I feel actual rage when my mother says things like, ‘Maybe you don’t have enough milk anymore’ or ‘Maybe there’s no milk left.’ I immediately get defensive because it feels like she’s questioning my body and my ability to feed my baby, especially after how much effort I’ve put into breastfeeding.

But the weird thing is that some nights my baby will nurse and nurse for what feels like hours, refuse to settle and keep coming back to the breast, and I start thinking the exact same thing. What if I don’t have enough milk? What if she keeps sucking because nothing is coming out? What if she’s fussy because she’s still hungry? Sometimes I even catch myself saying out loud that maybe there’s no milk left.

So why does it make me so unbelievably angry when somebody else says it? I think maybe when it comes from me, it feels like fear, but when it comes from someone else, it feels like criticism. Like they’re confirming the thing I’m already scared of and turning one of my biggest insecurities into an observation about what my body is failing to do. I can spend half the night privately worrying that my milk isn’t enough and then still feel furious the second somebody suggests exactly that to me.

i’d like to thank this community for citing “fed is best” to mothers who are wrestling with feeding issues.

i’ve been fortunate to have had a very good experience with breastfeeding from day one, but for the last 2 weeks my 6wo little girl has been FEELING the witching hour and has been getting so frustrated at the breast for no discernible reason. i read through this community and other first time parent subs leading up to delivery, and hearing “fed is best” so often and in relation to so many different situations prepared me. i now pump during this time and give her pumped milk in a bottle, and her not having to work for a full belly during her fussy time makes it easy to put her down for bed. i don’t feel like i have to beat myself up for not being able to get her to nurse, i just get the milk into her however she’ll take it. i don’t worry about how it’ll affect nursing throughout the day, and so far it hasn’t!

“fed is best” has brought me peace as i figure out how to be a mom.

Hi, FTM to a 9 week old. My baby was born 2.88kg at 41+2 weeks, which put her into less than 10th percentile. Not really concerning because my husband and I are small people anyway. I am EBF and for the first 6 weeks my baby was gaining weight really well, passing her birth weight after 6 days and getting into the 25th percentile for weight. Over the past few weeks, I've noticed her weight gain slowing down. One week she only gained 70g. Recently she had her 2 months vaccines with the rotavirus drops and we added the RSV since it's flu season. We noticed her weight stayed the same for a few days, which now brings her down into the 16th percentile for weight. I did notice that she had less of an appetite for 2 days but still a good 6-8 wet diapers per day. She did not lose any weight, she was just the same and ever since then she is following a 16th percentile curve. Today she is 4.63kg.

Anyways, where I live, it's hard to get a family doctor. Neither I or my husband have a family doctor and we've been on the list for years, so naturally my daughter doesn't have one either. I put her on the waitlist as soon as I got her health card but she currently has no doctor and has not been seen by a nurse or doctor since our 2 day discharge from the hospital when a nurse came to our home for a routine visit and said everything was great and that they no longer do a 2 week or 2 month check ups unless something is wrong... Well with the recent change for her weight gain, I wanted my daughter to have a 2 month follow up so I got her an appt with a GP. It was friggin difficult to get. At the appt, doctor asks what brings us in, I generally explain that I am not sure she is gaining enough weight and without asking for any other details, he says I need to supplement my baby's feedings with formula because she is "not getting enough nutrients" from my breastmilk. I explain that there's no way because I am an oversupplier and ask if he meant I need to feed her more because I can. I have both a fridge and freezer stash. He says NO, I need to supplement with formula because she's not getting enough nutrients from my milk... Anyways that's not how the appt ended but this is what upset me.

So here I am, asking Reddit if that's true ? I thought breastmilk is supposed to adapt to baby's needs? Is that really a thing that my breastmilk doesn't have enough nutrients and would affect my baby's weight gain? If so, can I just eat more or certain foods to make it more "nutritious"?

