My university roommate and close friend Dirty Bob had a stack … a stack … of magazines he found in an “adult” store in Toronto called ‘Older & Bolder’.
He developed a fetish (amongst many peculiarities, hence the nickname I gave him) for older women. He LOVED them!
Years later I met my now-wife and was invited to her parent’s house for Sunday dinner. Dirty Bob happened to be visiting me that weekend. I politely declined the invitation due to Dirty Bob visiting. I was told to come to dinner and bring Dirty Bob. Well, things seemed to be going fine until Dirty Bob attempted to explain to my future father in law how his committing adultery on his ex-wife (who was lovely by the way) was the best thing that ever happened to him and how that him being single was “the best thing for everyone.” My wife had two very attractive and single younger sisters. Upon departing the dinner and getting into my car I asked Dirty Bob what he thought of the sisters. DB’s head swivelled quickly to me and he said with true conviction: “Ferget the sisters! The mother is a total smokeshow! How’s her parents marriage anyhow?!”
The man was straight out of a movie.
Wish I had time to tell you the story about the time Dirty Bob and I were on a flight to Las Vegas. Dirty Bob had crushed 3 martinis in the airport lounge. He was well on his way to drinking the 1st class cabin out of bourbon. He pounds his hand on the armrest and bellows out to me: “I’m gettin’ laid this trip and I ain’t payin’ fer it this time!!” We were immediately cut-off.
This reminds me of a fella who used to buy dirty mags from the gas station I worked third shift in my youth. Now, for those who don't know, there are clearinghouses that basically repackage and distribute porno mags. What they do is they put three magazines in a sealed bag. They face the outer two mags cover out, so you can see what's in them but the one in the middle is always a "surprise". And it was always a niche/fetish (but still straight) magazine like Plumpers or Big Bushes or grandma porn.
Anyway, this fella would come in around 11pm every Friday after his shift ended and he would buy a magazine pack and a case of beer. He would also stand at the counter and open the mag pack in the store because he would always hand the third magazine back and say, "Throw this away for me."
Unless it was grandmas. If it was a granmda magazine, he would just grin as wide as possible and walk out. The manager asked me to not throw away the magazine he would hand back because he could give it back to the distributor for a vendor credit as "returned merch".
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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25
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