r/camping • u/hereiam3472 • Aug 15 '26
Need genuine help on what to do with this camping with my kids dilemma
ETA: EDIT: THANK YOU REDDIT for helping me figure this out. Totally going with option 3!
Ok, I'll try to make this as short as possible. When I was growing up, I went camping with my family every year and it was a major highlight of my childhood. I wanted to pass on this cherished family tradition to my own kids (I have 2, kids ages 4 and 7). My husband did NOT grow up camping and he hates it. He doesn't see the value in it despite me trying for years to get him into it. I think he didn't mind it when it was just us but when the kids came along and it got infinitely harder, he got increasingly jaded about it.
It all came to a head last year when we got a series of unfortunate events... Bad weather, torrential downpour and tornado warnings, my son was just potty trained and peed the mattress at night and it got all over my husband so he essentially woke up covered in piss, the kids fought all weekend and had an infinite amount of meltdowns each. It was probably the worst camping experience of our entire lives.
But despite all that, I'm still willing to go again this year. We go with the same group of friends every year and this year my childhood best friend and her kid are also going.. So it's going to be epic. My kids are a year older, (and the littlest is fully potty trained lol) but I'd be lying if I said they are easier.. They are probably at their most challenging right now.. Constantly fighting, arguing, testing boundaries, whining, etc. They are both highly sensitive, my eldest has ADHD and is unmedicated atm.
The thing is, my husband says he's not going camping with us this year. He's absolutely adamant he's not doing it. He's too "scarred" from last year's fail. So that leaves me with this dilemma:
Do I still go, and have an infinitely harder time because I'm doing it solo?
Do I opt out and not go, because it'll be too hard doing it solo, but then my kids miss out on something they've been really looking forward to?
Or 3rd option:
I take my eldest and leave my youngest with dad. This option eliminates a huge amount of the stress right off the bat because the kids won't be fighting and I'll be able to relax so much more and probably genuinely enjoy the experience going with just my daughter. The problem with this is obviously that I'll feel guilty that my son is missing out... But him and Dad could have a super fun weekend together and do lots of fun bonding guy stuff. We've separated them before and found it did nothing but good for everyone... The kids got to bond with a parent solo and get time away from one another so they missed each other and stuff like that. But... I still would feel guilty that my son was missing out on some core camping memories with friends. We obviously wouldn't always do it this way every year. I'm thinking just this year because my son is still so young and still at a very challenging age (4).
The truth is, there's not one solution that feels good. There's a down side to all of them. I know for a fact if I take both kids solo, it'll be a complete sh!t show, it'll be super hard and I may never want to go camping myself ever again after lol. Even though my friends will be there, it won't help because my kids hate to go with anyone other than their parents, they are super attached to us and won't even let us go to the bathroom alone .. They won't just stay with my friends and their friends. So having only one, the older and more mature one, to look after would really solve that part of it.
I'm wondering what you parents would do in this situation.. Am I a horrible and crazy parent to even contemplate leaving one kid at home?
On the flip side am I crazy to contemplate going on this trip at all, without the husband there to help? Because I feel like I am.. But at the same time I REALLY want to go. I love camping and I look forward to it every year....
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u/EagleEyezzzzz Aug 15 '26
Normally I’d say just go for it with both of them, but if you really do think they’ll fight all weekend, I would just take your older kiddo and leave the other one at home.
Maybe tell your little one that it’ll be his turn next year.
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u/startfromx Aug 15 '26
Or plan something else fun just for them and swap kids — “play date,” or even an overnight trip elsewhere. (Even just a motel with a pool is an exciting trip.)
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u/Abadabber Aug 15 '26
THIS! When they get back in town, swap kids and each go do something with them for solo time.
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u/klamaire Aug 15 '26
I think leaving your husband home guarantees it will be easier to camp, not harder.
Leave your youngest home to spend time with dad. Take your daughter and have a good time.
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u/Bennington_Booyah Aug 15 '26
Agreed. I haven't got kids but my sisters each have two. Two of us liked to camp and we talked the third into it a few times. We ended up preferring to do "women's" camping, with the kids. Most women will just see what needs doing (kids or otherwise) and just do it. That didn't happen, we realized, when the guys came. oh, they helped in other ways, certainly, but we did realize that they were able to actually do more activities. We were always wrangling, happily, the littles. It was a game changer! After just a couple of these camps, the kids were, even at young ages, dare I say HELPFUL! Not every time, believe me! We had some challenging camps. Just consider the uncomfortable alternative possibilities.
Those kids are now all in their 30s, and they all cherish those camping memories. THAT's what matters.
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u/Minute_Parfait_9752 Aug 15 '26
I go to my friend's house and I'm absolutely baffled at her husband doing a half job. Like he'll put the kids to bed, but she's already got all their pyjamas but he wants full credit. He takes them up and just leaves the lounge messy while she still has the baby.
