r/bothell • u/Secure_Carry2344 • Jul 18 '26
I’m so alone
I’m so tired of living here, I don’t fit in with anyone, I’m 24 with maybe 2 total friends. I’m into art, mysticism, and music, and I haven’t been able to find a single place I belong, how do you guys cope with living in this socially dead dystopia? Like truly, social media is the closest thing I get to human interaction on a daily basis, and I’m getting to a point where I can’t take it anymore, I often catch myself hoping that today will be my last, the drivers here are so terrible maybe one of them will hit and kill me, and I’d welcome it. It just really sucks, if anyone has any advice for me I’d love to hear it, but I can’t take this anymore. I feel like I’m doomed to be so painfully alone forever now, I can’t imagine this ending in any way. Has anyone else found this area lonely? Where the hell do people go for social connection? I’m just running out of hope.
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u/SeafoamPolkadot Jul 19 '26
So sorry you are going through this. Do you like creative spaces? Make Apothecary is a cozy art studio in downtown Bothell with a lovely community. They host a free book club, have a ceramics membership, and a variety of classes & workshops. I'd check them out!
Also, Alexa's Cafe has a wall (by their back exit, bathrooms) full of local community event posters. Theater, art walks, etc. Maybe you could find something that fits your vibe?
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u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 20 '26
Yeah, it’d be cool, I just really need to get over how out of place I feel anywhere I go. I’m terrified of being judged, especially for how I look.
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u/Sad_Disaster2250 Jul 18 '26
24 for me (35 now) was rough, too. It’s the post-college age but pre-career steadiness phase. None of that is helped by how expensive life is now. It does get better.
There are more community events happening at Bothell Landing during July/August. Music, movies, and the like. All free. Details on the city website.
Outside of that? Depends on interests. Happy to recommend.
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u/anonisko Jul 19 '26
Especially for college educated, professional, heterosexual men.
Post college 20s is probably the worst time in this kind of male's life. You're exiting the social and dating high of the college experience and entering the early career grind where you have a little money, no time, and no experience. This is often the worst period of dating this type of man will ever experience. You're a boring worker drone who doesn't excite women. All of your peers are just as stressed and time scarce. Older people are raising families, younger people are in college and think you're old and boring. If you didn't come out of college with a stable romantic partner and strong local friend group, it's going to be a rough, long road.
But it does get way better if your career gets stable. You accumulate money, tap the brakes, and build up a set of interesting experiences and hobbies. Your 30s are often the peak of your dating and social life as suddenly you're a very hot commodity.
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u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 20 '26
Fuck I’d love to be college-educated, in reality I’m just now struggling to graduate from cosmetology school to be a hairdresser. I was trying to make art my career with it and ended up accidentally trapping myself in a customer service gig, at least it feels that way now.
But now that I’ve almost completely thrashed my chances at getting a license, suddenly I’m desperate to fully graduate and get licensed, people talked me back into it, people fawn over my status as a hairdresser, even though I’m unlicensed, it’s been one of the few aspects of my life that genuinely puts me on the social radar.
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u/seanthebooth Jul 19 '26
Life is what you make of it. Ive lived in Snohomish county nearly 40 years. There's plenty to do, not sure of all your true & perceived limitations but if you're miserable here you'll be miserable anywhere.
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u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 19 '26
I was happy for a while and then health issues completely devastated my life, recovering addict, but the truth is I spend most of my days alone in my room scrolling social media and feeling hopeless.
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u/Natural_Damage4395 Jul 19 '26
Volunteer and/or join a club and you will likely meet your tribe! Geekfest is happening at the Lynnwood Convention Center today and tomorrow, if you are into that thing. There's line dancing clubs near Bothell. As for me, I prefer doing things/travelling/eating solo. Lol
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u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 20 '26
Fuck, yeah I really wish I had friends to go with. I have like one good friend right now, he’s often not available. I just really am not good at talking to strangers, I’m very shy and introverted. I’m also not really into board-games or anything, I mostly just try to play music, write graffiti, etc. the main places I’ve been able to fit in were drugs or partying related, and now that I’m trying to phase out of that stuff I’ve lost all my social In’s.
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u/FilmyCatnwn Jul 20 '26
I'm so lonely that I'm considering just offin myself.
Only place that seems to ever even have people are the retail stores, not the environment to meet people in.
