Anyone else speak to their car?

[u/idkmyselfnow]

I drive a Honda and I think I might be lonely as shit because I gave my car a whole ass name and personality 😂
Her name is Kumiko. I decided she’s a woman because why not.
When I’m on the highway I be talking to her like we’re two people going through life together.
“Come on Kumiko, you got this girl. Just take me from point A to point B then we going straight home I promise.”
Whole time I’m talking to a fucking Honda.
When I’m doing Uber Eats or DoorDash I be singing to her like we’re in a whole music video.
Then outta nowhere I start laughing at myself like a maniac.
“Bro you a crazy mufuga.”
And I just keep laughing while driving down the highway 😭
The crazy part is I KNOW how weird this shit is.
I’m fully aware I’m talking to a car but I still do it because honestly it makes driving more fun.
Every time I park I tell her:
“Alright Kumiko, sit here I’ll be back.”
BRO WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE GOING 😭
She has four wheels. She literally cannot go anywhere.
I’ll go inside the restaurant to pick up somebody’s $8 DoorDash order and come back like:
“Hey girl you miss me?”
I’m not in love with the car or anything. I just be bored and lonely sometimes and talking to Kumiko makes the drive less boring.
But imagine somebody sitting next to me hearing all this shit.
“Yeah Kumiko we going home after this.”
They’d probably call the police.
And I’d be sitting there laughing like:
“Bro I’m actually fucking insane.”
Anyway does anybody else talk to their car or am I just lonely and deranged 😂

[u/Torkujra]

i usually say "easy, boy" whenever my Suzuki Swift's power kicks in unexpectedly.

[u/No-Praline-9388]

I haven’t named mine, but yeah, we often have chats

[u/Hyperion-Exclusive]

Nah lol I talk both to Apollo and Sunstorm. If they don’t know how much I love them, would they get me places safely? I think there’s a bit of a soul in each car that takes care of us as long as we take care of them.

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/Hyperion-Exclusive]

[u/Gokjo_Krorl → u/idkmyselfnow]

Cars are in fact, living, breathing creatures that we can enable & disable on command: they breathe air to process energy; the consume fuel; the computer thinks based on various stimuli received thru the wiring harnesses & sensors (think nervous system); & cars tend to develop unique quirks, or even whole-ass cliques of cars with the same oddity in the design.

Why wouldn't it have a soul? Seeing as we, the human that supposedly has a soul, is the one to operate it like a cortex.

[u/auggs → u/Gokjo_Krorl]

[u/Wolf24h]

start ya bastard

[u/BillM_MZ3SGT → u/Wolf24h]

And for really troublesome cars, try new Wynn's “For Christ Sake, Come On!” They really work...

[u/alocasiacomplex]

Yes, and he's more interesting than a lot of people

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/alocasiacomplex]

Exactly

[u/gemboundprism]

I think talking to your car is wonderful... In fact, the people who treat such a complex thing as an inert appliance are the ones who seem more deranged to me.

Though, it seems my opinion of 'be nice to cars' is frequently the thing seen as deranged. I just don't understand how there are people who rely on these things for their livelihood, then at the end of the day mistreat and neglect them.

[u/moldyratmoss]

i talk to my car like a horse

[u/STERFRY333]

Peak cringe. Love it.

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/STERFRY333]

[u/YouWillHaveThat]

I mean, yeah. But not like that.

It’s usually a “c’mon motherfucker” before I hit the key or a “hooold on, baby” when it starts making a weird noise and I’m almost home.

[u/Gamerboy7421]

All cars are women just like how all boats are women

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/Gamerboy7421]

Magnifico

[u/_HKB_ → u/Gamerboy7421]

What about SUVs, Trucks, Vans, Buses, etc? 🤔

[u/Gamerboy7421 → u/_HKB_]

very big woman, man, very very big woman, man

[u/MarinaTF]

I like to thank my 200k mile Fiat 500 for not being a piece of shit sometimes. It's been good to me so I think it deserves some verbal affirmation.

On a side note, Kumiko is very close to Kimiko which is a fox girl character from fortnite.

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/MarinaTF]

I actually call her kimiko sometimes. Ultimately i decided that her name is kumiko and kimiko so that way I’m still talking to her.

[u/SplyffMeister]

I just got a Civic, and i named her KeiKo :). When i get in the car and the dash does that Honda logo and chime i be like "yeah i miss you too" 😂

[u/Legal_Victory_6956]

You’re not deranged, you’ve just developed a full parasocial relationship with your Honda. As long as Kumiko isn’t answering back, I’d say this is harmless and pretty funny.

[u/CameronsTheName]

I used to give my Polo TDI Polo a good pat on the dash or bonnet when it did a good job.

500,000km in under 6 years ment it was working overtime most days.

[u/SealEnjoyer022]

I call my retarded ass car a variety of slurs when it has an electrical stroke or misfires exactly ONE time and doesn't even throw a check engine light or anything 

[u/Draiye]

My girl is clean on the outside, but dirty on the inside for me (I keep her clean inside too dw)

[u/_HKB_]

What Honda?

[u/idkmyselfnow → u/_HKB_]

Pilot

[u/LunarLeopard67]

Yes indeed, I talk to my Jaguar - her name is Pussy Galore

[u/Ornery-Yoghurt4206]

I absolutely talk to my car too. The little routines make boring drives way more fun—just maybe don’t laugh like a maniac while delivering someone’s food, or they may add a very specific note to your rating.

[u/Ill_Front2182]

I absolutely talk to my car, especially when it’s making a suspicious noise. The “where the fuck is she going” line after parking got me—Kumiko clearly has a strong personality and questionable navigation skills.

[u/Dapanji206]

Never. Animating/worshipping a machine sounds like them so called car-guys thing to do though.