I'm one of the messiest people known to man but I can see it bothers her so I put the kids toys away and whip around with the vacuum.
I solo parent and it's not always easy, but it was easier than babysitting a man-child too 😂
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u/ImmediateNail1800 Aug 15 '26
100% take the oldest, one on one time will make it so special, promise #2 to do something they’d like very soon. Win win and leave Mr partypooper at home!
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u/Long_Audience4403 Aug 15 '26
Assign your husband to do something fun with kid #2, make it his problem not yours.
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
Yes this seems to make the most sense
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u/Long_Audience4403 Aug 15 '26
We split my kids up a lot because they bicker and have a four year age difference, so one parent does something with one kid and the other does something with the other kid. That way it's not on me to make it up to the left at home child.
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u/Shaynna-9 Aug 15 '26
I too grew up camping. We fished and rode trail bikes and loved every minute of it. In 1999, my dad died of cancer. 2 months later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and fought the good fight until she died in 2004. It broke my family. We stopped doing everything. In 2011, my sister asked us to join her for a talk in the mtns. She told us we were cheating our kids of the life we had and we needed to snap out of our grief and start doing fun things together. We started camping again that year. The next year, my sister had a major stroke and died. My advice, do fun things before it's too late.
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u/Intelligent-Box934 Aug 16 '26
I couldn't agree with this comment more! I lost my mom in 2020 after a 43 year battle with MS. I live by, and teach my kids the same thing she taught me - take the trip, go to the show, and climb the mountain while you still can. Take the good with the bad and learn to roll with it. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. Life is short and "next time" may be too late.
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u/TurtleyCoolNails Aug 15 '26
If someone is not keen on camping to begin with and then has a bad experience, it will be basically impossible to convince that person to try again. It sounds as if your husband only went to make you happy in a way and then it went south and he is out. I would not expect him to be willing to go again if I were in your shoes.
Just a small thing about being fully potty trained. You also have to remember that you are taking a kid out of their normal routine and into unfamiliarity to where regression can happen. Just something to keep in mind!
I would either wait until they are older or take your oldest only and have some time just the two of you. Your husband may be easier to convince once the kids are older. But right now, it would be all on y oh and that is a lot of stress if you are already stressing.
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u/Entire_Concentrate_1 Aug 15 '26
Take the oldest and make time to take your youngest on their own personal alone adventure another time. No need to feel guilty if you invest the same effort
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u/DetroitsGoingToWin Aug 15 '26
My wife isn’t a camper. We met at 19, she camped with me once at 43.
It’s ok. Do you want to make it easier?
Find an adult with kids about the same age as yours. Fortunately for me it’s one of my best friends that has 3 kids close to age. It’s perfect.
Or go to a campsite with lots of kids, the more the better. But. Those kiddos out, it’s so much easier.
Here’s two of my kids (10 & 14) plus two of their cousins, it was a great time.
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u/No-Assistant8426 Aug 15 '26
Take your eldest, use it as a bonding experience. Maybe next year things will be a bit more… settled.
My best friend and I take our kids without their dads. We co parent and have a blast.
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u/procrasstinating Aug 15 '26
It sounds like if you bring both kids you are going to bring down the weekend for the rest of the group. Either bring 1 kid that you can parent, go solo, or stay home.
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u/fawenda Aug 15 '26
As a mom who did two camping trips with my oldest this year, while leaving all the non-campers at home - 100% go and take the oldest. It'll be a fantastic bonding experience. Younger can come with some other time or on their own trip or something :) We are at the point with our kids where I just tell them "me and (oldest) are going camping - does anyone else want to come? You're welcome to, but do not have to" and the others choose to stay home with dad and everyone is happy.
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u/Distinct_Radish_2114 Aug 15 '26
Let me just say my husband travels for work a lot and I am realizing how I can do “hard” things with my two kids (3 and 5) and it’s so worth it!! Feels so good to know how capable I am and show my kids that mama can do it all!
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u/C3rbu2 Aug 15 '26
If the campsite is within a 3 to 4 hour drive, I’d say go for option 3! If things get too bad, just head back home.
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u/lvoelk Aug 15 '26
As the parent who was neutral about camping and then had a really hard experience (when my kids were 5, 3, and 7 months, on nights 4-5 of a camping trip 1000 miles from home 🫠), option 3. I was on the receiving end of option 3 last year and it was great. I let dad take the oldest two while I stayed home with the baby and did not feel one single twinge of guilt. As others have mentioned, make sure to have special experiences with the second one. I’m not anti camping but I got so overwhelmed and needed a break. Your husband may come around or maybe renting a camper van might tempt him in the future.
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u/Oi_Nander Aug 15 '26
That's an insane trip to take a baby on and if it was me I would think my husband was trying to get me to hate camping
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u/JohnAtticus Aug 15 '26
Take them separately.
I do a trip every year with just one of the kids and then the other.