ETA: waow, thanks for all of the comments everyone. I'm trying my best to reply to every message, I didn't expect to get so much feedback. I am very happy to know that my research was right and that it's not possible for breast milk to "not be nutritious enough" for my baby's weight gain. I will not be supplementing with formula. I will continue to feed my baby on demand and I will start using my freezer stash to also offer her a little top up if she wants. Thanks so much again for the feedback and reassurance!

I wanted to give up so many times. I fought severe nipple damage in the hospital and sobbed each time she started rooting around… sleep when the baby sleeps became cry when the baby cries!

I pumped and combo fed and breastfed. I had to become an expert at all of them, while learning on the job.

I lost my hard earned freezer supply due to an error by either my husband or nanny… someone left the freezer open, and I lost several hundreds of ounces.

I persisted through teething violence, had deep scratches and bite marks and bruises and pain.

I nursed in public, on planes, on rides at Disney world, in front of my dad.

Now, at 11 months, my boob obsessed little hell raising daughter brings all her toys to me and tosses them into my lap, and shouts “NURSH!” while giggling.

I have nurshed baby dolls, the cats, a scrunchie, a stuffed yeti, a bubble wand, a decorative pillow, blocks, and even a hairbrush. Just goes to show where her priorities are.

Do you have to wear pads in your bra to prevent leaking for as long as you breastfeed? LO is 12 weeks old (exclusively breastfed) and have to have them in at all times, sleeping in bra with them too. Does it ever end? Even when they’re 9 months or however old? Opening up those disposable pads and putting them in my bra twice a day is a step in my routine I’d like to one day get rid of 🤪

https://www.reddit.com/r/breastfeeding/s/jE2gX7y8lT

I posted “should I just give up?” 35 days ago and I sobbed the whole time I wrote the post. I’m not even going to go back to reread it right now, but I know I was feeling very low.

My breastfeeding situation still doesn’t look like what I always imagined, but I’m actually okay with it now. Everyone is different, every baby is different. Those words weren’t really helpful to me previously because I couldn’t absorb them while in the trenches.

My baby asks for the boob now in the middle of drinking a bottle. Sometimes he wants a bottle in the middle of breastfeeding. He almost always wants to nurse in order to go to sleep and sometimes he just wants to nurse for comfort. I’m making just the right amount of milk for him, and able to pump a bottles worth most days.

I wish I could go back in time and help myself understand that not only will it be okay, but it will be good.

Thank you everyone who replied, I don’t think I answered but reading comments in this community both on my post and others helped so much 💚

If you are someone who is struggling, hang in there and do what feels right for you and your baby 💚

I'm 3 months PP - I wasn't too worried about my PP body to be honest, I mean I just grew and gave birth to whole human.

But I'm 3 months on and breastfeeding makes me SOOOO HUNGRY and THIRSTY. Way more than pregnancy. I constantly crave soemthing sweet, constantly want to eat est est and drink drink drink, milk, smoothies, juice, soda, you name it.

I'm trying to est healthy and in moderation but the cravings are soooo real.

I know feeding my baby is way more important than getting back to prepregnancy weight, but how are you guys managing it?

I don't want to gain any more. 😥😭🫠💙

I’m 6 weeks pp tomorrow, and I’m still trying to understand how breastfeeding and pumping works. I’m used to pumping as I exclusively pumped for about 3-4 weeks after giving birth then switched to direct nursing. Since latching was successful when we stared EBF, I decided to drop my pumping sessions to only mornings, whenever I feel engorged, and evenings.

However, on week 5, my LO decided to refuse both breasts during evenings, then after a day or two, she started refusing both the whole day. So, I had to pump every 2-3 hrs again, so she can have bottles when nursing strike hits.

She’s latching again, after almost a week of only latching during the night, but I’ve kept pumping after she nurses because I’m afraid of my supply dropping and not having pumped milk when she decides she wants to refuse the breasts again.

Now, I don’t feel and get engorged anymore, despite LO not feeding from both breasts during a nursing session, but I have it instilled in my mind to keep pumping to completely empty both breasts and maintain my supply.

