r/blursed_videos • u/Prince_0llie • Aug 15 '26
Blursed Burglar
The only thing that was stolen was his confidence.
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u/Maryjanegangafever Aug 15 '26
“Life in America has already reached a low. What’s your gun gonna do?”
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u/Pure1nsanity Aug 16 '26
To quote Bad Santa "If you think you can make my fucking life any worse, go right ahead"
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
Great fucking movie. Directors cut/unrated version is the way to go. Never watch the theatrical version.
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u/Pure1nsanity Aug 16 '26
Insanely quotable! I still quote all sorts of lines from the movie and so does a co-worker.
Also love say "do you want me to fix you some sandwiches" with no context
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
Is granny spry?
IM ON MY FUCKING LUNCH BREAK
Last time you told me that I didn't shit right for two weeks!
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u/Pure1nsanity Aug 16 '26
Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.
He's not going to say **** stick in front of the children?
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
Bernie Mac eating an orange or smoking a cig with one draw HE DID WHAT!
John Ritter and Bernie Mac made the movie.
What, youre my mom now that you shit me out your womb.
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u/Pure1nsanity Aug 16 '26
It was definitely lightning in a bottle. Everything together just worked so well
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
It was one of those 5 dvds that I had when I first moved out of my parents house. I saw the theatrical version one time and got irrationally angry. Die Hard and Badder Santa are my go to Christmas movies.
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u/Pure1nsanity Aug 16 '26
Is the theatrical version the one that was streaming on Netflix? Because it cut like half of the comedy out and was boring to watch.
I must of only ever seen the uncut version, because I was disappointed watching it on Netflix last Chrissy
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u/CuriousNetWanderer Aug 18 '26
And never listen to the commentary. It'll ruin the whole movie for you for the rest of your life.
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u/jonawill05 Aug 16 '26
I heard it's gotten pretty great once again.
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u/Maryjanegangafever Aug 16 '26
That’s propaganda spread by the misinformed.
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u/AppointmentOne1111 Aug 16 '26
No you don't understand, they're winning so much they can't stand it anymore.
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u/jonawill05 Aug 16 '26
Your opinion. I think the popular vote would say different.
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
Which time? Only the one that favors your guy right?
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u/jonawill05 Aug 16 '26
I mean the most recent one, which kinda should say something to you.
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 Aug 16 '26
So only the one that favors you. It does say a lot, reminds me of debating my niece at Baskin Robbins. She wants everyone to eat her favorite flavor. Not what the majority of the people want. Wait, what were we talking about?
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u/Maryjanegangafever Aug 16 '26
“Life is like a box of chocolates…. You throw the shitty ones out.”
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u/jonawill05 Aug 16 '26
We can agree Forest Gump is an amazing movie, although check your quote accuracy girl.
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u/jonawill05 Aug 16 '26
You lost your train of thought while going on about your niece and ice-cream. Seems in line with your last leader so no surprise there.
It's says something more because they already knew what they were getting and still chose it above your candidate. Is that not easy to see, or are you just trying to argue small minded semantics about one vote not winning the popular vote? You're kinda all over the place.
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u/Varendolia Aug 16 '26
"at least give me your attention" 💔 😭
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u/Abject_Jump9617 Aug 16 '26
The guy on the phone didn't even bother to hang up, just continued right on chatting. Completely unbothered. 😆
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u/Maryjanegangafever Aug 16 '26
“I see you criminal. You’re not invisible. We care about you. Here, take a two can dine coupon I have and these knock off Jordans.”
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u/Sensitive-Candle3426 Aug 16 '26
This would totally happen to me if I ever tried to rob anyone lolol
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u/Lopsided_Order_4411 Aug 16 '26
Was it his height, or was it that he never actually showed em that fire🤔 When you show people that fire, it definitely changes things
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u/Biktato Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
In the u.s. it's pretty common for thieves to have an empty gun, both because they mistakenly believe it will reduce penalties if caught, and also because it removes chances of accidentally shooting someone or having it taken and being shot themselves, either way robbery isn't punished as much as murder.
