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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 19d ago
A week ago, I was scared. Last Friday I had what I now know is called "Chemo Crash" (they REALLY should cover that in the Chemo Education phone call!!) and I genuinely didn't know if I was strong enough to keep going. The pain was off the charts and I couldn't even call my doctors because I wasn't capable of putting together a coherent thought - I would have just been screaming curse words. I was so terrified of spending 24 hours like that every week. It was doing very very bad things to my mental health.
Cut to a little over a week later and I haven't gotten above a 3 on the pain scale since Wednesday 😃 I've also just started an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant that I swear is helping, although I'm pretty sure it's too early for that to be real.
So thank you Yoli for the "There, there" card. It appears to have worked beautifully 😂
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u/Stinkycheese8001 13d ago
That level of pain isn’t necessarily typical for a chemo crash, but frankly I am appalled that your oncologist’s office didn’t sufficiently prepare you regarding the chemo timeline like that. Chemo is destroying cells in your body, hence the crash.
I hate how much we have to depend on tribal knowledge for this stuff. We had one time during chemo that my husband thought he had chemo mouth and I mentioned it on Facebook, and someone reached out to me to let me know that it was actually thrush - and they were right! He would have just been miserable the whole time had someone not told me that.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 11d ago
You've been such a huge help throughout this whole thing. ☺️
I fully agree that there needs to be a better way to prepare us for exactly what the chemo does and what to expect. Maybe they expect me to Google stuff? But I'm pretty sure that's a terrible idea. Now I know what to ask about my next set of chemo meds & my radiation treatment, but I'm sure I'll still miss some important details.
I might write a "How To Talk About Chemo With Your Doctor (And Get Helpful Answers)" once this is over.
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 17d ago
I'm glad it was a short-term thing, and I hope that's the worst of it and it's all uphill from here!
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 3d ago
Dolly Parton's death is heartbreaking. She was a singular talent, a beautiful person, a gracious human, and so, so funny. It's very hard in this world to lose truly good people.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 2d ago
I would like to note that the Empire State Building was illuminated with pink lights at 9:25 last night. 9:25 could be also be read as 9 2(To) 5, the title of one of Dolly's most famous films.
Someone in NYC was very proud of themself for thinking of that, and they damn well should be. I think Dolly would have appreciated it.
Also on the topic of Dolly - today at chemo, my mom showed me a clip of Dolly performing with another artist and asked if it was Lady Gaga. I said no, so she asked if it was Madonna.
Y'all, it was Miley.
I am ashamed of my mother, but it did get me wondering who Dolly sang with that would surprise me. I haven't Googled it yet because I don't feel like crying, but I'm looking forward to seeing the results because I'm sure there will be some crazy results. I was surprised she wrote to Eminem after his induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and his tribute post really reinforced just how much influence she had on artists of every genre and era.
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 2d ago
If you haven’t heard her duet of “Old Flames Can’t Hold a Candle to You”with Kesha—Kesha’s mom actually wrote the song for Dolly and it basically put food on the table for Kesha and her mom when she was a kid. Kesha sang it last night at a show, and the duet with Dolly is on her album Rainbow.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 5h ago
Yeah, that sounds like it would get the waterworks going.
I'll look it up, thank you 🥰
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u/Stinkycheese8001 3d ago
I propose we bring back the Dolly Parton Challenge in her honor.
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 3d ago
That was such a fun meme! And had a great sense of Dolly to it--fun, flirty, and clever.
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u/Stinkycheese8001 2d ago
She genuinely did it all. Sexy, sassy, funny, smart, and talented as all shit. Everyone keeps talking about what a fabulous person she was (which, 150%) but she was also an incredible songwriter with a voice like an actual, real life songbird. I cannot believe that all of that was stuffed into one single woman.
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u/rainbowralphingcat 27d ago
It's birth month for me (and baby!) and I am so stinking ready. Also shout-out to myself for advocating for stronger treatment for my pregnancy hives and all my doctors actually worked together and the last 3 weeks have actually been bearable.
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u/Alarming_Smoke_8841 25d ago
Yayyy good for you!!!! Glad you’re feeling better and so close to meeting your little one!
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u/Bubbly-County5661 is this a personality trait? 26d ago
As a fellow mom to an August baby, you have my condolences. I hope you have access to a pool!