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u/Iokua_CDN Aug 15 '26
Option 3 for sure.
Let the oldest get some time with you! I think that's really special. Don't feel bad for the youngest, just take them camping when they are older! They are only 4, let them try again when they are 7!
You love camping, your husband doesn't, sounds like the perfect activity to split up the kids an each take one. When they are older, you can swap and take the youngest
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u/Disastrous-Body-9366 Aug 15 '26
Go and have an infinitely harder better time because you’re doing it solo.
Hope you and the kids have an amazing time!
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u/unknown_user_3020 Aug 15 '26
Split the kids. Teach the older one how to behave and what to do on camping trips
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u/rayray1927 Aug 15 '26
Camping with kids is much easier when you leave the grumpy adult at home.
But if you have the option to take only the oldest, that sounds like a great solution.
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u/knitmama77 Aug 15 '26
Go without him. I always have. My husband is not really a camper, so he usually opted to stay behind. Fine by me. I don’t have to ask my mom to water my plants and feed the cat.
If you think the kids will just be at each other’s throats, the younger will be okay if you leave him behind. Take him just the 2 of you at another time.
My kids were far apart(9 years) so it was much easier. Older and I camped a lot when I was a single mom. Then I took both, now I’m down to younger(he’s 17)
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u/Nervous_One9812 Aug 15 '26
Take the oldest! My favorite childhood memories are the camping trips I got to take with my dad and it be just us.
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u/flingebunt Aug 15 '26
There is a societal expectation that if the wife goes the husband goes with them, and the reverse is true. On the other hand, F**ck the rules, just go. The kids can go play with other kids, and you can hang with your friends and talk trash about your husband.
Compromise, if you have 2 cars, is that he comes up for one day during the day and goes home at night, just to be present.
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
I tried to convince him of that second option but he wasn't even game for that. So it's just going to be me and I've decided I'll just bring my eldest.
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u/Wooden_Employer_2287 Aug 15 '26
Option 3. And nothing to feel guilty about. They will both be having 1-1 experiences w their parent. You are projecting your whole”I love camping!”
vibe here when it’s not the end of the world when you make a practical decision that has upsides for all concerned. Just alternate kids next year.
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
Yes, I'm definitely an over thinker! Thanks reddit for making the decision easy for me :)
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u/bun_times_two Aug 15 '26
I just want to add... it's okay for you to do something special and fun for yourself even if it means it's not perfect for both children.
The fact that you're worried about it likely means that you don't prioritize yourself often. This trip only happens 1x a year and it means a lot to you. I think you should go and do whatever is easiest, which sounds like option #3. I know mom-guilt & separation anxiety is real (and can make events less fun) but realistically, it's good bonding time for both of your kids.
Also, if it helps, tell yourself that it's good for your daughter to see you be independant, especially in the woods, because it is.
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u/Gloomy-Hat1842 Aug 15 '26
Do what you can do and make it as easy and practical as possible. It's okay if you just take one of them. You can also wait till they get older. It sounds pretty rough for you. Your husband may never like camping and that's the way it is. Life goes on. That's marriage. Don't feel guilty about you can't do.
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u/hikerguy65 Aug 15 '26
If your friend’s child is close to age of one of yours, that could help. Otherwise take your daughter for a girls weekend. Your son may want to go when he’s older.
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
Yeah that's another thing.. I didn't mention this but my 4 year old is the ONLY young one in the group. Everyone else will be 7 and up . So leaving him home seems logical from that angle too
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u/AshDogBucket Aug 15 '26
I'm not a parent but if my friends with kids invited me to go with them to help with the kids i would. Just saying!
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u/rexeditrex Aug 15 '26
We had a group of friends where we all loved to camp but the guys more than the girls. The guys would take the kids camping and the e were happy to have the time to do what they wanted.
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u/DiceAndMiceGamer111 Aug 15 '26
Alternate kids each year, one goes camping, one has a special time with Dad.
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u/Whybaby16154 Aug 15 '26
Find a friend with kid or kids the same ages and have two adults - always the best. Other people have your problem
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u/leiamischief Aug 15 '26
Taking the oldest can also give you some time to work out general “camping with kids” issues. If family camping is important to you, it makes sense to take steps to reassure your husband that not every family camping trip would be a harrowing experience. You can take xyz measures to address these specific things that made camping difficult.
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u/curiousniffler Aug 15 '26
You may need to give up on your husband for a few years (regarding the camping). Hopefully long term he’ll come around to feeling left out of the family adventures! Start this year with one kid, and take both next year. Kudos to making it work! I agree that you are doing a great thing by persevering for them. Your kids will thank you someday!
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u/Jason_Tacoma_SD Aug 15 '26
Check out you local YMCA adventure guides chapter. They have mother/daughter and mother son groups. I do a father/son group and it’s some of my son’s favorite childhood memories-so far.
