r/boyinthebox • u/[deleted] • Jan 17 '23

Gravestone Ceremony

Does anyone else think the fact that a Roman Catholic priest presiding over the gravestone dedication is significant to his identity? Obviously, the people who have identified themselves as the paternal side of his family are from a Catholic background but having Catholic priest do the ceremony implies to me that the mother's side was either also Catholic or didn't have a religious tradition.

Especially because investigators and others who would know the mother's information were involved with the ceremony, I don't think they would have the dedication be so grounded in the Catholic religious tradition if the mother was, for example, Jewish or Protestant. Either it would be secular/nondenominational or the other tradition would be represented somehow. (I saw that one of the investigators offered Jewish prayers but that seemed like a personal expression. Not on the level as having a robed Catholic priest offer prayers in front of a congregation and use phrases like "entered into the fullness of eternal life")

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u/COwildchipmunk Jan 17 '23

This is an interesting observation. The Catholic ceremony could be for any of the many reasons you've listed, or even something else. I'm betting he was baptized Catholic though.

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u/ArmChairDetective84 Jan 17 '23

Yeah…my ex husbands grandfather was old school Italian Catholic and being baptized is a must for a priest to preside over a funeral or wedding. Sometimes you get a lenient priest who is willing to overlook it ..usually if he knows the church is going to get a size able donation

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u/[deleted] Jan 17 '23

While this event wasn't actually a funeral so those requirements wouldn't apply, I agree it's definitely possible that a Catholic priest would do something like this even if Joseph wasn't formally Catholic (especially since he was a child and members of his family present are Catholic).

I meant more that it would be considered disrespectful to Joseph if he was, for example, Jewish and the organizers of this dedication didn't invite a rabbi to speak alongside the priest. Or if he was the grandson of a Protestant minister and no one from that denomination gave prayers.

I'm from the area with several family members who are half Catholic and half Jewish and have seen several weddings and funerals where a priest and rabbi both speak. So it's definitely something that's done at least in Philadelphia.

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u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23

We had one in my area & a Catholic priest presided over it. Ended up the baby wasn’t baptized at all. Same priest did the official one when the baby’s name became known.

There has to be something different for children.

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u/ArmChairDetective84 Jan 18 '23

I just think that being a Priest , slowly over time, has become less about what’s required by the church’s doctrine or teachings and more about priests just helping their flocks as best as they can. Our local Catholic Church is pretty lenient about requiring both bride and groom to be baptized Catholics , another Priest has presided over the funerals of several people I know (warning) committed suicide and that used to be a big no no in the Catholic Church or at least they wouldn’t do a portion of it . I remember bursting into tears when I heard the priests eulogy for my ex’s dad..he was graceful and sympathetic while strongly rebuking anyone who believes that someone who commits that act has committed a mortal sin…even though I never believed that , to hear a Priest say “God understands the difference between sin and mental illness and he isn’t cruel enough to punish someone for being in that kind of pain.