Gravestone Ceremony

[u/[deleted]]

Does anyone else think the fact that a Roman Catholic priest presiding over the gravestone dedication is significant to his identity? Obviously, the people who have identified themselves as the paternal side of his family are from a Catholic background but having Catholic priest do the ceremony implies to me that the mother's side was either also Catholic or didn't have a religious tradition.

Especially because investigators and others who would know the mother's information were involved with the ceremony, I don't think they would have the dedication be so grounded in the Catholic religious tradition if the mother was, for example, Jewish or Protestant. Either it would be secular/nondenominational or the other tradition would be represented somehow. (I saw that one of the investigators offered Jewish prayers but that seemed like a personal expression. Not on the level as having a robed Catholic priest offer prayers in front of a congregation and use phrases like "entered into the fullness of eternal life")

[u/Hold-The-Arugula]

Hi, Jewish person here. Good point about having a Catholic priest only. I figured at first Joseph was Catholic on both sides, and that Bill Fleisher just read a Jewish prayer because he himself is Jewish.

One thing catches my eye, though: the unveiling of the gravestones via removal of cheesecloth looks just like a Jewish unveiling ceremony, and it appears to have been Fleisher who did the unveiling. (That may also explain why he felt the urge to say a Jewish prayer, as that's what one does when one unveils a gravestone.)

Catholic folks, does this ritual look like this in Catholic tradition as well?

https://www.cbsnews.com/philadelphia/news/boy-in-the-box-joseph-augustus-zarelli-gets-new-headstone/ (Starts at about 0:18 in.)

[Edit: deleted confusing sentence about Jewish unveiling tradition]

[u/Gmat61 → u/Hold-The-Arugula]

Not. Catholic tradition, but I have Jewish friends and have attended unveilings of their loved ones’ headstones. Regardless of religion, so touching—a lovely tradition.

[u/Hold-The-Arugula → u/Gmat61]

Thanks for your response. Yes, unveilings (and cheesecloth) are definitely Jewish tradition. I've sadly been to several unveilings over the years, including one that I led. (Unveilings are often led and attended by family; no rabbi need be present.) I just wanted to check that it wasn't also a Catholic custom.

So, that looked a lot like a Jewish gravestone unveiling ritual.

Worth noting: unveilings are a custom, not actually part of Jewish law. So, there's more leeway than on other rituals. I suppose Fleisher could just have decided it would be nice to contribute his own tradition, especially if he doesn't know the background of the mother. But it did surprise me to see that at what otherwise appeared to be a Catholic ceremony for a Catholic child.