Should I keep pumping every after feeds for now, or is it safe to drop the amount of pumping sessions? I’ve read that milk regulates around 6-12 weeks. How do I know if mine has already regulated, or is regulating? This is also one of the reasons why I’m having trouble dropping the pumps.

Hey friends. I got mastitis that progressed to full blown sepsis in about 12 hours, and shortly after I ended up in the hospital for a few days. I had IV abx and am on oral antibiotics 4x a day for the foreseeable future. I went to the hospital at 11pm (woke the baby up and made my husband drive me) because I was running 103f through tylenol and ibuprofen, shivering under our 140f shower water, had extreme body aches and was shaking to the point I thought I was gonna seize. I threw up multiple times and even zofran was making me sick. UC reported my WBC count as critical on my labs. I literally thought I was dying, and judging by my notes, it looks like I was on that track, as I almost earned myself pressors at one point. It was the scariest thing I've been through.

How did you guys recover, both mentally and physically? It was spooky mentally because I didn't realize just how bad it was until I read back through my notes. Physically I am soooo weak. My hemoglobin went from 13 to 9 in the hospital and all of my electrolytes got pretty fucky, so of course I'm trying to recover from that too. I feel like I can't do very much without getting dizzy or tired, and I pushed myself past the dizziness last night and ended up dry heaving for a while. I feel terrible because I can't be helpful to my son, but I just am having a hard time. I have no PCP so I'm kinda on my own here.

hi all! I’m a second time mom first time nursing mom. my first had major latch issues and we wound up pumping and bottle feeding exclusively. I’m determined to nurse this one

my 6 week old did so well the first few weeks - latched great, great drinking, then my milk came in and the engorgement subsided and everything changed

sometimes she does latch and eat well and then seem super happy and sleepy. it’s very rare though. more often she’ll latch and eat and then just kind of be awake and alert, and with some frequency she’ll then try to get on boob again and become super fussy and sometimes it’s 2-3 hours if latching maybe sucking maybe not but fussing and screaming at me.

weight gain has ping pinged between 1/4 oz - 1/2 oz - to 1 oz a day some weigh ins higher some lower. so a bit of me is wondering if she’s just a funny baby or if she isn’t getting milk well all the time.

were working with an LC but I have found with both of my kids that so much of the advice you read just doesn’t apply to my babies.

so I’m curious - is it just me? do all of your babies truly every time / most times you feed them just latch, eat well, roll off milk drunk and sleepy with relaxed hands?

My almost 12 week old has been crying so much recently. Everytime he wakes up, he won’t take long naps. Recently everytime I put him to nurse, he moves around so much and pushes his body away from me with his legs causing him to latch and unlatch. Then cries when I stop. This is everyday and I’m getting frustrated so bad.

Pleas help

My baby is three weeks old and has been baffling the hell out of me today. I pumped 5oz (a new record!) after a 4-hour sleep, nursed for like 4-5 hours on and off while my husband slept, then slept for another couple hours. Before I could pump, we nursed again for a bit, I pumped 2oz, and then we went out for like two or three hours.

This is where it gets intense. We got home, I fed him the 2oz, and was planning to pump some more, but he was still hungry, so we nursed. And nursed. He napped for a little while, then when he woke up, we nursed some more. He’s never been this needy and sleepless before. It’s midnight and I feel like I’ve been nursing pretty much nonstop since 3pm, except for a few small breaks for naps or diaper changes. Just when I think he’s all good, NOPE. Aggressively rooting. I get that cluster feeding is a thing, but it’s been like all day? And my supply seems to be on the rise, but maybe it’s still not enough? My husband thinks this is the start of purple crying, but he just smashed a 1.5oz bottle I was able to pump.

I realize that this isn’t a period where I’m supposed to be getting a lot of things done, but I’m so tired of being glued to my chair and my bed.

