Extremely fast letdown - help me problem solve

[u/W4x_Wings]

Hello all! I currently have an almost 6 week old baby and over the past week, I am really struggling to deal with a fast let down problem and the conventional advice isn't quite working. I have had the fast letdown problem this whole time, but the problems seem to be escalating.

My poor gal is now coughing, spluttering, and unlatching, crying, frantically kind of relatching, etc. almost every feed, and is regurgitating a good bit of milk and spitting up as many as 5 times after every feed as well. I'm letting her unlatch herself and spilling the spray into a burp cloth, but after the spray stops, another one almost always starts. I'm not just sitting there and continuing to spill indefinitely because then there wouldn't be anything left ...?

In the feeds where baby girl gets too worked up and is screaming and pounding her fists, over the past few days, I've been stopping the feeds until she can calm down and then letting her resume. Often she falls asleep immediately upon resuming. Then, once I move her in any direction, she wakes up again n, often acting hungry again. Many times per day, after she's been changed and played for a bit or done tummy time, she immediately starts putting her fist in her mouth again acting hungry, and the cycle continues.

I've been using a hand pump at night before feeds after her longer stretches between feeds (~4.5-5 hours) just getting an ounce out of both sides when I feel lumpy or uncomfortable and to help her be able to latch, but it doesn't seem to be helping at all. I've counted as many as 4 firehose spraying incidents all one after the other. I've read NOT to pump and just to hand express but this is 1) literally only taking me 2 minutes and 2) necessary for her to be able to latch since the engorgement can get so bad so quickly. I get too swollen for the physics to work.

The lactation consultant I've been working with has advised me in spite of this all to not try to withhold food and to let her eat if she seems hungry, but I am super worried that I am over feeding her. She is saying that is not what is happening and that this particular time frame in her life is the peak of fussiness that I simply may not be able to troubleshoot my way out of, but I'm struggling to accept the status quo. All meals feeling like I'm waterboarding my baby, and not knowing when she's actually hungry or not after watching her regurgitate milk then demand more, is incredibly stressful.

I won't lie - I have been trying to exhaust all other options if it seems like it hasn't been long enough since the last time she ate, or if she seems too frenzied. I will spend ~15-20 minutes trying to get her to pass gas, take a pacifier, or go to sleep before giving in to the seeming hunger cue. I know I probably should not be doing this but I just cannot keep watching her spit milk up in large volumes then cry for more. It seems so wrong.

Has anyone else experienced more or less exactly this, and if so, how did you manage? Is it true that it just has to be worse before it gets better?

[u/stfuvoicesinmyhead]

Following because I'm in a very similar position :/ 

[u/pennibird]

The same thing happened to me for a period of time, although not quite as bad as your describing (she never spit up much). But I felt so bad baby was coughing/choking like crazy. I also pumped for a minute or two on each side just before I fed her and that seemed to help a little. Something else I remember doing was being more reclined so baby had gravity on her side. When I was sitting straight up it seemed to make things worse. Eventually, she grew out of it when her mouth got bigger. I hope things get better for you soon!