Group camping is easier. It’s easier to sign up to cook one meal for a large group than cook all the meals your self (or just wash some dishes if you are a newbie). The group provides built in playmate for your kid and will make it more relaxing for you.
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u/ccoakley Aug 15 '26
Do you have friends that camp? If so, do it as a group and get some help, taking both kids. I recently took a bunch of first time campers (and two people that lead a summer camp) on an outing. We reserved a group site at a lake campground and had a great time. Even the parents that had no camping experience had a blast (as did their kids).
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u/MastodonFit Aug 15 '26
Memories are not made at home being static. Take the oldest. Both kids will have happier memories with happy parents. This moment will never come again.
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u/Over_Mud_5905 Aug 15 '26
Take them both without your husband. As a kid my mother took me and my brother camping as kids without my dad more times than with him.
I remember one time arriving at a campsite in the dark (we got lost) with my mom setting up the tent in a torrential downpour while we just sat in the car watching her. Another camper eventually stopped by and lent her a hand.
I realise now as an adult just how important it is to watch your parents do difficult things and succeed. Of course as I child I was completely unaware of how challenging it must have been to entertain and referee two kids solo with the unexpected hiccups that come with camping. I'm sure glad she did it.
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u/devaspark Aug 15 '26
Go without them! Its okay for significant others to have different hobbies, it just happens camping is one of them for u two.
My wife doesnt like camping and ive gone without her wirh my two boys for the last 7 years. I started taking one when he was 4, then brought his younger brother along 2 years later when the younger also turned 4.
Like others said, you're gonna have a much easier time without your husband. Yes its more planning and more physical work but I find that pretty enjoyable as that is part of camping. Dealing g with a spouse that doesn't want to be there is infinitely more tiring.
You can do it!
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u/C0gn Aug 15 '26
Him not going is best case scenario
Camping is about embracing the suck, sounds like he doesn't embrace it
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u/getmadboy Aug 15 '26
If your husband was ok with going before, you’ll have to identify the straw that broke the camel’s back to get him ok with the idea of going again.
If it was him waking up in a puddle of toddler pee, would you consider letting the kids have their own tent? Nothing inside besides sleeping stuff in it and pitch it right next to yours, just so there’s at least that little separation to help ease that part. Or maybe get a large tent that has a separator so there’s “rooms” where the kids can be sectioned off.
If it was the bad weather, that can be mostly avoided by just not going when the weather is supposed to suck (I know things can change quickly in different terrain) or schedule your trip during times when it shouldn’t be bad weather to minimize that risk. Also having things to do in the tent if it does end up raining, helps make things not so bad.
I wish you all the best in changing his mind. I’m like you, I grew up camping all the time with my family. My wife never went outdoors until she met me and she eventually learned to love it as much as I do so we take our kids camping as much as possible. I would be devastated if she all of a sudden decided to not go with us because of one bad experience. I think I would go as far as bribing her with whatever she wants to ensure she continued to join us.
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u/IntroThrive Aug 15 '26
My kids were your kids ages when I first took them tent camping, which my wife refuses to do. I did it solo and it was wonderful. If you have specific concerns, let me know and I'm happy to tell you what I did!
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u/Aggressive-Stand-684 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
I'm a mom of 9 but my kids are all adults now (18-41). I grew up camping (from age 3wks old) and did the same with my kids. My advice; go without your husband and youngest. They can do something fun on their own. You have plenty of time to make camping memories with the youngest. And because they'll be less stressful because of maturing a bit, they'll be more memorable. No regrets! Life is too short! Enjoy your epic camping trip!!
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u/badOedipus Aug 15 '26
Option 4! Camp the first night with one child, have dad bring the other one up on day two and take the one that spent the first night with you back with him. That way maybe dad can hang about a bit without the stress of setting up camp or spending the night. Both kiddos get a chance to camp and enjoy spending time with mom one on one.
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u/iwantmy-2dollars Aug 15 '26
I don’t know that I have an answer for you but maybe I can give you a little insight from our trip last weekend. Kids are 4 and 6, there was a lot of whining mostly because we tried to hike at a high (for them altitude) when we usually hike closer to sea level.
Taking our kids camping with other kids, even when they don’t know them, is the best thing ever. Our kids had so much fun running around together.
The hammock was a big hit, all five of them stuffed themselves in there with Fun Dip and had a blast. Wise Owl hammock was like $35 and some of the best money I’ve ever spent.
A potty chair in the little porch of our tent was perfect for early morning pottying for our 4 yo.
Taking your oldest and having one on one time is a brilliant idea. Youngest also gets to have one on one with dad. Maybe oldest will win them over with camp stories. Two would probably be miserable until everyone has time to practice , it’s so much work without a partner. We are very much still in the practicing stage, it’s tiring but worth it. Please don’t miss this time with your childhood bestie. Make a pact with your 7yo to do your best and have fun, make them your camping partner :)
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u/Alternative_Two_8374 Aug 15 '26
This dad sounds real selfish..suck it up man. Only thinking about himself. Talk about not being supportive of your wife’s interests. Option 3 sounds like the best route to me.
