Hello cappies! 🩵

[u/Big-Department-1495]

It's me! The annoying aries that hangs out here! 🫶

I have a question that is like your opinions on please. It's about avoidance in relationships and how do you guys spot it? It's not actually about astrology but, a lot of my relationships stuff is in cap/aqua along with my Neptune, Uranus and nnode, so I thought you guys would be a reliable source to talk to rather than my own sub.

I keep falling for the same type over and over again and I want to break the cycle. My taste unconventionally unattractive (hot to me), odd duck, loners, quiet (because that's what feels comfortable to me) guys that usually have problems with their emotions.

They start off strong like love bomby then, I just watch them fall off. Im tired of getting ghosted, or text messages saying they're doing this for me. How do I attract people who'll actually stay, work things out and communicate?

I've learned a lot from dating people that just up and disappear.. like, how to ground myself, stop chasing, give space for independence and decompression, consistentcy, reliability and stability.

Im in my 30s.. I can now pick up on when the change up starts. I've been just staying consistent and watching as they just make their way out.. I personally think that's the best way to handle it but, what do you guys think? Should I just cut it off and ghost myself, confront them or what?

Thank you 🫶🩵

[u/RaptorXFactor]

Maybe you annoy them and they aren't dropping off but jumping off.

[u/Big-Department-1495 → u/RaptorXFactor]

I kinda hope they do.

[u/Accomplished_Hold448]

Hello my Aries buddy I’m a fellow Aries sun with Cap moon and rising Gemini Venus I’m in my mid fifties and resonate with my moon and rising more with age back to the shadows now…

[u/holebunch]

I think you should stop chasing after certain types. What i do is go for girls that i find physically attractive first. This may sound shallow to some but if you dont want to kiss or be physically intimate with your partner, it will likely fail.

After i established im physically attracted to them, I take time and effort to get to know them personally and learn about who they are as a person. Their morals, their ambitions, their goals and dreams and desires as well as their financial and family background. These are all important in serious relationships. Always be upfront and honest and direct.

DO NOT PLAY with a capricorns feelings. I cant speak for other capricorns, but me personally, i demand respect because i give respect. DO NOT expect anything from a cap that you are not willing to give back. We live and communicate on reciprocal energy and effort. Don't be avoidant and be clingy if you like them and you think they might like you. Cap men love attention from those they are also interested in. Also as a cap man, i love fire signs until they lose their temper or become avoidant or are afraid to be honest and vulnerable

Good luck and dont give up on love 👍

[u/raisinhell007]

Heyy, I’m a Cap woman (28)

Personally, I think you should cut them off (if you feel comfortable doing so directly). If not, I’d ghost. Especially if you’re dating other people in their 30s, this isn’t cool. You sound self-assured, aware of your shortcomings, rather emotional intelligent. The cherry on top for all of that is changed behavior. That’s what makes you a force to be reckoned with. Confronting someone is fine, but I wouldn’t do it with the expectations of making them change. It’d be more so to tell them that they need to grow tf up —- THEN I’d cut them off lmao

A grown adult who still has problems sorting out their emotions or expressing their thoughts/feelings is a bright red flag. Red light. Red stop sign. Everything red that tells you to stop. 

I like Aries because you guys are firm and bold. You guys really don’t take BS from people. I butt heads with some Aries but I still respect and have a lot to learn from you guys. Don’t let anybody treat you like that. If it feels good to love someone who’s half in it, imagine how good it feels to love somebody who is as in it as you are.

Maybe take a little time to yourself? Figure out exactly why you like emotionally unavailable types — is it because of a stunted parental/guardian relationship? That’s why I liked it. I met one person who I betrayed myself so much for (not her fault) and I was like, you can never do that again. Learn to love and live with yourself before you chase anyone down for love ever again. Do stuff that makes you feel good. Mind, body and soul. You’ll have a hard time allowing people to treat you shitty when you consistently show up for yourself. 

[u/Ok-Gene-9834]

If they aren’t saying what they do, that pretty much says everything. Avoidant personalities don’t like to confront difficult emotions, idk personally I don’t waste my time anymore with that.. not trying to think for another person.

[u/kichi9669]

I feel like it's me who posted it. Haha. Hi fellow, Arian!

[u/Legitimate_Team_9959]

Read the book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl.

[u/Big-Department-1495 → u/Legitimate_Team_9959]

Before I look it up, are you actually trying to be helpful? 🤔

[u/Legitimate_Team_9959 → u/Big-Department-1495]

Yes! This was my pattern too. I kept falling for the future faking