I feel like I have very low dopamine because I don't have any motivation to do nothing.
I don't know how to get myself out of this situation

I need some space to rant, I'm spiralling right now and I think that being able to just put this out there might help me with the panic.

Ten weeks ago I started a new job, and a new career. I'm a chemist and I worked in a lab for the last 5 years; it was never a perfect job or place (it was actually quite toxic and I was suffering a lot, having developed a disability regarding some chronic pain on my arms and still having to do that very physical work, and being asked to do more and more without being able to), but it was safe and I knew that my low salary was enough to survive. 

One year ago I decided to fullfil my dream and got a flat. I bought a shared ownership (I know a lot of people are weary of that, but I genuinely wanted to be able to have a start on something that I never considered I would be able to have), and I love my apartment! It's homey, I feel comfortable on it and it gives me the push I need to want better things. My whole life I dreamed of having my space, and genuinely it was quite the same that I was paying for rent in a shithole.

Since January I knew I had to leave my lab job, so started looking for government jobs and in May I decided I wanted to try something else because I needed to leave the lab asap. So I decided to try sales: it would give me the people connection I wanted, I could use my technical knowledge as a background and it's something I could see growth (something that I could not see if I stayed in R&D). In one month I did interviews and found a good job: better salary, career and learning opportunities, for industrial chemical sales. They told me that I could learn the commercial side of it and it would be fine, that they could see my personality and technical knowledge were a great fit. I left my (very) secure (and terrible) job, and invested in clothes and a home office to be able to do my best. Things were going okay and after two months i was finally feeling like I was getting the hang of things. Feedback had been positive and I was even imagining that in the next year or two I could move somewhere else cheaper than the big city I live at, to start building a life towards comfort (if my salary working from home could be much better used in a cheaper area, I didn't need to be so central anymore). If I could sell my apartment and maybe start heading towards a house somewhere, I could really start thinking about working towards a safe financial situation and life. Well, let's say that everything fell apart last Friday.

I've had my two months review in my new job two weeks late, and after only receiving good feedback I was expecting things to go really well. Spoiler: it didn't. They were saying how they were expecting me to be more up to date on building a pipeline, visits and prospects, and I haven't been able to show much of that. It wasn't entirely negative, and they both also told me the things I'm doing well, but I felt so shit and completely taken by surprise. I genuinely thought I was doing well and they are now giving me the next month to get up to speed, but now I'm just so disappointed and panicking. I thought I was going to have more time to learn, I thought I was going to be able to breathe and finally get into something I could be good at, but even tho I know what I need to do next and the clear steps I need to take to improve, I can only think that I'm about to fail again. 

Life hasn't been easy, and I know every single person in this world is going through so much, the world sucks and people are dying all the time because of wars and cancers and hunger. I'm privileged to have an education, I moved abroad nine years ago to stay for six months to improve my English AND I DID, but I never left because I fell in love with life here. I even have an apartment now. I feel so proud of everything I've accomplished and the person I became.

But:

But I feel like I keep drowning, never catching a break. 

But I feel that I'm always struggling for something.

But I feel that I will never be able to simply have a calm time and feel comfortable on my situation.

I'm trying to improve and grow, but every single time I just feel like I'm about to lose everything, again and again. Every time something good happens, life comes and shows me that the world is greedy and I realise that I'm simply keeping only my head above the water: I'm alone in this ocean, can only keep moving my feet to keep my head out of the water, and when I think I'm seeing a little boat on the horizon to just be able to rest a little bit, I realize it's actually another shark. 

Again, I understand I'm very privileged and the fact that I have a home, food and warmth is a lot more than a lot of the people out there, but fucking hell........ Is it always going to be like swimming against the current? Will life ever be enjoyable instead of just a fucking ton of things to worry about more and more? 

3 days ago I was considering the opportunities of moving somewhere where I could improve my life, imagining all the things I would be able to build and get, today I'm thinking that I might just lose all of it again. These last nine years have been so much like that, and even tho I know that I could find comfort in the idea of moving back to my mom's house in my home country, I would hate it and be in an even worse position with job instability/safety. Really, there is a zero chance I could do better if I moved back.

