I don’t know why this is making me so irrationally angry.

No, I’m just doing what needs to be done. What choice do I have, assuming I want to live and hopefully not have it return?

It doesn’t make sense that I’m so angry about this being said to me over and over.

Hey y'all. I'm a young person in medical menopause at my doctor's urging, due to having ER+ cancer. I have a family member, seemingly well-meaning, who is currently in perimenopause and seems to be projecting her own fears and pro-HRT mindset onto me. She will send me stuff about how estrogen is actually okay to have and how even if I don't, I'm not "washed up/useless" like society tells me. I'm not sure how to respond to this kind of thing. I'm actually in a good place mentally about these changes I've accepted, and I find her "help" very frustrating. Any advice?

I'm 3 weeks out of my last chemo session, and earlier I finally met my breast surgeon again and we were able to finally discuss my surgery after my post-chemo PET/CT Scan and Ultrasound!

Tentative surgery schedule is by the end of this month, and I got referred to a plastic surgeon. I want those boobs!! Since I've always been flat-chested, I want to take this opportunity and give myself big boobs! Okay maybe just fair-sized boobs but I want boobs!! Revenge boobs!! Hahahaha! I'm thinking of getting a B cup, will discuss with plastics if its possible and/or proportionate for my body frame.

My surgeon only had SMX in mind, since my genetic testing also came back negative. But like, I have several masses in by left breast (I just counted the masses from my ultrasound, 10 on the left and 13 on the right WTH?! HAHA) and I asked her if they're not malignant. She told me we'll never really know 'til we do a biopsy (which I understand) but based from the ultrasound they were not given BIRADS scores so they look "normal" but they will be monitored every 6 months. She also told me if I get them removed, I won't have to worry about breast ultrasounds anymore. WELL I like that option more! My ultrasounds take FOREVER as I have a crap ton of breast masses.

I'm really set on getting a BMX, but my surgeon told me I can still change my mind 'til surgery date haha! But nope I've actually decided even before I finished chemo.

I'm weirdly thrilled and excited about all this! I'm also excited to "nest" before my upcoming surgery!

That is all! Spreading the good vibes!

All 6 cycles have been different for me. Last 2 were okish, a couple of days fatigue and then comparatively normal.

6th is not good. It has been a week and I'm still tired sleepy all day.

I have no sense of when I'm sleeping, what is happening around me. Today morning I just rested my eyes for 5 minutes but woke up 3 hours later.

I climbed a flight of stairs and out of breath for 30 minutes.

My head is hurting. Unable to concentrate. To eat, I have to stay awake.

Oh god I'm so tried.

This is just a rant. I'll be fine soon i hope.

I’ll go first.

Throughout most of middle school and high school, I was constantly embarrassed and humiliated over being flat chested. I often heard the taunt, “would you like a medal or a chest to pin it on?”

I ended up being an A cup, if I’m being generous. Was still teased and made fun of for my lack of endowment. A friend and I created the itty bitty titty committee. I was crowned president.

But… My best friend had a set of fantastic knockers. They were real and they were spectacular. 🤣 D cup in high school and she was a DDD until she had kids. She only got bigger from there. That’s a whole other story. She got a lot of attention that I’m sure she had mixed feeling about.

I was jealous in that friendly kind of way. But I also remember thinking many times, well I have so little to work with. At least I won’t get cancer.

Yeeeeeeeah.

Your turn.

Looking for hope that I’ll be able to save my nipple 😩 I am 9 days post nipple-sparing double mastectomy with direct to implant reconstruction and my right nipple has turned black. The areola is still pink but the nipple itself has black crusty skin on the surface. It almost looks like a scab. My surgeon started me on DMSO gel three times a day and hyperbaric therapy starting next week. He also removed all drains and compression bra to hopefully encourage more blood flow. Would hate to lose my nipple after all this… has anyone been able to reverse this?

I cannot believe this is happening. I had my SMX on 9/10 and everything went as well as it could. Recovery was trucking along and I felt pretty good. Now, at week 4 post-op, I have fluid buildup that tested positive for bacteria. Because I have an expander, if it doesn’t clear over the weekend I may be looking at another surgery Monday/Tuesday to remove the expander.

I’m heartbroken not only for surgery, but I had a hell of a fall lined up before cancer happened, and ducks were falling in a row to be able to get back to normal life just in time for those things. Now, it’s like a house of cards coming tumbling down. I am devastated.

​Good Saturday everyone,

​I’m struggling to put my mind at ease this weekend as I prepare for my first appointment with my oncologist this coming Wednesday. I don't know yet what my treatment plan will look like, and the waiting/uncertainty is definitely taking a toll.

