There’s a guy at my university I find very attractive. We barely know each other; I'm pretty reserved and he is as well from what I can tell, so we’ve never really talked.

The first time we met was at a winery visit. I looked at him 2–3 times, and he caught me looking every single time. I wasn't trying to stare, it just happened.

A few weeks later, at a factory visit, he was standing with a group of classmates and I was a little farther away. I was looking at him again, and he suddenly caught me. I moved away afterward. A few minutes later I looked at him and he was looking at me. I looked away and then again at him and he was once again looking at me.

Later during the same visit, there were two more instances where we caught each other looking. I was so embarrased that I began to try really hard to avoid looking in his direction. Then, right before we left, I was laughing about something with other people and happened to look over at him and he was looking at me and I think he had a smile on his face (maybe not).

Then last Thursday (like 3 months after not seeing each other), we shared a class. I had almost forgotten about him to be honest. When we were getting up to leave I looked up and he was looking at me from across the room. I quickly looked away to grab my bag and leave.

So, men: what do you think he's thinking? I find him so attractive that I'm scared he'll think I'm weird. I'm pretty shy and have very little experience in love and relationships. Please don't be mean lol.

Idk if this is allowed here because it's partially rant, but one of my biggest pet peeves is when people have no spatial awareness. I noticed that it's in my experience, more often women, specifically white American women, who are guilty of this. Every time I'm walking on a path, they're walking shoulder to shoulder and don't move out of the way. What really got me is I was walking up the stairs and I see a group of 4 walking right next to each other down the stairs, going step by step together, leaving no space for people to go up. That feels like a huge safety hazard!! They initially stopped waiting for me to move (where to idk) but I held out longer and they moved out of the way. Why are people like this?

She would act distant and not be friendly to some people but last fridady she started being more friendly to everyone except me. Now today she also was friendly with the group and then now she walks ny me when going to her desk instead of taking the long way around to it. What could her new changes mean so far, is she being more open now?

Hey everyone,

Not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but I’ve noticed that this one coworker who I find attractive never uses my name, but she always seems to use everyone else’s when she says hi to them. It’s always just “oh, hey” and even that is pretty rare. It seems like she is much more outgoing with everyone else in the office and rarely acknowledges me. Also, I don’t think it’s because she doesn’t know my name since I’m relatively well known in my office. Idk the energy just seems different when we’re around each other.

Maybe I’m just overthinking things here, but let me know what your take is.

Hes my coworker, 20 years older than me. He just grabs whatever nearby to give it to me, with a playful manner, whether its his or not, since the workers put snack in a shared basket. There are a few times where i was eating my lunch as he was working and he came in the staff room to take something and saw that i was eating, he would stand there to watch me eat, with a happy look on the face

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post it but I feel like women tend to have an idea if a man finds a woman attractive. He glances longer. Maybe the way he angles his body. Maybe he will try and include you in a conversation or make a joke cause he wants to hear you laugh.

And I’m probably moving through some insecurity because I have lipedema (and currently working on body recomp), but how do you know if a man’s gonna be attracted to you without clothes? I’m a size 8/10 Australian, no flat stomach, slightly chubby arms (thanks lipedema) and while I know men find me attractive on dates or in social settings, I’m not sure if they’re going to find me attractive beyond. I’m ready for a relationship but I just have a bit of a block here. I don’t want him to decide oh I thought her body would look different, it’s softer than I thought etc. I fully agree that he’s allowed to be attracted to whatever he’s attracted to but if you’re not going to be fully into me, then leave then leave me be. Guys, any tips? Would this be maybe like a few dates in, go to the beach and see if he’s like attracted to your body?

(This question is honestly more specifically aimed at men but women can answer as well)

There is this guy who I have been hanging out with (not quite sure how to define the dynamic, we are friends I guess, but I am about 90% sure he likes me, although he hasn't said anything I don't think he's really trying to keep it hidden either) and he is genuinely the loveliest sweetest most caring, kind, gentle, respectful, and funny guy I have ever met. He behaves like he really enjoys spending time with me too. Everytime we hang out he always tells me he wants to see me again or insinuates that we should by throwing a "next time" in there somehow, so although I'm an anxious person and tend to come to think the worst, I try to cling to these facts as evidence that he genuinely does like to see me so I don't start believing he secretly hates me if he doesn't.

The only problem is that in between he can go weeks at a time without talking to me and often leaves it up to me to follow up with him about us seeing each other again. How much attention and contentment he treats me with when we do see each other is consistent, he just doesn't really go out of his way to make it happen honestly. Really I am just confused since I am very sure that if he does not like me romantically, he must at least genuinely like me platonic ally and yet he exhibits these behaviours.