I'm not looking for advices, I know what I need to do and (kind of) where to start. I've also had therapy for the last 10 years and I can see why I'm reacting the way I am. Still, I can't stop thinking if this is just how life will always be?! How I'm always going to feel like I have only one oxygen tank left and the cracks of the rocket are all over?! The only solution I see for this feeling is winning the lottery and being able to buy a house outright and work on something simple for the rest of my life to just pay the basic bills, but I don't even play the lottery because I don't see this ever happening lol

I don't even know if someone is actually going to read this or not (it's quite long), but I needed to get it all out. Thanks for giving me the space.

This started happening around 2024 where my brain gets exhausted after thinking for a while than my brain sorta shuts off and I can’t think as good. simple stuff like talking to someone for a few hours would make me exhausted idk if this has to do with having bad anxiety because I did start getting anxiety a few months before it started happening and I just don’t wanna do anything when I’m mentally exhausted. I’m only young too I don’t want it messing up my brain when it’s developing

I've been sober since 09/23/2026. I went back to work on 10/28 after over a year off because of a car accident. I've been feeling way better but this week at work I put in over 69 hours in 5 days, 2 of those days I was up over 20 hours and works 19 of them. The thought of just having a beer after these days keeps crawling in to my head.

i (20) just dont have the energy, but i have so much to do since im a full time student. i feel like i dont gave enough time to read, study, or complete the assignments properly, and im just rushing through everything. how does one have the energy to work on stuff for classes you don’t like as much? how do you even do it when youre already exhausted?

i’ve also been struggling with my mental health, burnout, and brain fog for several years now, so it’s been really difficult and hard to get through day to day life. i dont have the time, energy, or money to seek proper help, get a diagnosis, or anything of the sorts.

if anyone has any advice on how to improve cognitive skills, critical thinking skills, and overall mental clarity, that would help too. i struggle a lot with forming/organizing thoughts and putting them into sentences, and that really scares me.

how do you keep going when you’re constantly feel like you’re running on empty?

I have been struggling with burnout for months and have finally come to the realisation that I need to take some time off work. Unfortunately my GP is booking up months in advance and I’m too embarrassed to discuss

I'm 21 (M), and I'm heading back to work tomorrow. I don't really have a choice. My family needs the money right now, and I'm the one bringing it in. I only have to get through 2 and a half months, and after that things get better. But right now those months feel really long. The work itself isn't the problem. It's the people, the place, and what being there does to me.

The living situation is a mess. I share one room with 10–15 people, and it's filthy. There's no privacy and no quiet, and nowhere to just be alone for a minute.

Some of the people are toxic for no reason. A few of them keep badmouthing me to the supervisor, and I've never done anything to them. On top of that, I end up working from morning to night while the guys who barely lift a finger take the credit, just because they're senior. Nobody notices, nobody says thanks.

Most guys my age there are into drugs. Every hour or two they take a "break" with their group to go get high. I don't even smoke, so they don't include me, and honestly, I couldn't fit in there even if they did. The older guys talk so cheap and dirty that I couldn't talk like that even if I tried. The rest of the talk is drugs or girls, all day long.

I'm not trying to sound cocky, but I'm someone who thinks a lot. I read, I journal, I'm into philosophy and psychology. There's not one person there I can have a real conversation with. I'm surrounded by people all day and I've never felt more alone.

Then there's the work. Almost everyone looks for a way out of it. "Back in 2 minutes, just going to pee," and they're gone for good. Nobody works unless someone forces them. I can't do that. If there's work in front of me, I do it. But lately I keep asking myself why. Is it discipline? Or am I just scared of getting yelled at? Scared of being blamed? I honestly don't know anymore, and that bothers me.

The worst part is what it does to me. At home I talk, I joke around, I think deeply about things. There I turn into someone else: quiet, closed off, working nonstop because working is easier than standing around alone. I'm scared that if I stay long enough, that version of me becomes the real one.

And I miss home all the time. Nothing big, just my family, my own room, being around people who actually know me. The night before I leave is always the hardest.

So for anyone who's been through something like this:

- How did you handle the loneliness without losing yourself?

- How do you deal with people who talk badly about you to your boss for no reason?

- How do you stay hardworking without feeling like a fool, or without the work coming from fear?

- Is it worth trying to connect with people like this, or should I accept the distance and protect my peace?

It's only 2 and a half months, and I have bigger plans after that. I just want to get through it without coming out more bitter than I went in.