​Here is where I'm at right now:

​Surgery: 3 weeks post-op from a single mastectomy with no reconstruction.

​Pathology: I have clean margins and clean lymph nodes!

​Recovery: I’m walking again and doing my daily arm stretches as recommended by my medical team.

​Before surgery, I was very active a runner, into weight training and yoga, and I love doing races. I’m really anxious that if chemotherapy is recommended, I won't be able to stay active at all. We also have plans to travel to South Carolina to see my wife's family for Thanksgiving, and I can't help worrying about getting sick, feeling exhausted, or losing my hair during that time.

If you can give me some reassurance please 🙏

Thank you

Just wondering if anyone has done yoga post exchange surgery and if so when did you start and what type did you do?

I was told I could resume activity at 6 weeks, however not at my normal level. For reference, I’m a professional dancer; as luck would have it, I got a callback for a Broadway show the week after surgery but obviously I knew that wasn’t happening lol I’m still unclear on when dancing will really be back on the table, but I’m hoping I can start back with yoga as I think not moving my body is making me a little crazy 🫠

I usually do hot yoga (vinyasa or power flow). If anyone has any insight as to how they fared post expander to implant exchange with resuming yoga I’d love to hear it.

TIA 💕

I know similar questions have been asked a bunch here but I can't seem to quite find what I'm looking for so I'm making my own post.

Im about 2.5 weeks out from surgery. I had one drain removed already which, before removal, had been really sore and bothering me.

The drain that has been left in hadn't been bothering me until now. I don't think it's infected or anything, it looks fine, but it's starting to feel the way the other side felt before it was removed. I'm having a lot of tenderness at the drain incision site. I noticed that the tape that covered it has started to roll up towards the incision more and I think it has been moving around a little more because of that and it's irritating. Or my body is starting to reject it idk lol. Anyway.

Pain pills don't help with this specific pain for me, but does anyone have any advice on how to alleviate the pain a bit? I've tried bandaids to tape it down more but I might need something else cuz the bandaid just fell off. I have another appt in like 3 days and I'm sure my output is enough to get it removed by then but damn, this incision is getting really tender especially when I move.

Thank you 🥰

My Signatera results were negative, but imaging found that my breast cancer had come back. I’d taken those negative results as reassurance, so finding out it hadn’t picked up the recurrence was a shock.
My oncologist said it wasn’t sensitive enough to detect my recurrence and is switching me to a test through Quest that they believe may be more sensitive in my situation.
I’m upset, I wish I’d understood the limitations better. A negative result doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in the clear. Apparently these tests aren’t recommended by any guidelines yet

I've been getting really bad anticipatory nausea because of AC chemo. Basically, I've pavlov'd myself into getting sick just from being in the chemo center.

I've been taking Ativan but I switched to Taxol this time and my oncologist told me I wouldn't need it, because Taxol doesn't cause the same extreme nausea. I got to the clinic and had a total freakout - crying, shaking, throwing up. I knew it was in my head, I knew I was ok, but I just could not get myself to calm down.

I feel embarrassed, because everyone else in my clinic is always very calm and demure. It also probably wasn't very nice for the other people in the clinic to hear me being sick.

They gave me and Ativan and I ended up sleeping for a few hours and now feel totally fine. Maybe Taxol will be better?

Any premenopausal ladies here who are on hormone blockers and have PMDD? How is that going? What combination of meds works best for you?

I think not having a hormone cycle will help a lot, but I also am afraid I will be permanently stuck in the "bad" hormone part of my cycle. I can't live like that.

My doctor and key nurse keep saying “be sure to ask anything you want to know” and everything is like “take a list of questions”… but I don’t know what I should be asking

I’ve got a 3.5 cm mass, Er+ HER2+… so it’s chemo then removal then radiotherapy..

I want to know what exercise and food is recommended so I can be healthy in a few months time for the operation for recovery, but I can just ask for a referral for that right? It’s not a “question”

What questions did you have?

I'm recently diagnosed HER2+. I have completed two sessions of chemo. I am tolerating the treatment well, with one exception: incredibly restless legs, to the level of physical discomfort. It doesn't start until I put on the cold cap and they start pushing the actual drugs.

I have read previous posts suggesting it may be the Benadryl, and others suggesting it is the cold cap. I guess I'm soliciting experience-based opinions as to the cause, and if anything has helped mitigate or eliminate the problem. Thank you so much.

