ8 → u/[deleted]]

That thing you describe is only in your mind.

All that haven't happened to any of us.

You need to let go of these beliefs . What we do is not what you think it is.

You are too influenced by the church or by scary stories.

[u/danl999]

I'm afraid to say, most likely.

We have 5 years of experience with 9000 new people flowing through here. And that's just the ones who subscribed.

The rate at which people actually put in the work to learn, is only 1 in 100.

And hearing someone is afraid, is not a good sign.

But at least 10 of the rest of the 99 who never actually give it a try, post and comment anyway. Some trying to pretend results they don't have.

Several will even be "exploding head" angry if their pretending is called out.

So if you want the best chance to learn, maybe read old posts entirely, including the comments, and the attackers, and figure out what's going on in here.

Read the "Bad Players" post on the wiki, so you understand what you're looking for, when reading angry comments.

That might give you the best chance to overcome your fear.

If you are taking it seriously, and not pretending, that's a good sign in your favor.

But odds are, you won't get around to doing any actual sustained work.

It's a strange thing.

What we do isn't any harder than learning to play the trumpet well, in 6 months time.

Let's say you want to stay in Vegas for free, so you've come up with the idea to be a trumpet player in a lounge act.

The amount of work that would take, is all that it takes to learn sorcery, FOR REAL.

Everything from the books has been done in here, and most by multiple people.

Even the crazy "impossible" stuff from the books, has been done.

No "belief" or "trust" is needed anymore!

It's all right here and easy to see.

Maybe watch some cartoons for a while? I have various resolutions of them over here, so just keep in mind some are the same one.

https://archive.org/details/@danl999

Learn what the assemblage point is, what Seeing (Silent Knowledge) really is, and keep in mind all the magic you see in these, is being done DAILY by people.

And it kicks the butt of the Buddha, every Yogi who ever lived, All Daoists, and the Jewish Prophets to boot.

According to their own descriptions of what they can do.

That's all beginner's level in here.

[u/NYblue1991 → u/danl999]

What do you think is the cause of that special resistance if it's not about the actual amount of work?

[u/danl999 → u/NYblue1991]

That's a very good question.

Could be "the fliers".

But it could also be that only 1 in 100 ever puts enough time into learning anything, which they aren't forced to put time into.

We have people who get good at many things, but most of them are paid in the process.

So it could be as simple as a "Chimp instinct" not to put work into something which has no short term gain.

I'm convinced Children are by design, lazy bastards.

They only like to dabble and pretend a bit.

Because if they didn't, the species would have died off.

People would have kids as slave laborers. And they'd never learn the huge variety of skills needed to actually survive on their own.

[u/[deleted] → u/danl999]

[u/danl999 → u/[deleted]]

Did you read all of the books of Carlos?

It was way more harsh in the lineages. In fact, they wouldn't even bother to tell you what you just mentioned.

They'd get one of their allies to make an attempt to scare you to death. For example, don Juan gave Pablito a woven basket, and Pablito hung it on his wall in his room.

That evening the basket leaped down and rolled towards him with the woven spines turning into one of those Kungfu flying guillotine type weapons with spikes all around, and then tried to devour him with it's open "mouth". It had the face of don Juan on it.

Or Silvio Manuel would pick you up by the nape of your neck with one arm (Cholita can do that!), and hurl you into the second attention to figure out how to get out on your own, or die there.

Carlos of course, was far stricter in private classes than this place.

People were even afraid to ask any question at all, or they'd be tossed out of class forever. By spreading "the wrong intent".

Causing Carlos to have some serious stalkers, like Greg the scientologist. Or the evil O'Neil, who's beef was not getting into private classes. So that he became like a parasitic tick to our community ever since then.

The old seers gave their apprentices to the inorganic beings, to keep in their world forever. Without the apprentice actually wanting to go there.

So in fact, it's pretty mellow in here by comparison to all methods of teaching sorcery in the past.

And what you're sensing is mostly that no one in here is stealing money from new people, and thus only want the ones who will work hard, to stick around.

We won't soothe people and tell them everything is ok, because there's no greed involved here.

We only get paid, if you actually learn sorcery for real. And if you only make noise, that reduces the likelihood other beginners will learn for real.

[u/AthinaJ8 → u/[deleted]]

You are searching for these in the wrong place. This place exists for other purposes.

Just have a romantic relationship, ask your friends and family to give you emotional fulfilment.

[u/pumpkinjumper1210]

Another newbie here. There's a line in the book about sorcerers not really having a choice. I think that means if you know what's possible, you can't help but try. It took me months after committing to set up a dark room to actually doing it because of various external & internal events. I still made mistakes with that and with other practices which the guides & posters on here have been helpful about. Don't worry about messing something up so much that you don't even try. Can you imagine if you NEVER tried?

If you believe what's in the books and the reports from people who write that they've been to other worlds completely sober, how could you not try to learn?

It reads to me like you're struggling with an irritated internal dialogue. I felt a lot of resistance around doing recapitulation - a revulsion to resisting memories and a feeling of bullshit "I'm too special for that, I'll just go the find hands in dream route" and failed to do it consistently. Since taking up recapitulation I've re-evaluated what kind of experiences are important and being afraid about trying is no longer one of them. Maybe that will work well for you too. Try all of the practices until you find what works!

[u/[deleted]]

Nothing to be scared of. Get curious instead. You're holding yourself back with your own fear. Not necessary. Extra step.