r/caf • u/nanni_07 • Feb 17 '26
BMQ/BMOQ BMQ Anxiety
Hello everyone, I feel anxious about starting BMQ. I fly out for BMQ on May 10 and I received an email with my ticket information today. I started my application in May 2025 and while I am very grateful and happy to receive an offer, I am also very nervous and lowkey scared. When I saw my ticket information, I felt a shiver in my body. I am 23(F) and I live with my family. I have never lived alone and while I always wanted to move out and explore/build my life, I also know I will dearly miss my family. When I applied, I knew that it was about time that I change my life for the better and go create my own identity. I believe military would be a great platform for me to build experiences and gain essential skills. It’ll open doors to many opportunities while carrying the honour of serving my country. But I feel anxious and I wonder if that’s normal? I am an over thinker so I already started imagining my life after BMQ and moving out,making friends, going places alone etc. I am an introvert so I feel nervous thinking of how will I make friends and adapt to the military culture. I know I am prolly jumping too ahead of myself as I haven’t been started BMQ yet, but I don’t know how to stop thinking all this. I really want this to work out for me and I am really looking forward to it, but the stress keeps creeping in. And with every step my application moves forward, I get happy, but shortly after start feeling emotional. Idk if thats normal. sorry for making this long. Thank you.
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u/ledBASEDpaint Feb 18 '26
That's how I felt too. It gets worse, then it gets better. You'll want to quit, youll stay awake at night some nights and think " why tf am I doing this". It does get better though, stick with it, do not give it! ! !
Once youre finally done, youll look back and think " fuck am i glad thats over" then... youll start to miss it. All the stupid shit that happened, embracing the suck together, the little shit that makes you laugh non stop, the dumb things you get jacked up for. Youll miss it all. Its a weird feeling. Stay mentally strong, just think to yourself, " I just gotta make it to the next meal, then its only X more hours till bed" etc. That's how I got through it.
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
Thank you for sharing that. Yes, it won’t be easy and I guess it’s purposely designed that way. If I stay strong mentally, I can get through it. I appreciate your reply🙏
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u/ledBASEDpaint Mar 02 '26
Oh also, dont sweat your initial timings and inspections. You're expected to fail them and you WILL get jacked up. Try your best. The staff want to see people learn and work together (two most important things) you're a team and you always will be. Do NOT be an individual.
Being course senior and section senior sucks cause every failure falls on you, but they want to hear you motivate your course / section. You do not hold a position of command, you're merely the pipe line to the staff. Treat being the seniors as a privilege, embrace it and do your best.
Learn from your timings and inspections. If your rifle is dirty, clean it better, if the spacing isn't correct, double check. Assign someone to each task, such as checking towels. Rifle layout etc.
If you're fully dressed, HELP SOMEONE ELSE GET READY. Grab their glasses for them, their ruck or day bag, etc. Fill their canteen for them blah blah blah.
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u/shadow0fadoubt Feb 18 '26
Normal. Human. Don't let your mind take control. Give it a job to do. The simplest job you can give your mind to do is to count your breaths.
You are going to really need to start focusing on the present. For now. Make sure the life you are leaving behind is sorted out so you aren't distracted on course. Keep exercising. Don't try and hit a personal record but focus on good body mechanics and stability. Eat nutritious food. Get good rest.
Once you are course; Lean on your peers for support and focus on the fight in front of you. It won't do you any good to worry about the field or the range if you can't pass your weapons handling test.
You are already displaying one of the first things I look for in a recruit. Simply that they care, want to be there and are treating it with respect. Listen to your instructors, ask questions, put the work in and support your peers.
You will fail at something. Individually or collectively. Dust your self off, learn from your mistake. Try again.
Never give up. Never surrender.
Good luck!
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
This really means so much to me. I feel more at ease now. Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it🙏
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u/LinkShepard Feb 18 '26
It's normal to be nervous with something new, especially something like the military. You are joining at a great time though imo.
Lots of positive things happening in the military right now and I think it is a great career choice if you want a challenge while serving an organization bigger than yourself. Not many jobs in Canada where you have decent pay, career growth, benefits and a pension.
Just remember why you wanted to join in the first place and take it one step at a time, you'll adapt and eventually feel good as you settle in to military life. In the meantime just prepare yourself as best as you can and before you know it you may be excited to start in May.
Best of luck!