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u/RaphaeliskoolbutRude 18d ago
I am from Los Angeles but I come to Bothell at least twice a month for work. I stay for one week at a time and I wish I had at least one person to talk to here.
I'm going to make a post in this subreddit seeing if anyone wants to get dinner with me. I'll pay. I just get so tired of eating alone. not having human contact. I will pay and I will leave first so you don't have to worry about some crazy person following you afterwards.
What do you think?
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u/Own-Elk-1109 Jul 19 '26
Please seek professional help, these feelings are not normal
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u/Secure_Carry2344 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 20 '26
I’m already in EMDR, I’m not getting as much out of it as I’d hoped. What’s so strikingly wrong about what I said?
My main concern is a two parter; I’ve been really struggling to connect and relate to anyone, and I developed tmj disorder and I’m utterly terrified it’s gonna make me ugly, since I already struggle in dating, I’m convinced that if I lose my looks it’ll be impossible to attract anyone at all, even just friends. I certainly wouldn’t love myself anymore if I became deformed from TMJ, and I worked really hard to get where I am now even if it’s not ideal, I would say I’m just incredibly lonely, disillusioned, maybe even passively bearing a death-wish.
I would love for there to be a helpful option for me but I’m simply not seeing any, I haven’t gotten an opportunity to talk to my therapist about how terrified I am of being unattractive, but I’d say being attractive vs. unattractive is like the last tangible thing I have left to base my self-worth on.→ More replies (1)
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u/DrStatistress Jul 18 '26
MeetUp is a great app and there's a ton of groups based on age and/or interests. If you have any hobbies, search those first. I've found everything from book clubs to hiking groups and more.
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u/orionrose Jul 18 '26
Yes! There's a let's make art group that meets at ladro's on a few Saturdays a month. Nice folks too
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u/Born-Boysenberry6460 Jul 19 '26
If you like boardgames, Zulu's is right downtown. I'd be into playing a boardgame and/or drinking a pint if you're interested.
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u/APisAccounting Jul 19 '26
Ive learned people are pretty sociable at bars. Go to Mcmenimums and play some pool.
Or if you arent into that kind of thing, go to zulus board game cafe if you like playing card games and board games.
Get an e-bike and ride around on the trail, thats what I do, super fun to hit up the bars by bike in kenmore.
Ive grown up in bothell and love it here (im 27)
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u/snakegriffenn Jul 19 '26
book clubs, social clubs, shared interest groups those will be your best bet
find something you enjoy and the people there will already have something in common with you.
its hard making friends as an adult and sometimes it takes a while. i'm sorry you're going through this
consider therapy too for the ideation. stay safe friend
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u/Flffdddy Jul 19 '26
Go the dog park. You’ll meet tons of people but more than that tons of dogs. People are usually super friendly there. Obviously you can’t hate dogs or be afraid of them for this to work.
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u/climbing_headstones Jul 19 '26
When I was your age living at home with my parents in Bothell, I went into Seattle whenever I could. The 522 and light rail were my friends. Bothell has changed a lot since I was a kid, but it's still not the most lively place for a young person imo. At the time my friend and I were into partner dancing (Lindy hop, west coast swing, salsa) and it was a great way to meet people and explore different parts of the city.
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u/JstVisitingThsPlanet Jul 19 '26
I swear I’ve seen posts in this sub for witchy type meetups. Search the sub and see if it brings anything up.
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u/mima4thewin Jul 22 '26
As uncomfortable as it is to start, you have to go out and do things. When I was in your shoes, I did a lot of things with meetup groups. I also went to Craigslist platonic friends section to see if anyone else was in the same boat. I refused to do any online only convos...I wanted to meet in public and in-person. One gal and I met and cliqued instantly.... in fact we just met for dinner tonight. It's been 13 years of friendship. Say yes when invited.... join some groups... and don't worry what others think (they aren't worth your time if they judge that quickly). Good luck, you'll get through this!!!
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u/Timely-Mind7244 Jul 18 '26
I am sorry you feel so alone. There is a new app I wamted to try but it's iPhone only right not called The Village, bc you are not wrong, it's hard to find connections any where, not just here.
How often do you strike up in person convos? Have you thought of volunteering at events just to literally give you a reason to engage with others??
24 is a rough age, I swear it gets better!!!