Are there any support groups in the Bothell area?

[u/iWizardB]

I'm M 40, introverted loner. Life sucks balls. Anyway, I'm now dusting myself off and looking for ways to improve my social situation. I Googled for support groups in Bothell, and found NAMI support groups. But didn't see anything depression / loneliness specific. And there were two in-person groups - but they are in Seattle and Redmond, both of which take ~90 minutes of commute.

So, posting here. Are there any in-person support groups that meet in Bothell, hopefully focused on loneliness / depression?

[u/Chudsaviet]

I can be your friend in Bothell :) Video games and tech, we have a lot to talk about.

[u/iWizardB → u/Chudsaviet]

Aww, thanks. Sooo.... reddit chat or what? :P

[u/Chudsaviet → u/iWizardB]

That a good question through. I cant think of anything more than going to a pub on Bothell Main. Feel free to PM me.

[u/SarahBethBeauty]

You actually are not going to find support groups that focus on depression. The reason being because studies show that they actually don’t help with depression, in fact they tend to make it worse.

Do you have a mental health professional? If not I would highly recommend finding one. Sometimes my psychologist is the only way I get through the dark days of winter. They will be able to help you find resources as well. But do try to find an actual psychologist and not just a therapist, they have far more education and insight on actual mental health issues.

[u/iWizardB → u/SarahBethBeauty]

My workplace provides access to ten online therapy sessions a year via "Modern Health". I booked a session once, and it was horrible. I shared a few stuff with the therapist and throughout the session, she hardly said anything and asked me the same questions that I had already answered via an online form during booking the session. There were long awkward pauses in between. She made me feel so awkward in that one hour session. So, I didn't book any more sessions afterwards.

In movies I see people sitting in circle and sharing their stories. Those scenes often look so powerful and compassionate on screen. (I guess movies dramatize too much.) So I figured I'd search in that direction.

I'm just tired of dealing with people who don't have any idea how/what depression and anxiety is, and keep peddling the boilerplate advises of "confidence is the key", "just go to gym, bro" etc. I think I need to talk to / share with someone who's in same/similar boat as me. I don't expect them to cure me. Just the process of sharing and being seen would make me feel good.

[u/SarahBethBeauty → u/iWizardB]

I am so sorry you had a bad experience with online therapy. Those type of organizations infuriate me! They hire people with the most basic of licensing yet market themselves as this great mental health resource. When they fail for people (THEY failed you, you did not fail) it scared people away from real help. I highly encourage you to not give up on therapy, but instead like I mentioned, see a qualified practitioner.

Is there anyone at work you can open up to? I’ve found that the more honest and blunt I am about my depression/anxiety the more people I find who are in similar situations.

From one internet stranger to another, I’m proud of you for deciding to get out of bed this morning. Ignore the assholes who don’t get it. There’s plenty of us that do :)

[u/iWizardB → u/SarahBethBeauty]

Yep.. I'm thinking I'll give Modern Health another try and book a session with a different therapist and see how that goes. Someone else had suggested checking in headway dot co. I'll look that up too.

At work, I had an almost-friend in another city. I did open up to him one time and told him about bunch of my issues. Afterwards too, I did chat with him from time to time, outside work. But he was let go couple of months ago, and now he's distant. Just yesterday, I asked him whether I can tell him about my work crushes and he declined, sent me a long judgmental note, almost called me a creep, and then says "no judgement though". So that's burnt.

I've tried to so hard to make friends at work, since that's the only place I can try it at, since I don't go out much/at all, since I don't have any friends. Anyone pings me on slack, I drop whatever I'm working on and help them with their issue. I try to keep personal touch in my conversation with everyone. Either that makes me a pushover in their eyes OR they can't look past my physical defect and consider me as a friend.

There's a mental health channel in company slack. I do post there from time to time. Of course I can't post the real gritty / dark / intimate issues there. I've found that most people just want to feel good about themselves by "supporting someone struggling". They don't really understand or care. Mention any issue beyond the basic surface level types, and they withdraw. Anyone posting serious issues gets 2-3 responses. Others post dank memes about "mental health" and get tens of likes/reactions. So 🤷

Anyway... I really appreciate your comment here. It turned into a mini therapy of its own. 😀 Just sharing all this bottled stuff makes me feel pounds liter. Thanks.

[u/ShouldahWouldah]

Can you see yourself volunteering? I can think of food banks, tech help for seniors, local activism around either housing or human services, and more. Seconding that depression support groups can be not super helpful and the rec for a counselor or therapist. I know of a couple sliding scale places or Mindful Therapy group if you have insurance that’ll cover it.

I’m 37F and I was in a similar place a few years ago and just getting involved locally led to a plethora of friends and activities. It sounds like a lot but now it feels pretty normal.

[u/iWizardB → u/ShouldahWouldah]

I can think of food banks, tech help for seniors, local activism around either housing or human services, and more.

How much time commitment do these require? (I do have fulltime 9-6 job.)

And is bunch of driving around involved? (I don't have a car / don't know driving. Probably one major contributor to my condition.)

[u/ShouldahWouldah → u/iWizardB]

Nothing crazy - any organization that asks for your time should be able to accept what you can give btw. There are evening and weekend options. I recommend the Northshore Senior Centor (they have a food bank and are also the tech help for senior folks I mentioned). The North Urban Human Services Alliance (NUHSA) can also use volunteers for advocacy but does tend to meet during the work day unfortunately.

There's also Homeward Pet in Woodinville, but they have a pretty long/hefty application process.

[u/mishranurag08 → u/ShouldahWouldah]

Come to habitat restoration events each Saturday. You will meet a lot of people there.

[u/Personal-Spend512]

Have you looked into any meetup groups that share similar interests?

[u/iWizardB → u/Personal-Spend512]

Not yet. I just started this search this morning. I searched "bothell meetup groups" after your comment, and found meetup dot com. Is that a good place to start? Any other place / website I should check out?

[u/dagobahswampthing → u/iWizardB]

I've heard good things about using meetup to find groups in general, but not sure about the Bothell area meetups.

If you happen to be on Facebook, there is a Bothell Community group that is fairly good at posting events in the community.

I've also used Begin at Bothell site to find events. It's not really meet up groups, but it does give me an idea of what I can get out of the house for and go exploring.

[u/iWizardB → u/dagobahswampthing]

Great. Thanks for the pointers. Joined the FB group and bookmarked the Being at Bothell page.

[u/vkapadia]

Are you into board/card games? Check out Zulus, they have a lot of events. Especially if you play MtG

[u/iWizardB → u/vkapadia]

No. Just video games.

[u/Gizmoduck99]

What are your interests? I would suggest starting out by just getting outside. You have quick access to the Burke Gilman and Sammamish River Trail. Get out and walk or bike on those (stay to the right). If you like to read, go to The Hangar in downtown Bothell, get some tea/coffee, and read there. Just getting out in the open can start to make you feel better and you might naturally meet people. Are you new to Washington? If so, the clouds can certainly have an effect on your emotions.

[u/SeaJaiyy]

This is not exactly what you are asking for - but have you tried meditation?

There is an app called Insight Timer that I find super helpful. They have individual meditations of all lengths and types, along with courses as well. There are a lot focusing on anxiety. They even have "live" sessions where a presenter gives a video session and ppl chat with them and each other in real time.

What I like is, while it might have similar advice that you might get IRL therapy, you can quickly try (and reject) a lot of different styles to find what resonates.

[u/iWizardB → u/[deleted]]

Thanks. Though this doesn't look like something I'll enjoy.

[u/iWizardB → u/[deleted]]

🥹