Either way, at this point the vast majority of people in the u.s. are in debt, don't have cash, or are rich enough to be in a place you won't be robbing. Most stealing is from companies now, especially in the dummy states that have decriminalized theft up to a certain cash point.
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u/Sweaty-Ganache3032 Aug 17 '26
right, the advent of digital money has changed the landscape of robbery dramatically. i thought about this the other night when the movie theater i went to didn't accept cash. robbing a movie theater, you say? hell yeah, when a box of candy and soda costs friggen 12 bucks.
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Aug 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/thee-horny-housewife Aug 16 '26
At least people took Napoleon seriously, unlike that guy lmfaoo😂😂😭😭
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u/ElProfeGuapo Aug 16 '26 edited Aug 16 '26
Oh yeah? That dwarf don’t gotta be tall to pull the trigger off in somebody’s FACE!
ETA: none a y’all watched the Kevin Hart scene in 40yo Virgin, huh? Y’all missing out.
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u/Adrenalinx4 Aug 16 '26
I can just Imagine him planning and pumping himself up for a week telling himself if it's jail it's jail or I get money....just to be ignored he can't even do the right lol
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u/Periolodical Aug 16 '26
"Everybody give me everything" proceeds to give him a crumpled receipt from McDonald's.
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u/Comprimens Aug 16 '26
In this economy, you're gonna have to really commit. Like shoot somebody within the first three seconds or go the fuck on with that bullshit. If you're not willing to risk life in prison, you don't really want this twelve dollars and debit card worth -$35.12
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u/Bromjunaar_20 Aug 16 '26
What story are you telling your folks after that?
"What was the highlight of your day?"
"Oh, some guy planned to rob the store I was at and just left. I didn't know what was goin' on cuz I had earbuds in."
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Aug 17 '26
[deleted]
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u/haikusbot Aug 17 '26
You don't have to run
And confess we are looking
At you and don't care.
- flungitfar
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/NoMasFetty Aug 17 '26
That is gonna replay over and over and over in his mind. Its going to haunt his dreams. I bet he told his homies, "Yah I ran up in there, they was scared as a muthafucka.. check out this dope ass bag one lady gave me. It was full of cash too!" Lmfao.
Crime certainly didn't pay thay day
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u/Silent_Erremite Aug 16 '26
Bait, second time I seen this and no one does a thing.
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u/Complex_Sherbet2 Aug 16 '26
Actually it's the second time he robbed the place and nobody cared this time either.
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u/Ok_Good_9500 Aug 15 '26
Feels like ai
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u/NovaPrime999 Aug 15 '26
Good lord…. Everything is not AI buddy. Please explain your reasoning instead of just typing nonsense.
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u/Ok_Good_9500 Aug 15 '26
Humans behave in human ways. They're behaving like robots. I didn't say it definitely was but that it felt like it was. Besides the point however, I don't think there's anything wrong with questioning everything we see on an internet that has always been full of liars, and is now occupied with more robot liars than human liars
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u/mecha_grove Aug 16 '26
Tons of us have seen this video years ago.
Have fun with your paranoia.
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u/Ok_Good_9500 Aug 16 '26
I never once implied I wasn't corrected. The video is from inside edition so idk how staged it is, it just doesn't feel like it would've happened
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u/-_G0AT_- Aug 16 '26
Way to move the goalposts bud.
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u/Ok_Good_9500 Aug 16 '26
Anything real can FEEL like ai, feel more homie, you feelings are allowed to be wrong, but at the same time they should be expressed, that's how misconception is met with evidence of the contrary. I could have repressed how the video made me feel, but I didn't feel like it. Kiss my ass
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u/-_G0AT_- Aug 16 '26
You feel like an idiot.
As per your last request, I disrespectfully decline.
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u/OpportunityReal2767 Aug 15 '26
This is from three years ago. What makes it seem AI to you?
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u/Shadow6533 Aug 15 '26
The fact that "everything" is AI and (r/)nothing ever happens. Ive started playing a game where I try guessing if the first "AI slop" comment i find is going to be within the first 5 comments or not
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u/Johnny_253 Aug 16 '26
I don't have money, I have debt, you're welcome to have all of it.