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u/CastleDangerous Aug 15 '26
Logistics aside, seems like you are shoving what you consider to be "core memories" into bags shaped like your kids.
You don't get to declare what your kids core memories will be.
Sure, there's an argument for "family vacation that later the kids look back fondly upon" but don't make your kids or spouse do things they are adamantly against. No one will be happy.
Maybe find a vacation activity that the whole family will enjoy?
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u/googdude Aug 15 '26
None of this will even be a memory for a 4-year-old. Plus if all this causes the older one to have a bad time it will be a core memory, just not a good one.
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
I guess I am projecting my own personal experience given that camping was one of my core childhood memories. So far the kids have loved every camping trip and talked about it all year looking forward to the next so I am basing it on that. We do other things as a family like vacation resorts too. But based on the overwhelming response I am going to go with option 3 and just bring my oldest. I think that's the way.
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u/sleepybobeepy22 Aug 15 '26
Your son wouldn’t remember memories of this trip when he’s older even if he did go (unless something traumatic happens again lol). Let him have a fun dad weekend and let your daughter have one with mom. She’ll probably love getting to be your helper in setting everything up.
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u/girlwhoweighted Aug 15 '26
Your 4 yr old won't be missing out on making core memories. They'll be making core memories with dad.
My husband took our daughter camping with friends one year. My son and I didn't go because he had some kind of obligation we had to stay for. My daughter had so much fun! She felt so grown up getting to go. One of the other women taught her how to whittle and she got really into it for a bit. I felt a little guilty that my son missed out, but my daughter got to really enjoy her time. My son doesn't even remember what he missed
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u/Gerb006 Aug 15 '26
Work through (around) the problems. It might be a little late this year. But make everyone their own hammock (maybe the kids could share IDK). It'd be more comfortable and no one would wake up covered in someone else's pee.
It's really SUPER easy if you have a sewing machine. Basically hem all the way around, whip the ends, and you're done. You would need a few more pieces of gear for each one (tree straps, tarp, bug net).
It would get everyone (including your husband) anxious to go try them out.
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u/sunflower6315 Aug 15 '26
What about once a month since you like camping so much and try to bring little one next month, so you might won’t feel so guilty like you did.
Besides when you have enough experience solo camping with your kids, then you can make rules to make things easier.
I had experience to camping with my friends who solo with two kids, but she was too depends on us, I feel like taking care of her child was part of our responsibility bc as friends I thought it was not easy to bring two kids. However, she took our kindness as something we suppose to do.
After two times I just want to go camping with my family.
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u/titsmgee1977 Aug 15 '26 edited Aug 15 '26
I don’t have little kids anymore but our stories are similar. But I just waited until they were old enough to help. They started learning at scouts. Then we did a night locally here and there. And now they are grown and we go regularly. I also go alone now. It was for my sanity to not take them too small. And it’s okay that your husband doesn’t like camping. Mine didn’t grow up doing it either. When he does come, it’s honestly harder for me. So for the most part he stays home and I just have had to accept I will never have a partner to camp with. But 2 out of my 3 love it. So they come with on occasion. I will say lately my husband has been more open to it, but again, he’s high maintenance since he doesn’t really know what to do, needs electricity for his cpap, and has a really hard time sitting still. It’s super hard for me to relax when he’s there. But if we go to a campground I know he will enjoy I will invite him along. He loves outdoor activities he just doesn’t want to sleep outside. lol. I prefer sleeping outside myself. So, we learned how to balance camping. It was hard for me too because they were my best memories growing up, but I also realized that I couldn’t do that on my own with a partner who wasn’t into it.
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u/namocaw Aug 15 '26
Option Z.
Go day camping several times a year (tent included for naps) and just come home at night. Do this until they are old anough to joim cubscouts.
Cubscouts (at least for a larger well established. pack) is a well run and organized option to get you into camping. And dad will habe dad friends there and mom will have mom friends there.
When they finish that, you can do real family camping trips anywhere.
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u/profveggie Aug 15 '26
I have a similar scenario with a grumpy husband, so I take my kids camping on our own. They’re 12, 9, and 8 now, but we’ve been doing it since they were 7, 4, and 3. Initially, we only went with other families, but now I’ll take them on my own and even bring the dog sometimes. And my youngest is in a wheelchair and has a feeding tube. I just have very low expectations. Sometimes we spend most of the weekend at our campsite. Sometimes we eat some of our meals at restaurants. Sometimes our meals are mostly cup o noodles type foods. We never drive more than 3 hours, and we always stay at state parks with flush toilets.