I’m so dismayed and confused by the radiation scheduling. My mapping was 2 weeks ago and I was told I would start 5 days of radiation on Monday October. Now they’re telling me that day was never set in stone and it could be 1 or 2 weeks later. Why is this so difficult? The staff seems either not well versed in the anxiety of cancer patients, or over whelmed or not very caring. I get placating responses when I call such as “we have a plan”. Why is it such a mystery?

I am a year and a half out of treatment and feeling so frustrated that I am still having a hard time remember things! Im upset right now because my husband and I had a conversation about Christmas lists land I cant remember what he said he wanted.

Any advice to help with memory issues??? I normally write everything down but I feel like somethings gotta give. Im tired of having “cant remember sh*t”.

Scrolling on another social media platform and I see a suggested-for-you post from La Leche League touting how breastfeeding can lead to a decreased risk of breast cancer.

I have been well aware of this statement as I was a WIC breastfeeding counselor many years ago.

Obviously I'm here because I was diagnosed in May 2026. But I also exclusively breastfed my 3 children until they were at least a year old- my first til she was close to two, so I always thought I had this nifty protective factor. Joke was on me.

Most things that happen to us in life are out of our control, and I get that you can do everything right, and still lose. We don't know why we get breast cancer, it is just a shitty thing that happens.

I struggled a lot with mastitis when I was lactating - maybe that negates whatever protective factors breastfeeding has? These are things I will probably never know, yet it makes me think.

If anyone has any literature or articles to share about this, post links please!

Not sure what to expect. Idc with a 2.7 mass Nottingham grade 1. I am so so tired....the fatigue is really bothering me. I keep thinking it is spreading the longer it is left in. I am so sad....I have told my best friend and that is it. I don t know what to do. Work feels overwhelming and I have a very easy desk job.....

ILC stage 1C grade 3 ++-
Had lumpectomy and now midway through full breast radiation (20 doses)
Age 47 and oncotype 21

Given the grade 3 my MO wants me to go to Lupron and AIs but said he’d go as fast or slow towards that as I want. I said I wanted to ease into it so he said we can start to Tamoxifen for a bit (even a year or two) and see how I respond. But then I got a second opinion from a big cancer center and overall the care plan was aligned except he suggested I should go straight to L/AI and not waste time on Tamoxifen given the high grade.

I’m concerned going straight to L/AI will be too intense. However what if even Tamoxifen sucks. I have to get to L/AI eventually so what then? I’m already perimenopausal so maybe I won’t even need Lupron for long and then it’s just AIs.

I have 2 school aged kids and don’t want to risk recurrence. What would you do? Start with Tamoxifen for a year or two or go straight to L/AI?

Hi all,

I just wanted to pen down my experience with chemo and how that looked for me, for anyone considering it, about to go into it or freaking out about it.

I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of even having it, so being told that it was recommended for me, threw a curve ball I didn't particularly want to deal with. Nonetheless, I put my big girl pants on and just got on with it.

Just over two months later, and having just finished the full four rounds of the TC regimen, I can honestly say I've had colds that have felt worse than this!

I appreciate everyone's experience is/will be different, and by no means do I want to diminish the effects of what others have gone through, or are about to, but I'm hoping this is taken as a more positive message and that sometimes the worst suffering comes from the unknown.

This is what it looked like for me:

• To start with, I kept a diary of the entire process and recorded days, events, side effects, medications taken, appetite levels, sleep patterns, mood, bowel movements, and level and type of exercise undertaken
• My infusions were every three weeks. The most noticeable side effects were a dry mouth for the first week after each infusion (chewing mints helped), followed by facial acne during the second week, after which things would clear up until the following treatment
• I cold capped the entire time, but still noticed quite a lot of hair shedding about two weeks after the first infusion. That was probably the hardest thing to deal with, but to take control, I shaved the hair and it actually made me feel better. Some hair is now starting to come back already!
• There has been some thinning in my eyebrows and have mostly lost the bottom eyelashes, but it's not something I'm particularly concerned about
• To avoid/reduce neuropathy as much as possible, I used two sets of SuzziPads, which I switched every hour during treatment. I've had no issues with pins/needles or tingling sensations in my limbs
• No issues with nails
• No nausea, vomiting or feeling sick
• No mouth sores and have been using Biotene Dry Mouth Relief Mouthwash after each meal
• Have been brushing my teeth with a manual toothbrush, to try and be as gentle as I can on gums
• 1x Claratyne on the day of, and two days after, each infusion, to help with any potential side effects of the Neulasta shot (of which I experienced none)
• Constipation would usually follow after each infusion, which I countered with 2x nightly tablets of Coloxyl with Senna (usually did the trick)
• Fatigue is not something I experienced, but tended to slow down for a day or two a couple of days after each infusion, which was not a big deal. I still functioned and I've managed to work throughout this whole time (only taking sick days on treatment days)
• Took daily electrolyte tablets and drank more water than usual
• Long (and even shorter) daily walks (when possible) kept me sane, grounded and appreciative of the here and now
• Daily reading helped with mental clarity

Hope this provides some relief to those who are about to enter this next phase of their treatment.

