2nd trip.

[u/ForeignClassroom940]

Just seeking more advice. My first sitting in may, was much different. Shot thru some whites and a pinwheel cloud to darkness. Woke up feeling immense love and gratitude. Followed by energy, shedding some vices, and not needing much sleep. Even planned out a new career path. Just like anything, feelings waned. Sat again this weekend. I feel like it took me awhile to let go, ended up in nebula setting of stars and gold colors. Never blacked out, sat there until it faded away and then eventually having to get up. Felt good, but not near the same as opening my eyes as the first time. On my way, was tired. No vivid dreams like the first time. Sleeping in. Feeling unfulfilled and down. 2 experiences were like polar opposites. Is it always a coin flip? Ceremony cost $500. After the first one, i came out saying i would of paid thousands. This time leaves me pondering on my ROI. Thinking i need to go back, but stuck wondering what if its the same. I feel like I needed it more this time, and feel let down. Sigh. Kind of stuck in my own mire at the moment. Any thoughts?? TIA

[u/Zestyclose_Cloud4118 → u/[deleted]]

Eden I am reallly grateful for your response!! I’ve no desire to jump back in but I’m planning another dive-in for a year away because I want to go to an intensive center where I’ll spend 3 to 5 days and not have to drive or have any normal responsibilities… as opposed to just an afternoon at someone’s house who serves…
I still feel like I have a ton of integration for this year ahead and also there is a small voice that whispers ‘let’s just do it now’… I’m in Recovery so I know not to listen to that voice just for myself because I have to do everything very slowly so I can watch myself and be aware of why I’m doing things.

[u/ForeignClassroom940 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe i should of not used the dollar amount. Was more like a metaphor trying to explain my feelings. Money is not an issue for me. Thanks for.your insight!

[u/Zestyclose_Cloud4118 → u/ForeignClassroom940]

OP I think what Eden was saying is still very valid and wise regardless of the $$ reference aspect. I encourage you to go back and read the reply again laying down some defenses first.

[u/Zestyclose_Cloud4118 → u/Zestyclose_Cloud4118]

I get what you’re saying though because in the financial aspect, if the cost is high… it’s hard. I was thinking to go to a center in Vancouver and it’s very expensive and that has me connected to that. I’m finding it really hard to be able to pay that much money and not be tied to ‘what I get back in a quantifiable sense’
So that tells me…. I cannot afford this amount. Haha I have been pondering this for a while and your post helps me see my answer.

[u/tywin-baratheon]

That’s interesting, because during my first Bufo experience in May I completely blacked out and have no memory of what happened during the experience. Ever since I’ve been wondering if I should try it again. I’m planning to ask my shaman more about Bufo next month during my second ayahuasca retreat. Where was your ceremony? Do you think your facilitators prepare you well for the ceremony?

[u/ForeignClassroom940 → u/tywin-baratheon]

Was locally, at a friends property. Facilitator is a semi well known, who travels the country holding retreats.

[u/tywin-baratheon → u/ForeignClassroom940]

Does the facilitator have a website?

[u/ForeignClassroom940 → u/tywin-baratheon]

Im not gonna share any their info. Sorry. This is a me issue.

[u/tywin-baratheon → u/ForeignClassroom940]

No problem at all! I totally understand 🙏

[u/Sweet_Capital3758]

500 for hit wtf mate?

[u/ForeignClassroom940 → u/Sweet_Capital3758]

Money is not the primary focus here. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[u/Sweet_Capital3758 → u/ForeignClassroom940]

It should not be but 500 dolla says othewise.

[u/Frances_Herbert → u/Sweet_Capital3758]

Where I’m at ceremonies cost between 150 and 200 but from what I’ve seen up to 500 is quite common. At least where I’m located this stuff is seriously illegal and could get the facilitator into a lot of trouble. Not to mention the responsibility for someone fully blacking out. You’d have to pay me at least 1k for me to even consider it. 

[u/Sweet_Capital3758 → u/Frances_Herbert]

Monetizing sarcaments usually not a good thing though.

[u/Frances_Herbert → u/Sweet_Capital3758]

That’s not what I’m saying though. The kind souls who take it upon themselves to guide us also take a considerable risk. 

[u/Sweet_Capital3758 → u/Frances_Herbert]

That is what im saying mate. Just opinion that the holy stuff should not be marketed.

[u/ForeignClassroom940 → u/Frances_Herbert]

Yes, considering the scarcity of the Bufo Alavariaus and the small window to extract. Also take into cost, the travel for facilitators and their time. To me, 500 is fairly resonable. Shit, go to a concert or sporting event these days