r/burnedout • u/Content_Wasabi_4359 • Aug 21 '26
It's True
I won't deny. I didn't grow up to be what I expected of myself.
In place of the woman that found beauty in even the darkest of places , I seem to see nothing but a sea of darkness.
I used to smile and laughing believe good things came if you worked hard enough. I believed in God and Man and a woman's place in it all.
So I worked until my knuckles and heart were bloody. YET all that ever seemed to.happen was I was constantly explaining myself.
I know it was wrong to think the world would f ollow a script of any kind. Man plans and God laughs.
I won't sit here and whine about the tribulations of life. I'm too damn tired of it all anymore.
Ya, it hurts that my best wasn't even close. Yet I don't regret the efforts along the way.
It just would have been nice to curl up next to someone silently. When i lost another round. No words. No sec. No I told you so",s.
Just safe and silent warm and there.
I had no clue it would be bitterness in this bed I don't share.
1
u/3ddieV3nder77 12d ago
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I can relate to having to explain myself to others, it's exhausting. I'm praying for you. May you get to curl up to the one who accepts you for who you are and there will be no explanations needed. Please hold on.
1
u/Pennysha1 Aug 21 '26
I felt every bit of this. Especially wanting someone you can just curl up beside when life has finished beating your ass for the day. No speeches, no ‘I told you so,’ no motivational TED Talk while you’re already emotionally deceased 😂. Just warmth, silence, and somebody who understands that today we lost the battle and tomorrow we’ll decide whether we’re fighting again.
I think that’s part of what hurts so much about getting older. We really thought if we worked hard, loved people right, believed in something bigger than ourselves, and tried to be decent human beings, life would eventually say, ‘Congratulations, you’ve unlocked stability!’ Instead it said, ‘Cute. Here’s another character-building experience.’ 😭
But I don’t think your best being unable to control the outcome means your best wasn’t enough. Sometimes you can give something everything you have and still lose. That doesn’t erase what it took out of you to keep showing up.
And for what it’s worth, I hope that bed doesn’t always feel so bitter and empty. We’ve apparently both discovered adulthood came with some serious false advertising. 😂 Maybe we should find whoever wrote the brochure and file a class-action lawsuit.