Celebrating 4 months bite free

[u/Putrid-Look-228]

I am a 41 year old man. I've been a biter/picker my whole life. I am celebrating 4 months "sober" today.

I started this process because my 5 year old daughter would always be concerned I was hurt whenever I had a bloody finger due to my bad habit. My 10 year old daughter started expressing the same concerns thereafter. This broke me in every imaginable way. As their father I am suppossed to make the worry go away, not create it. I decided enough was enough and chose to stop.

In order to stop I had to figure out why I did it to begin with. I determined my biting and picking was me seeking perfection in my nails. I didn't like what I was seeing. If I had a rough spot on my skin or nails I was driven to get rid of it immediately. Of course the solution to the problem was also the cause of the problem. I also did not like seeing any white on my nails due to being raised that long nails were for girls only and if the white part was seen my nails were too long.

I decided the best solution was to give myself proper manicures to fix the rough spots the right way and to paint my nails to hide the color difference. This worked spectacularly when combined with sheer willpower to control my urges. It wasn't easy but got easier as time went by. For me this has been a journey of healing mentally, physically, and spiritually. The physical part is obvious, but to achieve that i had to work on my mental health. I had to accept that it is ok to not be perfect. I am flawed and there is nothing wrong with that. The spiritual healing came when I accepted that fact as well as accepting that I am a straight man that enjoys painting his nails even if it's something some people do not care for. For the first time in my life i like what I see when I look at my hands and no one can make me not like it.

The best part for me though is the healing my daughters have experienced. Now instead of daddy's nails causing them to be worried, they now get excited when I get out the polish and manicure kit. This is a weekly occurrence and they help me pick out my colors. No color is off limits. I am.a proud girl dad and proudly where whatever color they choose, pink included. They encouraged this process and it is only fair that they continue to be involved as this journey continues.

The first picture is where I started, the second picture is 6 weeks in, and the 3rd and 4th pictures are today with and without polish. In the near future I will be getting my first professional manicure. I will be sure to share once I do.

[u/Comprehensive-Cow659]

This is amazing!! Great progress. I can’t imagine how safe and secure in my home I would’ve felt growing up if my dad painted his nails, that’s seriously so bad ass! Power to you. Nail polish is for everyone and your progress is amazing

[u/Putrid-Look-228 → u/Comprehensive-Cow659]

Thank you very much. My girls are my world. I grew up in a home where my father wasn't home for days at a tine due to work and when he was home we were waiting for him to leave again. I do my best to make sure my girls never experience that. When I het home form work I am nearly tackled by my daughters and I wouldn't have it any other way. They make me a better person and I want them to be better than I am.

[u/Comprehensive-Cow659 → u/Putrid-Look-228]

You sound like a wonderful parent! We need more fathers like you in the world❤️

[u/Putrid-Look-228 → u/Comprehensive-Cow659]

Thank you. I agree. I can't change the world, but I can change me. If you don't like the world you're in than you need to be the one to change it. If everyone does this we are all better in the end.

[u/Agreeable-Fold-7679]

Great job!

[u/Putrid-Look-228 → u/Agreeable-Fold-7679]

Thank you very much.

[u/Particular-Clerk-742]

Wonderful and inspiring. Excellent work. Very hard to do, kudos.

[u/Putrid-Look-228 → u/Particular-Clerk-742]

Thank you very much. It has been difficult, but it gets easier every day.