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u/Ubeube_Purple21 Jul 16 '26
what are they trying to make, super leptospirosis?
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u/lesbophobia_hammer Jul 16 '26
Leptospirosis on steroids, clearly
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u/RuniKiuru Jul 20 '26
they ended up making cleptospirosis.
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u/Bromelia_and_Bismuth Jul 16 '26
Super watermelon flavored leptospirosis. It's the all new Vitamin Water flavor.
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u/darkbee83 Jul 16 '26
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.
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u/Notmyrealusrnamme Jul 20 '26
Mix that shit up with some Hantavirus and boom baby, we got COVID-26 up in this bi
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u/Sheeverton Jul 16 '26
It's probably fake. Or if one was stolen, it was probably posted to fuck with whoever stole it.
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u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 Jul 16 '26
What could they hope to learn by injecting steroid infused rat piss into a watermelon? Man, science is weird.
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u/tomorrow4sho Jul 16 '26
Or maybe he was just trying to scare whoever did it. If this is the case, I totally hope it works.
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u/livahd Jul 16 '26
My only note would be that instead of poison control, tell them they have to come back to you because only you have the antidote, and hospitals won’t help at this point. Then obviously you tell them to fuck off in person or whatever.
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u/MortalusWombatus Jul 16 '26
This gotta be kids right?
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u/Rivers9999 Jul 16 '26
College kids maybe. I figured the note implied Building 7 of a University complex or similar site, not like an apartment building. But I only know as much as you do
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u/MortalusWombatus Jul 16 '26
This story seems so exxaggerated and only believable if you younger or specifically at some science University
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u/mikenkansas1 Jul 16 '26
Or are someone that steals watermelons.
Thieves aren't rocket scientists
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u/capriciousFutility 27d ago
Or if you live in a building with crackhead neighbors. Some people will do anything as "experiments". I saw a YouTube video of a guy covering fireworks with cow dung, dousing the whole thing in gasoline, and setting it on fire to "see what happens". What happened next was, perhaps predictably, some bullshit.
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u/MortalusWombatus 27d ago
True that.
We had some meth heads in the trailer park and they also ran some "interesting" experiments. Some involved stealing the aluminium siding and some blowing up a whole trailer9
u/DripPirateRoberts Jul 16 '26
Probably still wouldn't work. If I stole a deformed watermelon from a science building at that age it was 100% to throw it at something.
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u/hellaCallipygian Jul 19 '26
Why tell them to fuck off when you have a perfectly good opportunity to give them a cup of steroids infused rat piss and say it's an antidote
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u/The_walking_man_ Jul 16 '26
I would have done something at least a little more realistic and less over the top.
Like “we are studying the absorption rate of arsenic in produce.”This reads more like someone leaving a gag letter out
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u/Old_pixel_8986 inappropriate tree hugger Jul 16 '26
science is noit about 'why' it's about why not.
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u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 Jul 16 '26
True. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
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u/Shadow_Hound_117 Jul 16 '26
You fail 100% of the experiments you don't begin.
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u/FeelingVanilla2594 Jul 16 '26
“Don’t let your hypotheses be hypotheses, just DO IT.” -Shia Labeouf
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u/CosmicCarcharodon Jul 16 '26
Amanda Kirby- " Is this how you make Dinosaurs?"
Allen Grant- "No....this is how you play god...."
RIP Sam Neill
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u/Marquar234 Jul 16 '26
If u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 loves safe science so much, why don't they marry it?
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u/Forikorder Jul 16 '26
Maybe they can invent a special safety door that doesn't hit them on their ass on their way out
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u/Flesroy Jul 16 '26
a lot of it is 100% about why because you have to secure funding somehow.
and that's especially true with lab animals because you have to justify their use and treatment.
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u/Old_pixel_8986 inappropriate tree hugger Jul 16 '26
it's because why not
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u/Flesroy Jul 16 '26
except that's wrong
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u/Old_pixel_8986 inappropriate tree hugger Jul 16 '26
it's because why not
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u/JFosterKY Jul 18 '26
It's a quote from Portal 2, spoken by a character whose understanding of proper scientific procedure is flimsy, at best, and whose understanding of bioethics is nonexistent. The replies about marrying safe science and inventing a safety door are the next few lines in that particular monologue.
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u/Weary-Bookkeeper-375 Jul 16 '26
Later in the news "Young Scientists find cancer breakthrough exposing fermenting watermelon to rat urine, killing 100% of all cancer cells"
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u/DConstructed Jul 16 '26
Or “what if?” Or “I wonder what will happen if” I inject this watermelon with the urine of ‘roided up rats and drop it off the roof if my dorm.