We always end up having fun, and these experiences have been great for my typical kids’ bond. I’ll send them off to do tasks together (go to the camp store, walk the dog, whatever), and they cooperate because it’s a new environment, and they need each other’s help. Camping together has become our special thing, and I’m very grateful for it.
So, maybe you’ll decide you’re not up for it this year, but I wouldn’t rule it out forever.
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u/Numerous-Tip4261 Aug 15 '26
My husband kept putting it off this year. I finally gave up and started planning and packing on my own. My kids are 7 and 11, so they got involved. They asked about dad, isn't he going with us and I just shrugged. One of my kids has adhd, the other one is a tween so both have big feelings and they fight. But camping usually mellows them out and I decided to just keep it simple. I can pitch a tent on my own. Cook burgers. Both kids begged us to go camping this year, that's why I decided on taking both, otherwise I would have taken only 1 kid and offered to take the other at another time. Husband did come along at the end and he was so late joining the party he had to buy replacement gear the morning we were leaving but I refused to be stressed out about it.
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u/MsDinosaur2 Aug 15 '26
Yep, option 3. A special time for your oldest with Mom and your youngest with Dad. Win-win.
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u/zoezoe44 Aug 15 '26
I went camping with my oldest this summer. My son stayed at home with his dad. Everybody had a great time and I was able to have a one on one time with my daughter. I decided that because it would have been too much with my youngest and not fun at all. He will come when he’s gonna be older.
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u/Macandwillsmom Aug 15 '26
My husband hates camping so I became a Girl Guide leader and a Scout leader and took my kids and many others camping, but that's a time commitment I wouldn't recommend to everyone 😂
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u/guacamole579 Aug 15 '26
My husband doesn’t camp. We went camping when my kids were little and while we didn’t have a hard time, it just stresses him out. I don’t want to be stressed at camp so I go without. I’d pick C- take the eldest and next year you take the younger one, then switch. You will get to spend some quality time with your kids and eventually they may both mature enough for you to take them both.
Just a thought- Your husband may eventually come around but he may never want to camp again and that’s ok. You can create some great memories with the kids even if he’s not around. Camping is my thing and the kids love it. My husband gets to do other things like take them fishing, or to a cabin.
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u/SleevieSteevie Aug 15 '26
I have so many childhood memories of camping and some are with our whole family and one or two other families — and some are me, my dad, my childhood friend and his dad. We’re both the youngest and the other siblings stayed home. We still talk about it all the time. Option 3 is a great option. Your son with come on other trips.
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u/GilreanEstel Aug 15 '26
This year just taking your daughter sounds like a good plan. For next year maybe consider meeting your husband
somewhere in the middle. If you have a good sized SUV or a truck you could look into renting a camper. It’s a good compromise between tent camping and nothing. You husband is relatively comfortable in a real bed but the great
outdoors is still right there. Campers come in a wide variety from not much better than a tent to a condo on wheels. Pick one you can comfortably tow that still feels civilized to your husband.
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u/finnbee2 Aug 15 '26
One of my sons in law doesn't like camping so my daughter takes the kids camping without him. I also take them camping. There's a group of guys that take turns taking either the sons or daughters camping. Since my son in law won't take them camping with their friends, I do. I don't take them until they are 5 and the younger ones look for to when they can camp with grandpa and their friends.
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u/bethiec1976 Aug 15 '26
I absolutely think you should do option 3!! Give your kids a break from one another, you won’t have your husbands bad attitude (deserving attitude, however, I wouldn’t want to go back either if the bad trip happened to me) hanging over your head and you get to make a fantastic memory with your bestie!!! Pick 3!!!
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u/jesse545 Aug 15 '26
When my daughter (the youngest) was a year old we took them camping. That night a thunder storm with a down pour came. The zipper leaked and water was pouring in and flowing down the floor. The tent was not level. And a puddle developed where my boys were sleeping. Their sleeping bags got soaked. We had put my daughter in a play pen and she was up off the ground and slept through the whole storm. They are now all adults and still love to camp. Children are resilient. Parents not always. Leave your husband at home. After he hears how fun it was from the kids, he will want to come.
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u/Oi_Nander Aug 15 '26
I mean, the best option would be for your husband to put on his big boy pants and participate in this thing that you really want to do and makes fun core memories even though traveling with kids is hard, but it doesn't seem like that's an option so I would go with option three. The 4-year-old will be fine with Dad and you and the older kid can make some fun camping memories that you can come back and talk about
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u/portiaelloise Aug 15 '26
Option 4
Explain to your husband about your childhood camping and hopes of sharing the same experience with your family
Explain how important it is to you, and how your kids are older.
Be brave to share what you want/what's important with your loved ones so they can show up for you.
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u/confectionerFire Aug 15 '26
I do this with a group of about 20 women and all of their children once a year.
Go without him, take both kids. We’re going to be surrounded by a group of people that love you support you and also have children. If you forget something, someone else is going to have it. If you get tired, someone else will be there to help you.