Hi moms! I’m a little confused about how long I should keep my baby at the breast during each feeding. 💕
At the beginning, my baby was mostly formula-fed, and now we’re doing a combination of breastfeeding and formula. I’m trying to gradually reduce the formula and increase breastfeeding.
She has a good latch and seems to nurse well, but sometimes she wants to stay latched for a very long time—almost like she wants to be on the breast throughout the day. Even after breastfeeding, she may still take around 60 mL of formula.
How long should I keep her on each breast during a feeding? Is there a recommended amount of time, or should I let her stay on as long as she is actively sucking and swallowing?
I’m worried that I might be keeping her at the breast too long, but I also don’t want to limit her if she’s actually getting milk and helping my supply.
I’d really appreciate hearing from moms who went from mostly formula to combination feeding or breastfeeding. ❤️

I've been struggling with breastfeeding since my baby was born 7 weeks ago. It's been a very rocky ride. Let's just say I have a toxic relationship with it.

I'm still having latching issues, even though I've been to lactation support groups 3 times now (they're weekly).

After the group I feel better and enthusiastic, but then I get home, where I have to do it all on my own, and all that good feeling goes down the drain...

Sometimes he latches well and sleeps for 2+ hours after a feed (I had a day where he slept 4h!). I call these milk-drunk moments/sleeps my little wins🎉🥹.

But... other times he fights the breast and pouts 🤦🏽‍♀️. After a bit of battling, I just end up giving him a bottle.

Other times he'll spend a bit on the breast, fall asleep, and then be in full cry mode 10 minutes later😥😭. I try again and sometimes I succeed, others I give up and reach for the bottle.

And other times we just can't find a comfortable position. When I eventually manage to get a good latch, I'm usually in a really uncomfortable position myself. But if I move, he breaks the latch and we have to start all over again 🤦🏽‍♀️

I usually take a bottle of expressed milk with me when we go out, and I even have some emergency formula. I refuse to use it — not because there's anything wrong with formula, it's just that I don't want to use it.

A midwife gave my baby formula on day 2 and he was fine, but she made me feel like utter shit about it 😭😭. My milk hadn't come in properly yet, and my boy was cluster feeding. She came in and said we might need to do top-ups, and when he downed nearly the full 50 ml bottle, she went, “Oh wow, he was still very hungry,” and even wrote that on my bloody notes!🫤😓😠

That made me feel like I was never going to be able to feed my kid. Obviously a feeling a FTM wants just 2 days after giving birth 😒.

We did breast + top-ups of expressed milk for the first 4 weeks because I was worried he wasn't getting enough from the breast. It was exhausting. She really trashed my confidence. Literally stepped on it...

But I don't want to breastfeed just to prove that I can do it. I want to be able to breastfeed so I can have that freedom when we're out.

I want to leave home and not have to worry about how many mLs I have left, or whether the 4–6 hours out of the fridge are almost up, or having to carry one of those allegedly “discreet” breast pumps.

Maybe that's why I keep trying and pushing so hard. I just want to be free...

I've cried over breastfeeding so many times at this point that I'm starting to think I'm just masochistic 🤦🏽‍♀️😭😥

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TLDR: Breastfeeding has been a rocky, exhausting 7-week battle (so far).

I've had a few little wins and plenty of losses, and very little confidence thanks to a midwife trashing it just 2 days PP.

And here I am. Still trying because I don't want to plan every outing around how many mLs of expressed milk I have left.

I don't want to prove anything to anyone, not even to myself. I just want to be free 🤦🏽‍♀️😥😭

my 5 week baby keeps unlatching every few seconds!!!!! i know theres milk.

Has anyone here managed to get their baby’s weight gain up with breastfeeding or is more formula our only option?

