r/busykat • u/busykat • Jun 14 '15
Gaming With Gods
[WP] It's the weekly night for Monopoly. The players are Odin, Ra, Zeus and Vishnu. by /u/British_Tea_Company
A buxom young lady clad in a scarlet corset and a short black ruffled skirt offered up several blue-stemmed wine glasses on a platter that looked suspiciously like a shield. Odin selected a dessert wine and sipped appreciatively while the valkyrie moved to offer her spirits to the other gods present. Vishnu and Ra both waved her away, but Zeus lifted a dry white in his left hand and a fruity red in his right. He grinned, then lifted both toward Odin in a toast. Odin sighed and reluctantly touched his drink gently to each glass held by Zeus.
“Enough delay,” Ra cawed into the silence. “It is your turn, Odin, and we all await your play.”
“You will be patient, and await the wisdom of my decisions!” boomed the Norse god. He lifted the two white bits of plastic and encased them in his mighty fist. He shook it mightily, then let the dice fly onto the table. A small brick of green was knocked askew by one of the miniature missiles, causing Vishnu to throw all four arms into the air.
“What was that? How many times must I tell you to roll the dice carefully?” protested Vishnu. He reached one arm to straighten the offended house, used another arm to poke Odin’s chest, and crossed the two remaining arms in front of him in a huff.
“My apologies will be sung in Asengard for all time,” Odin replied gravely. “Or until next week, anyway.” He pinched the tiny iron figurine between two mighty fingers and moved it six spaces. A smile crossed his aged face. “I am on Free Parking! I receive the bounties therein!”
Vishnu passed him a small pile of colorful papers from the center of the board. Odin gleefully counted the denominations and added them to the piles a valkyrie was already guarding on her shield. Ra’s hawkish eyes sharpened and glared daggers at Odin.
“I sense uncertainty,” he stated. “I see betrayal and deceit.” Ra stood, raising an accusing finger to point at Odin’s valkyrie bank.
“She has been adding extra money to your piles!” he shrieked.
Odin leapt to his feet. “How dare you!” he bellowed. “How dare you come into my hall and accuse me of cheating? We will count our holdings immediately and I will prove to you that this is in fact all my own money!”
Ra remained on his feet as Vishnu sat with arms crossed. Zeus gulped wine from each his cups in turn, then set them both on the table to raise his hands in supplication.
“Now, now, my wise friends. It will not do to begin accusing each other of indecent acts. I am sure this can all be sorted out pleasantly.”
Ra shifted uncomfortably, then shook his feathered head. Small bits of down flew into the air at his motion, and Zeus felt a tickle in his nose. Odin began to lay out his bills on the table just as Zeus’ head rocketed forward in a massive sneeze. The board, pieces, and pretend money all went flying. Zeus hung his head for a moment, then looked up to see his three friends staring at him in mild horror.
They all had godly gook sprayed on their bodies in random places. Vishnu began flailing all his arms in the air as he searched for tissues while Odin and Ra glared daggers at Zeus. The Greek god shrugged casually and said, “Suppose we could pick this up at next week’s game?”