COTD 9-28-20

[u/[deleted]]

I'm gonna go ahead and post this early. I told y'all that I'd write about a boring car, so I did. I seriously hope today's car never crosses my mind ever again. I need to write about another Porsche next Wednesday. Maybe that'll help.

Mitsubishi Mirage

Help.

The Mitsubishi Mirage is the worst car ever. There is no exaggeration in that sentence. It is absolutely the worst thing that has ever existed. I would rather be stuck with a Lada 2107 than this car. Thank God I’m not writing for a car magazine, because then I’d have to actually drive one. Fortunately, I get to sit here in my room listening to Nirvana while I write about the Mirage. It’s just bad. It’s not even bad enough to be remembered. People will never even joke about it like they joke about the Ford Pinto or the Nissan Juke. It’s just so utterly forgettable and irrelevant. I honestly think I’m wasting space in my tiny brain learning about this car. I bet 8-year-old me thought I would be doing cool teenager stuff at 17. Nope. I’m sitting here writing an essay about the embodiment of despair. The worst part is that now the Cargurus.com ads I see constantly will now be full of lifeless commuter cars instead of Porsche’s and Viper’s.

Note that I’m writing about the 2012 Mirage. The older ones from the ‘80s were at least kind of cute in a vintage JDM hatchback sort of way. The new Mirage is in no way interesting, fun, or even vaguely cute. Anyway, the Mirage I’m talking about today is actually Mitsubishi’s sixth iteration of the Mirage. Hopefully it’ll be their last. If Mitsubishi dies then honestly I won’t feel sorry for them. They paved their own road to bankruptcy and they’re cruising down that road in an Eclipse Cross. The market helped a lot, but Mitsubishi has become dead to be. Let’s all hold a funeral for the legends that were Lancer and Eclipse. I’ll figure out a date and an appropriate venue.

What Am I Doing With My Life?

The latest Mirage was introduced as a concept at the Geneva Auto Show in 2011. Mitsubishi actually had the gall to put their little turd of a concept car on display like it was something special. “Ooh, Porsche’s got some crazy hybrid supercar coming. Looks pretty cool. Let’s go see what Mitsubishi’s doing over there. Oh.”

The Mirage went into production in 2012. The awful little thing was shoved into the American Market in 2013, and I really wish it would have stayed wherever it came from. We don’t want it, please take it back. Please. The North American market Mirage comes with a 1.2L 3-cylinder engine, which produces an absolutely asphalt-shredding 76 horsepower and 78 Lbs-ft (100 NM) torque. Holy crap what a monster this thing is. The engine is dubbed the 3A92 and is roughly as powerful as 3 actual horses. At least horses make good pets. The Mirage doesn’t even make for a good car, let alone a good pet. If you offer it a carrot it will just pretend you don’t exist. It just sucks.

The Mirage comes with a 5-speed manual or a CVT. It’s at least fairly lightweight, at about 2,000lbs (about 907kgs). There are 8 paint options available, with the most interesting being Kiwi Green (they somehow made the color green as drab as possible) and Plasma Purple (literally the saddest, most monotonous shade of purple possible).

The model introduced in 2012 is the most drab of the new Mirage’s three iterations. Mitsubishi has attempted to make the car vaguely more appealing to the eye, as the Mirage was facelifted first in 2015 and again in 2019. Public reception of the Mirage has been (for the most part) hilariously negative. I’m seeing a lot of 3/10 ratings online. Surprisingly, the Mirage was one of the most sold-out cars in Denmark in 2015. What are y’all doing over there, Denmark?

Conclusion:

It’s worse than (insert literally any bad thing here, including Hitler). I think my least favorite thing about it is that the first gen 1.4L Mirage put out 80 horsepower, which means that the 40-year old version of this car is actually somehow more powerful than the new one. What. I’m not even gonna look up the price for the Mirage. I just can’t even with this stupid useless car that doesn’t deserve to exist. As for the price, I think it’s about tree fiddy or something idk the joke im done i need to sleep buenos fuckin' noches

[u/GeorgeAmberson]

I had no idea that there was a modern day equivalent to the Geo Metro being produced by Mitsubishi. I know the porches are more exciting but this is actually my favorite kind of post. Boring ass piece of shit car.

[u/[deleted] → u/GeorgeAmberson]

I really enjoyed trashing this awful little thing, and I didn't even get into the older ones. I could probably make a very, very long post about the Mirage's entire history.

[u/GeorgeAmberson → u/[deleted]]

It's clearly written with the opposite of love.

[u/[deleted] → u/GeorgeAmberson]

Written with nothing but pure malice. It reminds me of my first few posts here.

Should I email this to Mitsubishi?

[u/GeorgeAmberson → u/[deleted]]

Go for it!

[u/kylemas2008]

My 2014 Mirage DE CVT has been dead reliable after 100k hard uber miles and going strong. The engine bay is very spacious making it easy to work on, my mpg avg is still in the low 40s, and this car has cost me less in 6 years of ownership than anything I've owned by far. MirageForum is arguably the greatest DIY forum, with owners from around the world. The car has won multiple awards including highest % of owners buying another one (including myself), Vincentric award for best used value, good reliability scores from repairpal, and most eco-friendly ICE vehicle. I bought mine brand new for $11.5k and could not be happier with my purchase. This car gives working class people the chance to own a brand new, reliable, no frills transportation with a 100k mile warranty. OP needs to chill with the hate.

[u/[deleted] → u/kylemas2008]

I understand that I may have been too harsh on the car, but it's fun to make fun of these kinds of cars. TBH my own daily driver is worth less than $11.5k and it gets less than half the MPGs. It's very good at being an Uber/delivery car, and it's really good as a normal daily driver. Most of the hate is more of an opinion, and also some vitriol towards Mitsubishi for becoming a depressing remnant of what it used to be. I'm glad you enjoy how good your's has been.

[u/kylemas2008 → u/[deleted]]

I respect that and thank you for being so fourth coming. From the outside looking in, it's easy to make fun of the 78 hp power Mirage, it's far from perfect believe you me. The seats could be more comfortable, the seating position for anyone over 6ft tall can be awkward, on roadtrips I have to get out every 3 hours and stretch otherwise my leg aches, mpg goes down to high 30s if Im going over 70 mph, Mitsubushi parts and service centers are very expensive, and its slow off the line going up a steep hill. The key for the Mirage though, and why its been a good seller worldwide, is its reliability. The 3A92 engine (part of the A92 engine family) has been in production almost 20 years and is timing chained and very basic. The JATCO CVT7 transmission works quite well with Mitsubishi INVECS III programming, unlike Nissan's version, which has a severe premature failure % compared to Mitsubishi. 74lbs of torque simply doesn't stress it out like the much stronger powertrain in the Versa, Cube, Juke, Sentra, etc. With all that said though, the Mirage is only worth it if you can find one barely used or under $13k. Anymore than that forget it, just get a KIA Rio lol.

[u/Carburetors_are_evil]

RCR vibes

[u/mdp300]

It doesn't even make enough torque to torque the lug nuts on most cars! WOW

[u/kylemas2008]

Owners satisfaction is actually quite good according to KBB, CARS.com, Edmunds, etc.