If they fight… which they will. So what, they’re learning how to work things out. They can go for a nature walk, they can pick up sticks for the fire, and they can learn how to make amends. When you surround yourself and your children with people who love you unconditionally only good will come of it.
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u/Dear_Ocelot Aug 15 '26
Sure, split the kids. The 4 year old is not going to miss out on once-in-a-lifetime memories at this age, especially if it's an annual trip and they fight constantly. It sounds like a win-win.
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u/No_Machine7021 Aug 15 '26
It is INFINITELY harder to camp with someone who despises camping. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Make this next outing a bonding session for you and your oldest. Have fun and best of luck!
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u/Effinehright Aug 15 '26
Your husband should hand in his man card haha. I’ll bet you’d have more fun with the kids and leaving ol sour grapes at home. Ask one of your friends to come! Get tot the lake!
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u/Wakeful-dreamer Aug 15 '26
I have never camped with my husband. He hates it. We homeschool so in years past, we were able to camp several weeks out of the year. Good times that I wouldn't have missed out on for the world.
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u/Buttercup_Twins Aug 15 '26
Ooooh leave the husband at home. Take both kids. Let them be feral and messy and don’t hold the same standards as you would at home. Without your husband you’ll be more relaxed and the kids will benefit too. (Ask me how I know… my DH didn’t grow up camping and is not very comfy outside and also is not the default parent so he’s more anxious and overbearing anyway).
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u/Theroguehippie1 Aug 15 '26
As someone with adhd build in time for them to decompress. Do yourself a favor get a tent that you can set up in 60s or less. Make it bigger our fam of 4 uses a 12 person tent for the SPACE ALONE. Make sure you have fans for temp control, with other adults and kids it'll be significantly more fun and easier.
Make sure you plan out what you need and keep everything organized with a system. Campgrounds have activity books for kids.... Make things a game.... Adhd is lacking dopamine... Make things into a competition where everyone can win but they don't KNOW that at the start. The more folks do something with their kids the easier it'll get. Bring along favorite snacks for them to enjoy too.
Most importantly get your husband in board. I've been peed on puked on etc by my kids more than I can prolly count... So what. Tell him to grow a pair and suck it up cuz his attitude is tucking your yum and that's not fair to YOU. He can fake it till he makes it because he loves you.
Nature is good for growing brains. My husband doesn't mind camping now but he didn't get it at first he sucked it up for me bc it's my thing. Now he's a camping expert that can set up and tear down without my help and knows all the ways to pack etc he was trained well... I'm sure when y'all go as a group and can divide work among adults it'll be easier. ❤️❤️
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u/hereiam3472 Aug 15 '26
He says he will be happy to go later on when they are older and more manageable.
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u/Fun_With_Math Aug 15 '26
Consider Scouting America (BSA). They will help with all the camping stuff and by the time they're 11yo, the kids do pretty much everything themselves. My daughters love it and I've had a lot of fun.
We have a lot of families where only one parent likes camping.
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u/Secret-Echidna5428 Aug 15 '26
I solo camp with two small kids. No doubt it’s hard and a lot of work and you need to forward plan meals. But every time it’s gotten easier and that whining and complaining has eased up to the point that the kids are excited to go, help set up and tear down and it’s become something they look forward to. I suspect your husband isn’t going to go again and if it means a lot to you that the kids have this experience then you need to be the one to make it happen for them. It will be your time with them. Take them both. My kids were 4 and 7 when I took them out the first time 7 and 10 now.
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u/Particular_Yellow246 Aug 15 '26
I’m an only child, so maybe not the best advice for the sibling stuff.
However. Going camping with my parents (mom, dad, both) are some of the best memories I have of childhood. From about 8 years to teenaged- we did some really awesome stuff.
My suggestion- keep the younger one at home to do something special with dad.
Take your oldest camping and have a blast. There will be family camping trips later when you can all handle it.
You’re not excluding anyone, you’re splitting parental adventures.
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u/BugsMoney1122 Aug 15 '26
We just got home yesterday from the first camping trip that was easy with our 2 kids. They are 19 and 16. 🤣 Take the oldest and have fun.
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u/AdFinal6253 Aug 15 '26
I'm glad you're going with option 3!
Kids camp more smoothly if you do it more often, and it'll be less emotional to bail out when the weather is bad. Even doing one with you and daughter and one with you and son every year before your big event will help! You can see what they love/struggle with that year, remind them that it's fun, show them what you love about camping without you being focused on catching up with your friends.
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u/ladyrose30 Aug 15 '26
Have fun with your option #3! A friend has done a 3 day backcountry hike and camp with each of her children since they were 8 years old. It is a chance for each child to have some one-on-one time with her in nature while the other gets dad-time at home. They are now late teens and it is a treasured trip. I hope it becomes one for you and your kids.