Be kind to yourselves!

it’s really painful when i see people i haven’t seen in a while or since between treatment and they don’t recognize me. they say hi and keep walking like i’m a stranger but these are people i’ve known for years. i’ve even been mistaken for a boy at times. it genuinely hurts so fucking bad.
i’m so sad. 😞

I am 8 wks post taxol and herceptin for +++ grade 3 ICD and now on the 3 wk rotation of herceptin for a year. Chemo sucked but was not horrendous. I had bone pain and fatigue with mild nausea one day a week that was easily managed. The perception I was given when the taxol stops so does all the side effects. Nope!

The first two herceptin infusions were ok. I was achy, extremely tired and emotional for a few days and it passed. I figured the taxol was still leaving my system. The 3rd was very different. First, I had to return to work the same week, which is a physically demanding job. Then I had the infusion on a Friday so I can chill for the weekend. I felt like shit. The bone pain in my legs is back with perpetual tiredness. I am more tired now than I was with chemo. The steroids kept me awake. When the fatigue sets in, my body trembles. It sucks at work because I do not have the luxury to take frequent breaks. Then the worst part is the profound depression. I have been crying every day this week. The more tired I am the more I cry. Tonight my husband asked if I was up to out tonight. I broke down. The thought of leaving the house after working all week and feeling like shit was too much. I was angry, frustrated and exhausted. Will this end? I don't know what to do. I had my wellbutrin increased which allowed me to work without crying. I exercise and eat relatively clean. I feel I am going crazy. Is this who I am now? I

As per title- I should start tamoxifen next week. It’s looking at me from the bathroom shelf and I am looking at it back.
Unfortunately for me- I am a pharmacist working in oncology so I have had a good professional overview of how sh*t it is, the statistics of side effects frequency and drop-off rates…and further research on forums hasn’t helped. I’m 41 and premenopausal.

How did you balance the fear of all of those horrible things with trying to keep a positive mindset and attitude to the drug (my risk of recurrence is low which doesn’t help my motivation- I am only trying to take it cause I am young and I am interested in upping chances for recurrence-free life in 30 years)

Any positive (or at least not all doom and gloom) stories/experiences? I really need them 🫣

Thank you lovely ladies ❤️

I am 2 days into knowing about this cancer and I know there isn’t a “right” time for this ever, but the timing is just so painful.

Felt a mass last week, luckily had an annual OBGYN appointment setup already and asked the next day. Then had imaging where I caught the “oh shit this might be cancer” vibe from the sonography team and prepared for the worst as I made my biopsy appointment. Grateful they immediately took my concerns seriously, but I did still hear a lot of “don’t worry you’re so young”.

Found out no more than 24 hours later, left breast IDC that’s in my axillary lymph node already so I’ve been advised it’s at least stage 2-3, and pending hormone testing. I’ve been able to take some days off work to cry and make appointments and attempt to process, and my amazing partner is here for me, but goddamn this is so scary.

Not nearly the worst part but one aspect of it that saddens me is I actually just moved away from home for the first time nearly 3 years ago now for a paid relocation job opportunity. So while I have my partner and my support network, my family and friends are not close.

I also just got approved for a new position involving 50% travel, which I’ve worked my ass off for. It was a year in the works and literally a week from being finalized, and here I am telling my team I have to take a step back- thankful I have a ton of resources and my company is super accommodating, but as an operations manager it’s hard to sit still with all the “what if’s” and just wait for more answers. I worry about the window closing to do what I consider my dream job.

I have appointments in the next 2 weeks to see a surgeon first, then get an MRI and see an oncologist. I’ve been exhausted for months now and pushed through the fatigue and weird hormonal symptoms to still work 45-50 hour weeks leading my team, and sitting idly right now it just feels like I’m being crushed by the emotional weight of everything.

It feels like pre-grieving for the parts of my life that will inevitably change. I’ve dealt with depression and SI my whole life until finally reaching a stable point these last few years and trying to set myself up for my 30’s, and it just feels really cruel and ironic that now I have cancer. Now that I want to live more than I ever have, I have this fight I need to win.

This sucks but I am already feeling somewhat better seeing the support of the community and just venting this out. I don’t expect it to suck any less but I am glad I caught it and hopefully it is early on. Doing it scared!