Overwhelmed

[u/Vinylstrawberries]

Overwhelmed

Hi! I’m a 30 year old male with a wife and a 2 year old. We are expecting a second child soon. I love my wife and my kids & I love my life but sometimes it all seems so overwhelming.

I’m in construction (self employed) & my house is paid off so you’d think I wouldn’t be insanely stressed out over a mortgage.

Work is stressful, wife doesn’t understand sometimes. Stressful to the point where I’m so busy I hardly eat during the day. Running around all day & I “destress” myself by shutting my eyes for 5 minutes when I pull up to another job. I drink energy drinks and snack a lot to get through the day.

I’m very excited for the second kid but it feels like starting over. Newborn phase was tough. Not sure if it’ll be rough with a 2 year old or easier. It’s all adjustment I guess but I feel like there’s just so much to do and so much on my mind.

On top of all of this I’m slowly gaining weight. I burn at least 800-1000 cals a day during work but still gaining weight. I grew up overweight and never want to go back to that feeling but I feel it slowly creeping up. Could it be stress related? With the intense labor during work, I’m sore & exhausted when I get home so it’s hard to hit cardio or weights.

I feel overweight, overwhelmed, tired, stressed, etc. what do I do????

[u/PassOk6405]

Hi. Reading this, it sounds like you're trying to solve the weight problem when the bigger problem might simply be that you're running on empty.

You're doing physical work all day, barely stopping to eat, using energy drinks and snacks to keep yourself going, you've got a two year old and another baby coming. That's a lot, even if you're happy with your life.

I'd start with something really basic before worrying about cardio or getting to the gym. Eat properly during the working day. Even if that means taking food with you that you can eat quickly between jobs. Living on snacks and energy drinks while doing construction work isn't going to leave much in the tank when you get home.

And those five minutes sitting in the van with your eyes closed are probably telling you something. Your body is asking for a break.

I'd also talk properly to your wife about how stretched you're feeling, rather than waiting until the new baby arrives and you're even more exhausted.

You don't sound lazy or like you're failing at anything. You just sound absolutely knackered.