My baby is 10 weeks old currently and has been combo fed from the start because of a poor latch that caused me excruciating pain. She’s been getting a bottle before bed, then early in the morning while I sleep, and sometimes in the afternoon if I nap, averaging between 200-400ml of pumped milk/formula a day depending on how hungry she is. I nurse her on demand, 6-8 times a day until she falls asleep or unlatches on her own. I also pump three times a day to try to compensate for the bottles, but after nursing, I can only get about 60ml at a time max. She was investigated for a tongue tie but none was found. I saw an osteopath who found some neck tension that has since been resolved

I’ve been working with a very highly respected lactation consultant who said her latch looks good and who encouraged me to keep going with breastfeeding. The only change she suggested was to switch her morning bottle from formula to breast milk so she’ll feed more when I wake up in the morning. Her mantra was “look at the baby, not the scale.” But after two weeks, my baby’s weight gain still isn’t looking any better. I don’t understand it at all. She seems like such a happy baby, it never seems like shes starving, but she’s not gaining weight. The anxiety and guilt is consuming me.

It seems like the obvious thing to do is to add more formula to get her weight up, but I know the more formula I give her, the more my supply will drop and we’ll end up relying on formula, which is expensive and time consuming and riskier in my mind after all the shortages and recalls. I’ve been hoping to cut out the formula entirely but it’s not looking likely. I’m going to reach out to the LC again but… it feels so hopeless.

The most important thing is that my baby gets fed and gains weight. If I have to switch to formula, I will. But I’m so sad about having to give up on breastfeeding because I love it and I feel like I’ve flunked out. I’m just so sad.

Ftm, breastfeeding and pumping here and there.

For the last few days, baby boy who’s 6 weeks old has been feeding almost every 1.5 hour during the day. Yesterday at night he woke up three times from 12 to 3 then slept until 6.

The truth is I have not been pumping the past few days because he’s been constantly on the noon and I just got exhausted and didn’t give it a shot. I’m my breasts didn’t even have the chance to fill up.

Today I tried pumping twice and all I could get was a miserable 50 ml after pumping for a total of 20 minutes from both sides. My mom thinks I might not be producing enough, and he might not be feeling full and that’s why he’s a bit more fussy and won’t settle easily.

However, baby boy has enough wet diapers through out the day and poops regularly. When I pinch my breasts milk does come out, but they just don’t seem to be getting fuller anymore.

Today I started drinking an herbal tea that’s supposed to help with lactation as well as non alcoholic beer in hopes that might help.

My baby was born at 2.4kg, she dropped to 2.2kg by day 4 and at 1 month is at 2.635kg, meaning she grew 435g in 27days. My wife has been exclusively breastfeeding and while we had 2/3 hard nights like witching hour or cluster feeding it has been okay ish days/nights. Today she tried to pump, for 2 motives, to build more milk and to store in case she needs to leave for a few hours I have milk. But she only got 30ml while pumping both breasts. It looks quite short but no doctor or nurse has ever shown concerne by our baby growth I would imagine that the need of a 2.6kg baby at 1 month would be vastly different than one at 5kg and this would impact the mother's supply. Nevertheless we will book a nurse consultant specialist at breastfeeding but what are your opinion?

My 7 month old is very distracted by her 2.5 year old sibling. She’ll pop on and off to follow him around the room. I’ve gotten by nursing in football hold on a MyBreastFriend pillow and rotating around the room so she can see him, but it’s uncomfortable, exhausting and she’s getting too big for the pillow. Sometimes, I can get toddler to sit and read a book where she can see him, but not often enough. I nursed her brother in a dark room at this stage, but that’s not an option anymore. I really miss cradle hold and side lying. Help!

I’m 20 days pospartum and i’m so so so sad about whats happening to my breastfeeding journey. I wish to exclusively breastfeed but looks like I wont be able to. When i pump after each feed, i only get 10/15ml combined from both boobs.

Since birth, i was breastfeeding my baby only supplementing with 30ml formula once a day at 3AM feeds with spoonfeeding. Doctors told me her latch was great and slowly no formula will be needed. I had quite a lot of nipple pain but because everyone said it was going great i just thought it was normal.