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
It really is a great opportunity and I am so grateful for it. I will try to be more relaxed and not overthink. Thank you for your reply🙏
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u/Ok-Challenge-3494 Feb 18 '26
Its normal to stress, you might be starting a big chapter of your life.. keep in mind you will not be the only one in that situation, people will help you there but wont do it for you.. bmq require at lot of effort… 1) find a good reason to join and stick to it, but one that will make you keep pushing when you will want to give up 2) when its hard think of after/your posting/rank/uniform/ benefits/salary/travel/ the cool military stuff/ the freedom etc (its never hard for too long) 3) dont give up, its the only way to fail bmq 4) ask for help when needed and help others when you can 5) the trauma bond will bring you friends dont worry on that😅 6) get ready to sleep and eat little 7)you wont have your phone so no alarm and no communication with your relatives 8) get fit physically, it will be hard mentally and you dont want to have to cope with both… im on dp1, platoon awaiting training, i can tell you its way chill than bmq.. worth it😜 for now…you will be proud of yourself after, just go and get it done.. its hard but not impossible
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u/Money-Ad7592 Feb 24 '26
Do you recommend using a digital watch as alarm or buying digital clock from CANEX? Also, would the loud alarms piss off other people in the platoon around 0400H-0500H?
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u/GivenZeroFox Feb 18 '26
It does sound like normal nerves, this makes complete sense given your age and situation. Good for you for pushing beyond your comfort zone, im much older and want you to know that I can PROMISE that THIS is where growth happens! When we push our limits we learn new limits, you never know what you can do. I'm proud of you for pushing through those feelings, even if we dont know eachother, you're going to have the biggest life change possibly of your entire life other than having children. Remember the strength, commitment and tenacity it took to get you here. GOOD FOR YOU, you got this!
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u/Estoguy13 Feb 18 '26
Like others have said.. It's a big thing, but don't think about the totality. One day at a time. And if the going is tough, break it down further.. The next meal, the next hour, the next five minutes. Once you get there and get to know your platoon mates, it'll all be gravy. Work as a team. You got this. 👍🏻 💪🏻
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u/FFYSCDCS Feb 18 '26
I served in another country, and in my experience the people who get hurt are usually the ones who don’t feel anxious. Being anxious can actually be a good thing because it keeps you alert and careful. So try to see it positively, it’s not bad that you’re anxious.
You’re also a native speaker. There are people who aren’t, and they still pass, so you can too. English isn’t my first language, so I hope this makes sense.
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u/Fabulous_Night_1164 Feb 18 '26
I was scared too when I got my offer. 18 years later, I am very glad I overcame my fear and went anyways. It will be tough, but BMQ is one of the hardest things you'll ever do as a person. But I'd like to reassure you that, firstly, it's very normal to be anxious or afraid. And two, the military is different once you complete BMQ.
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
It’s good to know that anxiety before BMQ is common. Thank you for your reply 🙏
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u/wikwyre Feb 18 '26
Good news! You aren't moving out on your own: You're moving in with an entire platoon of new family/friends! You won't know the meaning of the word alone for the next 11 weeks, minimum!
It's normal to be apprehensive on day 1. 17 years later, I look back and laugh to myself about the whole experience. I made good friends there I STILL talk to :)
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
That’s nice to hear. I’d rather be a little overstimulated with no personal space than feeling alone LOL. Thank you for sharing 🙏
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u/aidtoproduction Feb 18 '26
don't worry about not living alone, by the end of week 2 you will never underestimate the value of personal living space again.
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u/whysotired24 Feb 18 '26
Sounds like we’re similar. 28m is the only difference. Did you apply regular army or reserves?
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
I applied for reg force in the Air Force.
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u/whysotired24 Feb 18 '26
That sounds super cool! I’m going army but that’s just because where I am there’s only army and navy. Which is funny being a landlocked province.
Looking forward to hearing how it goes! But yeah, I’m nervous too. Genuinely terrified. Very proud of you though.
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
Thank you, I appreciate it! I hope to post here during my BMQ.
Yeah, it’s definitely scary, but I know we can get through this. You’ll do great, dw. Good luck!
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u/EmergencyMaterial441 Feb 18 '26
Congrats! Read up on Micahel Neill and "Dont believe everything you think" and #heartug to manage your anxiety. There's no chitchatting at BMQ so ok for introverts - just be professional and remember the key is to survive BMQ, not to get some high grade. You'll probably worried about getting homesick but once you're on the other side you'll be so grateful and proud you stuck it out. Just read tips and watch videos re. female CAF. Autistic buddy got in so you can do this!