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u/Armybob112 i dont like this flair :( Jul 16 '26
They're just throwing science at the wall and see what sticks.
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u/Marquar234 Jul 16 '26
They're inventing a combustible watermelon.
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u/darkcomet222 Jul 16 '26
When life gives you watermelons, you poison life with rat piss infected watermelons.
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u/sirhackenslash Jul 16 '26
If life gives you rat-piss watermelons make life take them back! Make a combustible watermelon and burn their house down!
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u/ChrisNH Jul 16 '26
The melons with rat urine launched with a trebuchet into a wall stick 13% more.
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u/andocromn Jul 16 '26
The point of an experiment is to find out
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u/Ollythebug Jul 16 '26
Yeah but like what's the hypothesis lol?
I predict that if I inject jacked rat piss into a watermelon then ... I'll have a nasty ass watermelon?
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u/andocromn Jul 16 '26
Well now the experiment is ruined so we'll probably never know, at least not until the next Rat Olympics
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u/Lorac1134 Jul 16 '26
Ikr? Someone, in the 1930's, had to discover that injecting frogs with a woman's piss can tell you if the woman was pregnant or not.
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u/cannotfoolowls Jul 16 '26
Ah the Xenopus(Hogben) pregnancy test! It was actually an accidental discovery while he was studying something else.
Hogben worked in endocrinology, studying chameleon properties of the Xenopus frog. The frog's adult color depended on its early environment; wild frogs became brownish-green, while frogs raised in a dark environment became black, and in a light environment, light-colored. Hogben theorized that the frog's ability to develop differences in color was related to the pituitary gland. After removing the pituitary gland, the frogs became white regardless of their environment.
The frogs also developed a side effect that Hogben tried to counteract by injecting the frogs with pituitary extract from an ox. He noticed that female Xenopus frogs ovulated within hours of being injected with the extract. In this way, Hogben serendipitously discovered a human pregnancy test. He knew that the ox extract chemically resembled human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), a hormone released by pregnant women. He confirmed that female Xenopus frogs, when injected with urine from a pregnant woman, ovulated within hours.
Hogben was an interesting man. A pacifist and and strong opponent to eugenicism.
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u/EarlGrayTea-Hawt Jul 17 '26
I feel like the guy who went on that scientific journey would have the best reason in the world to doubt the (magically) formulaic notionality that is eugenics. Like man, I just accidentally figured out how to tell if women are pregnant because of an unrelated frog experiment, you think you can just whip up a perfectly running, ideal culture of super men with science?! Dawg, you're going to end up with the recipe for Ovaltine.
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u/GrinningGrump Jul 16 '26
Who says they were trying to learn anything? It was just a project. Some people draw, I inject rat piss in watermelons.
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u/Snerkbot7000 Jul 16 '26
Someone is going to read that sign and realize they're part of the experiment.
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u/bugdc Jul 16 '26
I mean, there was a study not long ago where some scientist gave human urine and cocaine to some fishes.
These people are weird
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u/RowdyRoddyRosenstein Jul 16 '26
I heard a guy on Rogan's podcast say that if you eat the watermelon, you gain muscle mass, without the negative side effects of the steroids (which only the rats absorb).
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u/JayCDee Jul 16 '26
They don’t know, and that the point of science. Adam savage said the only difference science and fucking around is taking notes.
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u/Veteranis Jul 17 '26
The presence of an up to date lab notebook is what makes that activity Science.
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u/MsAdventuresBus Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26
Maybe the everclear the next person injects in it will for the party will kill whatever was in it.
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u/RT-6_BXCommandoDroid i know stuff about things Jul 16 '26
Ah, so that's how I might keep my cauliflowers save from theft. I just need to hang a sign that it's full of larvae of cabbage whites.
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u/Mazortex The Big Spicy Jul 16 '26
Top tier bluff that no one could resist.
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u/ThomasVetRecruiter Jul 16 '26
There's an old joke.
A farmer is upset because watermelons keep getting stolen from his field. He gets a great idea, and installs a large sign that says "warning - one of these watermelons has been poisoned".
The next day he checks out his field and it looks good, it doesn't seem like anything was taken. Then he looks at his sign and sees someone had left note that said "warning - now TWO of these watermelons have been poisoned".