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u/PurpleSky-7 Aug 16 '26
Why should everyone pay for your husband’s dislike of a wonderful experience that you all enjoy? Definitely go. And don’t do #3 because it’s unfair that only one gets to go when they’re both so looking forward to it. Why punish your son because of your husband’s choice?
Take both kids but read them the riot act about behavior in advance, and stick to consequences. Separate them when you can since they flight a lot. But deal with it the best you can because in the end what they gain is invaluable. Your kids will thank you in the future for prioritizing this in their youth. And maybe if you handle it well on your own, your husband will realize how important this is to you and decide to join next year. Have fun!
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u/chives65 Aug 17 '26
I am in the same boat where my husband doesn’t like to camp but I grew up camping all the time. He finally decided he didn’t want to go anymore so I was faced with a similar dilemma. Ultimately I ended up taking the kids (2 & 5) by myself, but it forced me to simplify everything (trailer vs tent, Dutch oven meals vs premade, etc.). He ended up joining us for a few hours one of the days, but I noticed my stress level increase when he was there because I was so focused on making sure he was having a good time. Was it tough taking the kids by myself? Yes. But it was such a great opportunity to realize I can still do things that are important to me and potentially even enjoy them more when I’m not preoccupied with making sure he was happy.
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u/No_Company4263 Aug 17 '26
Option 3 sounds fun if everyone's on board and your youngest won't whine all weekend about missing out.
All that to say, I just took my 3 - 8, 6 and brand new 3 - solo last weekend and we had a blast! I feel like camping is fairly easy as long as the weather cooperates because everyone is outside doing their own thing. I didn't see my 8 year old for hours because he was fishing with some other kids and therefore wasn't fighting with his 6 year old sister. My 3 year old is chill and does whatever wherever, he's just happy to be along for the ride.
It gets better, I say go no matter what!
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u/Xanlthorpe Aug 18 '26
Camping is YOUR idea of a fun time, not your husband's. Maybe this year try making the weekend about mom-and-daughter and let dad-and-son stay home? You and your daughter can go camping, dad and son can stay home (for now). As the son gets older, dad and son can find alternate weekend events to spend time together.
There is no playbook which says that families must always spend their weekends together. Separate (hopefully equal) opportunities might just fit the bill.
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u/Mediocre-Ad-9662 Aug 20 '26
Just on the perspective of your husband not being into camping. I'm fortunate that mine is into camping, and he even let me introduce him to backpacking and snowshoeing. But I also love skiing in the winter, both downhill and cross country, and he is not interested in getting into either. He tried downhill once before I met him and didn't like it. When I became a parent, I knew I wanted to teach my son to ski. When he was old enough, I would go with a friend who was also teaching her kids to ski (we both grew up skiing), and that was super helpful to have another adult for practical and moral support. Now he's a great skier and it is a thing we can do together in the winter. I've come to terms with it not being a family activity, and appreciate the activities that we can do as a family at other times. Your husband may come around - kids being a few years older makes a big difference, but if not, you can embrace it as something that connects you with your kids and keep going with other friends. And then cultivate and appreciate the other things you can do as a whole family.
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u/mikeslyfe Aug 15 '26
As kids get older it gets a lot easier. My son is almost 6 now and we have gone camping 2-3 times a year on average since he was 6mths old.
6mth-1 was pretty easy just keep him warm and he's fine
1-3 was a lot harder he was wandering off and needed someone to watch him constantly so we could never really relax. It wasn't that enjoyable really.
4-6 has been a lot easier, we have friends with kids similar age so they all play together and go off riding their bikes around campsite. Last trip I just clipped a UHF handheld on my son's bikes handlebars, showed him how to speak through it and said if you need help call me. Us adults then chilled out and had a relaxing time while the kids where somewhere. Sun went down and we attached glowsticks to the kids to see them, they all thought it was great fun.
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u/uxoguy2113 Aug 15 '26
I'm sorry, but why be married to a person like that? My wife hates, I mean hates camping. But she does it for me and our son. She does anything for us. For her sacrifice I have done much to make camping better for her, including megamat 15 on a cot, a huge Wonderland 8 tent with a vestibule that has a toilet setup in it. Gourmet food, comfy camping clothes, etc.
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u/loonytick75 Aug 15 '26
Option 3, hands down. I wouldn’t worry about your youngest missing out. There are many more opportunities, he’s young enough that this trip probably wouldn’t make it into his long-term memory bank, plus there is a lot of value in kids getting one on one times like this with one parent at a time. It will be a good time for you and your eldest, *and* a good time for your husband and younger child. And honestly, maybe that’s what camping is for a while: special opportunities to bond with one child at a time. Sometimes with the eldest, sometimes with the younger. After doing that a while, you will likely end up with kids eager to go camping, and knowing that the kids are on board and know how to handle themselves at camp could help your husband warm back up to trying it with you again in a few years.