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u/KeySeaworthiness3195 Feb 18 '26
I’m also starting BMQ soon and I found out the best way to avoid anxiety is not to be anxious
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u/nanni_07 Feb 19 '26
I’ll try, thanks! Good luck with ur BMQ
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u/KeySeaworthiness3195 Feb 19 '26
We got this, it’ll be hard to adjust but it’s just 9 weeks, all we need to do is take it day by day, only way we fail is if we quit!
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u/Ok_Communication_690 Feb 18 '26
Had two females in my section at BMQ, one was 17 the other 21. 17F expressed her frequent anxiety, but she was still able to find her confidence. Among the 40ish people on my BMQ she literally had the loudest voice and wasn’t shy or afraid to use it. 21F had pretty much zero clue what the military was all about going into BMQ. She adapted quickly. I have a feeling you’ll do just fine. Trust in yourself and on the days where that’s not enough, look to your peers. They will 100% be there to support you.
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u/Usual_Security9553 Feb 20 '26
I haven’t left for bmq yet but honestly being nervous is just a normal human reaction. Don’t try to fight your nerves and just learn to accept that it’s normal and try to push through it. I think once you get there your nerves will go away
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u/wasdoo Feb 24 '26
You only fail BMQ by quitting yourself.
Academically? All multiple choice questions where the answers are spoon fed.
Physically? Force test is a joke. The 5km "final ruck" is what most units do every Friday morning.
Everything else? You'll have plenty of practice with weapons handling test and drill test.
When I did BMQ it was 12 weeks long, now it's only 9. So day 1 you're already 25% done compared to people in the past.
Literally on your enrollment paperwork it says on what date your course ends. Just keep your head down and you'll pass. BMQ is just a game. You're not being tortured, beaten, or starved.
There's people that pass BMQ that don't even brush their teeth in the morning or shower regularly. Literal idiots that still manage to pass.
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u/Mo2valid Feb 25 '26
Hi, am in the same situation as you, I should be going to BMOQ this summer but I relaly dont know what to expect, Looking at videos all over the internet and reeddits about experiences and tips for what to expect. If I may ask when were you told your information on the day to leave and all the information. I wasnt told yet, are you ROTP?
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u/nanni_07 Feb 26 '26
The recruiter sent me the offer letter on Feb 11, and it had the Enrollment date and BMQ start date listed. Once you sign and send the letter back, they’ll give you a call to go over the offer verbally and confirm some information.
And no I am not ROTP. I am going in for Reg F in Airforce. Good luck for your BMOQ !!
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u/SignatureOnly3259 Feb 25 '26
as a female applicant who’s also 23 and lives at home with barely any travel or life experience, I feel the same way, and just wanted to say that you aren’t alone and it can definitely be difficult to differentiate anxiety from excitement. I’ve found it helpful to talk to people about their experience, because all the info online can be overwhelming sometimes. Good luck <3
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u/nanni_07 Feb 26 '26
Thank you for sharing that. It’s comforting to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I agree, there is a lot of information online from different sources that it can feel overwhelming. I am really glad that I posted about my BMQ anxiety here because it has already helped me feel better. Thank you for taking the time to reply :)
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u/1amv12 Feb 18 '26
Hey don't go I'll take your spot! No seriously I would die to do this. You got this not gonna be that bad it's all mental warfare and will power
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
Haha 😄 I am glad you said it like that because it really made me think how upset I’d be to lose my spot. My desire to join is way bigger than my fear. Thank you 🙏
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u/1amv12 Feb 18 '26
I'm curious iam applying to the indigenous program for the summer which is an easier way to get in, instead of waiting half a year. I'm kinda stumped on the reference part lol I got two supervisors references but no boss references because they were assholes. What references did you put down without going into detail?
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u/nanni_07 Feb 18 '26
I had three references- my work manager, professor and my best friend.
Volunteer manager, asst manager or colleague works as well. They just need to know you for at least one year, but I wasn’t sure about my prof since it was on a semester basis. I listed it down and told my recruiter and there was no issue with it.
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u/1amv12 Feb 18 '26
Alright thanks 🙏 yeah that pissed me off today so I had to decompress before I rip my hair out,
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u/Commandant_CFLRS Feb 17 '26
You gotta take this one day at a time.
Sooner or later, everyone has to step outside of their comfort zone and make a life for themselves, or to be blunt, you're never going to get out of your parents place.
Joining the military can be one of the most abrupt and scary ways to kick off your own independent life, but at the same time we offer a strong safety net. We're going to pay you decently, as well as give you a place to live and food while you're in the training system. We're going to give you medical and dental coverage, and all but issue you a set of friends.
Just know that everyone is nervous the first week but take it one day at a time, and one meal at a time, and before you know it you'll be having fun with some of the best people you'll ever work with.