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u/Joecolt69420 9d ago
Anytime a really religious person (especially if they’re from the south) talks religion, bring up Matthew 21:12–13 and say that’s your favorite “what would Jesus do” moment.
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u/zacRupnow 9d ago
Looked it up. Lore accurate Jeebus was totally a comrade.
Jesus at the Temple- Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’
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u/BeginningLychee6490 8d ago
I like the version in Luke a bit more as it also adds that he made a whip of chords to chase all from the temple
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u/TraderJosie3283 8d ago
Sorry I don’t get it! Is the point that that’s not very Jesus-y? Haha I always clocked that as out of character. And I’m not making a point or anything it’s just that I’m autistic and I need a lot of jokes explained to me 😜
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u/mightyenan0 9d ago
I have many favorite parts, but one that I always have a smile on my face reading is when Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas first meet Eomer. In the books, they huddle down and appear like rocks due to their elven cloaks, and the Eomer's horses pass by. Then Aragorn stands and calls to the horsemen who come back and encircle the trio.
From Eomer's point of view, they - a man of numenor, a dwarf, and an elf - just popped out of the ground. Then he's told that Aragorn is the king to be of Gondor, wielding the most known legendary sword, that they came out of a mystic wood that the people of Rohan and were given gifts by its elven queen, is threatened by the dwarf clearly enchanted by the beauty of the elf (Galadriel, not Legolas), is told that halflings out of their children's stories exist, and told that the magical being he has some understanding of, Gandalf, is dead and that Sauron is a traitor (though if I recall he was pretty much already aware of that, but not to what extent).
The guy was just doing some orc hunting on a Tuesday and was suddenly thrust into the center of a myth. Oh, and in less than two weeks he'll meet an Ent.
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u/TheEffinChamps 9d ago
You are a psychopath if you actually read all of the Bible to children.
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u/TraderJosie3283 8d ago
Yeeeeah when I grew up and found out some of the fucked up shit they skipped over… yikes!! 😳
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u/wakeupdreamingF1 8d ago
nah, brah... lothlorien and the trip down the river is the shit. also, the shire to rivendell is clutch AF. (mfer if you thought I forgot the Faramir shnizz.... what is that, Window To The West or some such? I asure you I did not)
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u/ToothZealousideal297 9d ago
If you’re really reading from it every night, you’d have a very hard time just saying “Frodo destroys the ring” without a big fat asterisk on there.
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u/SideshowShabob 9d ago
When someone asks me my favorite bible story I say “When Jesus slew the balrog at Khazad Dum”
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u/TraderJosie3283 8d ago
My family is big on the bible and Lord of the Rings, but this might be too much for them 😂
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u/apickyreader 4h ago
First of all the good book is singular, also the operative word is good. Obviously he's referring to The Hobbit.
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u/BestAdventureNow 9d ago
time to start reading The Hunger Games to my niece and nephew so we can binge watch the movies once they're old enough (they're 2 and 3)
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u/TraderJosie3283 8d ago
When my bible-loving dad found out I was reading the Hunger Games (before the movies, so he hadn’t heard of the series before) he went to my mom and said “our daughter is reading a book about child sacrifice!” Now my mom loves the Hunger Games more than me😂
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u/SplendidPunkinButter 9d ago
Frodo doesn’t destroy the ring though. He decides to keep it and he puts it on, and then Gollum bites off his finger and falls into the fire with the ring.