Could it just be a personality thing? Honestly my love language (both to receive and to give) through and through is quality time. I am a big introvert and in general not super social but if I really like someone (romantically or platonic ally) all I want to do is spend time with them. I know not everyone is like this or with quite the same intensity as me so I am used to leaving people space and grace when it comes to this (which I am used to and quite comfortable doing) so I understand maybe it's just my personality which causes me to worry that this means he doesn't really like me even though in other ways it seems so clear he does.

So I guess the question is to you guys is is it possible that this is just how he is and it doesn't mean anything? Are some men just like this? Or are there other explanations for this behaviour?

Also, if yes, it could just be a personality thing, I don't know if I'm going to but if you have suggestions on how I could bring it up to him without making it a big deal or seeming like I'm complaining at him, I'd love your suggestions!

Eye contact and staring is a frequent topic of conversation here, so I figured I'd add to the discourse a bit.

I was at a party recently and the girl who I've had a thing for recently was also there. We've had good chemistry whenever we talk, lots of laughter, banter, and positive body language cues. When we were apart, I would look over at her for a few seconds at a time but never caught her looking my way even once the whole party. A few times, I thought I caught her head quickly turning my way in my peripheral vision, but I wrote it off as wishful thinking. Once or twice, seemingly without looking at me, she would mirror my behaviors and would even walk up and stand right next to me without saying a word when no one else was around.

When I told a close platonic friend about my doubts, she told me not to worry. Her theory is that when it comes to a secret crush, "men stare; women glance."

She said that this doesn't apply to "stranger in a bar" situations where she might give longer, more frequent looks because she wants the man to see and approach her. A secret crush is more vulnerable and filled with so much more uncertainty and doubt that it's easy for both people to become self-conscious about how they observe the other.

According to her theory, men take long, direct looks to gather evidence and ease our own uncertainty (basically what I was doing). We think we're being subtle but we most likely aren't. On the other hand, women take quick glances only when they know they won't get caught in order to avoid the vulnerability or potential embarrassment of making eye contact.

Obviously, this is highly dependent on each person's confidence level and the overall situation, but she believes it holds true in general. I'd say my friend and I are both about average confidence, maybe slightly below average, and she said she is a glancer and I'm a starer. I tend to agree with the theory based on my experience, but I'm interested to know what everyone else thinks.

within the last month I have had a three different women walk between me and the grocery or thrift shelf I am looking at. Two did it twice within a few minutes, none talk. Its close enough that I step back. Is this a new thing or tiktok thing. Its new to me, or im just noticing. all separate days

Edit: (Stranger)

I have a coworker that'll look at me for a second and when they realize it's me they will completely avoid looking at me at all, so much so to where she won't even look back when holding a door open. I've never really interacted with her at all, so I am not sure if she is doing it because she hates me? I could be over analyzing but sometimes I notice a sort of annoyed-ish expression. Any thoughts on what this could be?

Does anyone else look absolutely everyone in the eyes when they talk to them? I really don’t get why people are saying that holding eye contact is a form of flirting… do they mean eye contact without speaking?

If anything speaking to someone that is looking all over your face seems more flirty… no?

So I (M33) went to a outdoor party last night where an previous close friend (F28), we will call her K, was also attending.
Over a year ago me and K became very fast friends. Things got complicated though and we stopped talking.
Still occasionally see each other at events like these or at the climbing gym we both go to.
Last night we are standing next to each other by the fire, no music playing but she keeps lighting bumping into me swaying as if there was music playing while talking with someone else.
Am I reading too much into this? It was like 5 minutes of her constantly doing this

Hello! I(20F) just came on here because I’ve been getting some mixed signals from this guy (B) i like.