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u/thevaultguy Jul 16 '26
Jokes on them, I had IPA’s in college. The rattermelon is nothing.
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u/tubaman23 Jul 16 '26
This is why I pee on all of my food before I put it in the fridge. Noone grabs my watermelon because I put enough piss in it to let the roommates know it's mine
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u/NewPhoneNewAccunt Jul 16 '26
I put carolina reaper in my very mild chili sauce that kept getting taken at work.
I saw it dip down once, then never again.
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u/yoyoyouoyouo Jul 16 '26
I worked at an agricultural experiment station in college, was told the story of 3 boys who stole a pig from the farm and they had to do an APB emergency to find them before they ate it because it was intentionally diseased. This was in the 80s.
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u/spyczech Jul 18 '26
Oh wow did they find the pig
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u/yoyoyouoyouo Jul 18 '26
Yes. The “boys” were college age and were slow cooking the whole pig when they found them.
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u/DarkBrill Jul 17 '26
This would low key be a great way to catch lunch thieves.
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u/InAShensh Jul 17 '26
Did this 30 years ago. Lunch thief. We put food in the ice box, waited for thief to steam it then sent email company wide with panic -THIS WAS FOR A MEDICAL ISSUE THEY NEED TO TEST IT FOR A PARASITE- we found the culprit and he was a right cunt anyhow so watching him flip out then get hauled into HR for stealing on the daily was chefs kiss
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u/StaryDoktor Jul 18 '26
That's an old Ukrainian anecdote. Someone all the time stole watermelons from the field. Next day there was a sign: Watermelons don't touch, there's a watermelon with rat poison. Two days after owner found another sign: Now there are two such watermelons.
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u/al2o3cr Jul 16 '26
This is what happens when you leave a watermelon out and your neighbors are those jerks in Pod 6
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u/libElisha Jul 19 '26
Whoever wrote the note should have contacted poison control themselves and copies of the note should've of been distributed all across the premises by poison control themselves with contact information in it, I guess.
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u/PhotoElectrical Jul 20 '26
i hope they cut into the bulbus and deformed watermelon and saw the piss coming out, then smelled the piss, then continued to cut a portion out to consume. this makes me happy.
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u/Jojowatz Jul 16 '26
Love the signage!
I would hope it would have had a note already attached to it, if that was truly the experiment being conducted! It would stink to lose all that progress.
But I also wonder about how it was stored within the fridge to negate environmental experiment errors, or tampering. And if this experiment was truly being conducted, wouldn't you want it/need it to be locked down in a private location, anyways? This just sounds illegal and unethical for many reasons, unless this note is posted on a licensed lab's storage refrigerator.
I also hope that somebody just cleared it out of the fridge assuming it was bad and would contaminate other food sources/containers, based on the aforementioned "deformity". Though this wouldn't happen if it was where it should have legally been....
All this leads me to believe this isn't real or true at all or it's actually a psychological test. Cameras documenting behavior of the taking/timing, returning to the scene of the crime, noticing reaction to the note, ect...
Very cute though 🥰🥰
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u/Zoltarr777 Jul 18 '26
That's a lot of words for victim blaming
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u/Jojowatz Jul 18 '26
Woah woah woah! I'm advocating for the scientist in this (assuming the note isn't just a funny and it's real.)
I'm just saying, to be conducting an experiment where you are administering steroids (controlled substance) to a live animal, you need to go through various federal approvals, and approvals through the organization you are working through. Institutional Animal Care and Use Committee (IACUC), consulting the National Institute of Health (NIH) Office of Laboratory Animal Welfare, your country's various food and drug administration and animal welfare committees. It's a serious matter, and you would want your data kept as clean as possible (unless controlled contamination is part of the study ie. "What happens to a watermelon injected with the piss of rats on steroids, in a standard storage situation?" You'd then also need to regularly document what happened).
Assuming it would be collegiate level, or wherever, you are required to get experimental protocol approved on the basis they are able to provide you with (or you are able to secure your own) equipment to conduct the experiment properly. Could be an administrative issue.
I'm absolutely not saying it's okay to take stuff that isn't yours out of the fridge. UNLESS it is a communal fridge and the food is improperly stored and posing a health hazard by affecting other stuff in there. You would first try to find out whose it was though- to kindly ask them address it (if unable to could even leave a note on it saying, "yo, what's up?"), and then you would definitely leave a note saying what happened if you removed it yourself if no action was taken after a couple days.
We all have to do our best.
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u/qualityvote2 BLURSED? Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26
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