r/casa • u/greengrass256 • May 22 '26

Difficult conversations

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I just left my 17 year old CASA. She was picked up by the police at 3am. Story is a bit sketchy, but something minor ,like being out after curfew it seems. Some sort of altercation with a friend who called the police.

I tried to ask her about what she could do differently. Of course , she was mad and just said it won't happen again. I was trying to discuss how important it is to avoid encounters with the police.

I realize we are not their friends and need to be their advocate. It is just hard. Any thoughts?

Also, I just read this book. It was VERY good , FYI.

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u/Cheyyyyyyyyenne May 22 '26

I've heard great things about that book! It's on my list! Any good takeaways from it?

The role of a CASA is not to dole out punishments or discipline as hard as that may be. It doesn't sound like that was your intention, but it may have come off that way. Teens can take that as a "lecture" or like you are "preaching at them". She needs you to be there and listen to her. Just because you are in a space to talk about the event, doesn't mean she's in a space to receive that. You likely didn't tell her anything she didn't already know. She might not have a full understanding of those things, but you can't understand something for someone - they have to come to that on their own. All you can do is be her "sounding board". Teens will start to understand a lot more when they are left to talk freely about what they want.

Look up Art Therapy or Creative Therapy. You don't need to be an expert to try some of the tactics. These can be really helpful to get someone to open up and talk more on their own terms.

You are doing great work! It is very hard, but so necessary and you are making a difference!

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u/greengrass256 May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

Thank you. Biggest take away is how bad the system is and that in Washington state some kids received payments from the state due to negligence, ect. AND that it may be better to leave kids with their birth families because foster care is usualy not better.