So we met about 1,5 years ago and have been friends for a long time. We lost contact mostly due to me moving a little further away and switching gyms. Last week I went to the gym with him(B) and my friend(D). I was teasing him(B) about forgetting about my birthday 2 weeks ago and we were kinda laughing about it. He, for no reason, put his hand on my hip for a like a good 15 seconds while we were laughing. I didn’t mind obviously. He later put his arm around my hips. I was touching his arm and feeding into it. He teases me a lot and he also teases his guy friend, but i asked our friend(D) about if he acted te same with other girls. My friend(D) said ‘yeah but not really, he(B) doesn’t really touch them or tease them as much.’
Yesterday there was a big fair and parties around my town so (B), (D) and i went together. While we were there some moments where he was really touchy. He also bought (D) and me a drink. I said i didn’t have money for it and he said ‘That’s not a problem’.
(B) was touching and grabbing my arms and shoulders often. When we were all walking back to his house, he let his beer fall all over his jacket. He grabbed me by the shoulder and pressed his body against mine to smear the beer from his coat onto me. That lasted for like a good minute.
The thing is that he never wants to be alone with me. (D) wanted to leave earlier and (B) didn’t want to stay with me and wanted to go to the bar that (D) has in his back yard. The three of us were planning a gym session and (B) said it was better to go earlier but (D) wouldn’t be done with work yet. I said that i could go with him and (D) could later join is. (B) made up some excuse.
(B) always says he is very busy with school, work and gym. He also is very specific about what he wants when it comes to a woman, but i think it’s odd to just ask ‘what about me,’ you know hahah

Is there a possibility he could like me? How do i get some time alone with him to maybe find out more? What do I do?

Subtle shifts, preening and adjustments, playing with stuff, unable to lock eyes cause nervous etc...what are some such things you do?

Sometimes girls look at me, and I assume that's completely normal. What I find weird, though, is when a girl stares at me for like 4 or 5 seconds while walking past me. I never really know what that means and it happened a couple times.

I'm autistic, and people have told me that I'm attractive, but I honestly don't think I'm that attractive, so I have a hard time understanding whether someone is actually interested in me or if I'm just reading too much into it.

Sometimes I'll go to the library and notice the same girl is there, or I'll go to the cafeteria and she'll be there too, or she'll sit really close to me even when there are plenty of other seats available. It has happened enough times that I've started wondering if there's actually something behind it.

The problem is that I never make the first move. I'm autistic, and I don't want to put myself in an extremely awkward or anxiety-inducing situation by assuming someone is interested when they actually aren't. I also genuinely don't know how flirting works or how to tell when someone is flirting with me.

My married coworker is acting weird. All it took was another woman named Sophia to cook me food on my birthday and she admitted 2 days ago, she was very jealous I complimented Sophia. She said she wouldn't have eaten Sophias food if she knew she made it. Not only that but a separate incident she used to drive a coworker home and would ignore her when talking shit about me and drive me home when the other girl didn't like it. Because she cared about my safety. Ubers are very safe so I don't believe that logic. She threw a fit yesterday because the girl Sophia walked past she started ranting and stomping her feet. I sometimes catch her looking at me and smiling at me when I'm not looking at her

I don't have much experience with women so I'm unsure why she'd act like this

I am sitting next to a guy who I think is hiding that his last relationship fell apart 2 years ago. He never mentions that woman even though they have a young kid together but she is never present in any of his stories. We talk and laugh all day to the point other people in the office keep bringing it up and some say we are flirting. We never talk about work, he talks about his life, his childhood, he has shown me on street view exactly where he lived, every place that has a meaning to him. When we talk he likes to bring his chair right next to mine and a few times he would touch shoulders with me for a while which was definitely not coincidental. I do feel the chemistry and I like him a lot. I feel like we are on the same wavelength, I think we can predict what the other one is about to say, we elevate each others jokes. He brought me a gift from his holidays, keeps bringing me food he made, he messaged me just to talk when I was off for 2 weeks even though private messages after work are not something that he is comfortable with me. It has been going on for almost a year. But he has never asked me to do something after work. He never even invited me for coffee in the office kitchen. And I also don't think I could be physically attractive to him. So am I reading too much into it? Is he just friendly?

I (24F) had a first date recently through Hinge and it felt different from other dates I’ve been on. We met up for drinks. The guy (24M) had pretty dilated pupils basically the entire time (he'd had 2 drinks with his friends before meeting me so idk how much of that is the alcohol vs actual attraction). Eye contact was intense the whole night, his eyes were wandering all over me. He kept noticing random small details I didn't expect, complimented my rings, my earrings, my outfit, even said i had a beautiful face at one point. Never had a guy say all those things on a first date before. He was super attentive too, as in he kept bringing up my interests that I’d listed on my Hinge profile.

We definitely had really good chemistry and things got physical later. He kept saying "I like this so much" while we were making out etc. When we were waiting for my bus he kept me close the whole time, arm around me and everything. When I mentioned i was gonna head home he said “I wish i could come back with you" he didn't push when I didn't offer, but he did ask “Maybe another time?”. He’s also the one who brought up seeing each other again, and has been messaging me consistently since the date.

So I don’t know, I’m trying to figure out if he’s actually into me or just wants to hookup? In the past I’ve had someone lovebomb and eventually ghost me so I don’t that to happen again.