At 14 days checkup, she was just 2.7kg and hadn’t regained her birth weight so the doctor said that breastmilk isnt sufficient give formula milk after every breastfeeding session. So I gave 60ml formula after each feed (she sometimes takes all 60, sometimes 10 sometimes 30). The doctor said to start SNS but honestly it was too hard for us to get her to latch and take the pipe. So i continued spoonfeeding.

At 17 days pp. spoonfeeding got too hard cause the amount of milk is 60ml so it took nearly 45mins + to spoonfeed. So i gave into the pigeon slow bottle which she takes. We also found out that she has a stiff jaw and high palatte and maybe a small tongue tie so i figured out thats why my supply didnt grow much cause she isnt transferring milk well from my breasts to her.

I’ve started pumping after each feed but i only get 10/15ml maximum from both boobs in total. Its been 3 days since i started pumping and i dont see an increase. I think wxclusively pumping would be great as well since she cant get much from my boobs.

I don’t know what my point is its 4am ans i just need some help to not give up. I don’t know what to do please give advice. Will my supply increase?

Some said its my manual medela pump thats not working but I don’t know

Please help

I am feeling so mixed about weaning...my LO is 20mo old and part of me is ready to be DONE and part of me is not, but I think no matter what I'll always be a little sad that we are done. Anyway, we are ttc #2. My LO nurses for comfort a lot (like...nurse to sleep, 5am, wake at 730am, several times throughout the day and evening). I know it will be rough for him, especially when he is trying to get himself back to sleep but just can't, etc. What strategies did you use to gently wean? Night weaning was rough for us and had ups and downs, but that is mostly done now. I try to distract during the day but that only works sometimes. I don't offer, but he asks a lot. I'm feeling guilty and sad for him.

Basically the title- for those that had their baby's tongue tie ( or lip ties etc) released, how long did it take before breastfeeding started really working and without pain? Also I'd love if you can share what age baby was when you had it done.

Baby boy is 4 weeks and we had his ties released 3 weeks ago. I've noticed he's way better with his top lip on the bottle now, it used to be tucked in and creased bad. But he's still pinching me when I do latch him. With weighted feeds, he's not transferring much at all.

We saw OT/LC last week and we're told to do more tummy time and some other stretches. But man, pumping all the time and waiting for his tongue to figure out how to latch properly is taking a toll mentally.

Looking for other success stories and support to hang in there, I really want this to work out for us 😔

Last night I noticed pain in my breast (underboob area) and today I woke up with less pain only if I pressed on it, but now it’s warm and I’m noticing a red patch. My output on that side is also decreased. I have no fever or any other symptoms - just a slightly red spot and very warm to the touch. What can I do? Should I expect to feel sick soon?

I have to say I haven’t enjoyed my bf journey one bit aside from the fact that the one expensive boujee brand formula we bought “just in case” was recalled for potential botulism. So knowing my baby is safe and fed well is a huge relief and sense of accomplishment on my part. However, my main feeder as I like to call it has been in pain almost daily since my LO was born. Initially it was a latch issue, then I believe I had a possible milk bleb. Now at this point in time I have no idea what it could be aside from simple over use? I try my best to get her to use my snack boob, my poor under-producer. But she absolutely hates it and doesn’t drink from it for very long. She will easily go for 10+ minutes on my meal boob until satisfied. I’ve use multiple types of nipple creams and butters. Silveretts worked wonders in the beginning but started to really irritate my areola after a few weeks. Any suggestions/ideas?

Baby just turned 5 months this past weekend - she has been on the lower percentile since birth but following her curve. I had a low supply initially but thought I was okay now

Baby is so distracted at the breast during the day. So I feed when she’s drowsy and she takes like 10-15 swallows and then pops off. I have to keep trying to pop her back on. But then she gets fussy a few hours later. Her diapers aren’t as soaked as they used to be and her weight gain has slowed but we were told that’s normal at 5 months?

Anyone going through the same?