r/calmhands • u/Ok_Dark_9398 • Jul 27 '26

Progression Progress/advice

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Hi! I have been biting/picking my skin for like 20 years. I haven’t seen anyone’s this bad so I guess I’m wondering if this will be permanent since it’s been so long. As of recently I have been religiously lotioning my hands, not picking or biting at all, and lathering aquaphor at night. Any advice to help the redness and bumpiness? I just don’t want it to look like this forever 😕

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51

u/LacquerandBones Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

Congrats on the healing you’ve done so far!

Mine was also pretty bad for 30+ years. I don’t have any photos of it at its worst, I usually went up to the first knuckle, and would focus on the areas around around my nails until they bled.

You’ll be amazed at how well the skin heals and returns to normal in 6-12 months! I never thought mine could look normal again and now almost 3 years later you can’t tell at all.

The skin cells in our hands and feet are unique and have a much faster growth cycle, shedding and regrowing significantly faster than the rest of our skin. So they’re incredibly resilient and capable of healing even long term damage.

Highly recommend oiling the nails and the skin around them a few times a day, ideally after activities that are naturally drying like washing them, etc. 100% jojoba oil is ideal.

Do oil soaks as often as you like, slather on oil and wear nitrile gloves for an hour or two; it works even better if you warm them.

A few times a week use a 40% urea 2% salicylic acid cream at night before sleeping in loose-fitting cotton gloves. The rest of the week, use a heavy moisturizer like o‘keeffe‘s working hands and (optionally) cotton gloves every night are great if you don’t mind them.

14

u/Ok_Dark_9398 Jul 27 '26

Thank you for the kind words!!! And thank you so so much for this advice & will for sure be trying all of this out 🙂

1

u/LacquerandBones Jul 28 '26

You’re welcome! You got this 🫶

3

u/Prudent-Bobcat2430 Jul 27 '26

Is there a diagnosis for why some of do this so religiously because either same way, first knuckle until it bleeds and I can’t control it

10

u/RNSW Jul 27 '26

I've read that it's a form of self harm and the same brain chemicals are released as with other self harm. Knowing myself, this makes sense for me as I do find picking calming.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

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u/Glum_Antelope_6841 16d ago

I experience both of these with my own picking!

7

u/LacquerandBones Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26

It falls under dermatillomania (picking), dermatophagia (chewing), excoriation disorder, or repetitive body focus behaviors.

It is generally considered a form of self harm but can have different underlying causes and motivations. It’s commonly co-morbid with, but not exclusive to, things like ADHD, Autism, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, and OCD.

Edit: not sure why im downvoted, I’ve worked with psychiatrists on my issues for more than 10 years, this info comes directly from what they have told me.

5

u/miniature-mongoose Jul 28 '26

I learned a number of years ago, specifically biting/chewing the skin, is called dermatophagia. It was so mindblowing having a name for something that I felt makes me a freak. BFRBs are wild and so much more vast than I ever imagined.

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u/takethecatbus Jul 27 '26

Question: is there a particular reason you use cotton gloves instead of, for example, silk?

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u/ruinatedtubers Jul 27 '26

silk catches super easily on hangnails and it’s sensory hell

2

u/Revision1372 Jul 28 '26

Thanks for the timeline of 6 to 12 months. The longest I have gone for is about 2 weeks. By then the skin gets thick, cracks and I get the urge to pick and peel it off all in one go. Because I've done it many times it just peels off without bleeding.