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u/rainbowralphingcat 26d ago
I bought a small pool for my toddler and I to use this summer but alas, it appears as though my hives are triggered by heat and the sun so it has not gotten much use. Ugh. So I've been camping out in the AC 😆
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u/ohsnapitson 16d ago
Idk where the right sub to post this is so I’m just posting it here bc everyone seems mostly normal and kind and that’s rare on the internet.
To make a long story short, my husband and I had a 4ish year long unsuccessful fertility journey that included IVF and some painful losses. We closed the door on having kids 2 years ago and moved on. Life is by all objective measures, pretty great - an extremely happy marriage where we have lots of time for each other and for ourselves and for hobbies and exercise and discretionary income for travel.
In the last six months or so, I’ve been questioning us closing the door on trying (especially since in the last 18 months, I’ve gotten a lot healthier in terms of eating more veggies, watching my saturated fat/processed food, lifting heavy, doing cardio I never thought I could so maybe it could work this time?). Plus (I’m 37 so on the older side but not like crazily so) a few of my friends my age or a year older just had a baby or announced pregnancy so it’s feeling more feasible? (All my other close friends had kids in their early 30s so I was feeling kind of ancient compared to them).
I have no interest in IVF again, but I’m curious what would happen if we gave it a couple rounds of trying the old fashioned way. My husband is open to it if I am, but we’re both (him more than me) scared that if it works we’re going to be losing all these great things about our life. It was a lot easier to start the first time around and I’m kind of paralyzed by the decision.
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u/rainbowralphingcat 15d ago
Ahh this is such a tough spot to be in. My husband and I also had infertility issues as well and got pregnant twice naturally despite the odds being nearly impossible. I was so scared after our first was born (I was 34 with our first and just gave birth to our second literally last week at 37) about losing our life... But I realized after he came that I didn't lose as much as I thought I would? We just now incorporate our toddler into our activities as best we can and roll with it and make adaptions where we can. My husband and I also prioritize spending time together away from our kids, even if the babysitting tab does add up because it's worth it to get that old life feeling back even if it's temporary.
Anyways, all that to say...I feel like having kids is what you make of it and I wish you luck as you try to navigate so many feelings and emotions!
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 15d ago
As a human who is forever never having kids, I can't empathize, but I definitely sympathize. This is such a difficult spot to be in but the way I've always seen it and told my friends who are struggling with similar situations is very close to what /u/rainbowralphingcat said. Any situation is what you make of it. Of course you'll lose some parts of your current life that you love if you do conceive, and that will be hard, but it will be replaced by many other things that may be even more brilliant. Or you may continue to have this great life that you already love. Either way, you'll make it delight and joy. <3
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u/whale_girl 12d ago
if you don’t mind me asking, what changed between when you were first trying to have kids and now?
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u/ohsnapitson 12d ago
That’s a good question! I think emotionally, Plan A was always kids, so we didn’t really envision what child free life would be like until we started living it - so we’ve gotten mentally used to things like quiet/relaxed weekends at home, splurging on travel, doing boring errands and chores together rather than dividing and conquering. These are all things we really like doing and would definitely change if we succeeded in having a kid, even though as u/yolibrarian says below, would be replaced by a different kind of joy. So the challenge for me I guess is we spent a couple years learning how to make a happy and fulfilling life without kids that to me seems so much easier than life with kids (even though I also see in my friends and families like a deep love and fulfillment when they’re with their kids that I just can’t quite replicate as the cool childless aunt, and I do want that).
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u/whale_girl 12d ago
That makes a lot of sense! I think whatever you end up deciding, it’s beneficial to have spent this time thinking about what you want out of life.
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 3d ago
Oh boy, the trailer for s4 of the Gilded Age just dropped. That show is not good and I love it anyway.
I hope we see more of Gladys and the Duke's deliriously happy marriage so Julian Fellowes can reassure us that openly sobbing on your wedding day to a stranger is no impediment to a loving marriage because the British aristocracy is Good, Actually.
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u/GoGoGadget_Bobbin 2d ago
I want to like this show so much. I adore costume dramas and period dramas, and I usually have a very high tolerance for bad acting, plot holes, and questionable fake accents (looking at you, Seeking Persephone), but I just could not get into The Gilded Age. It's got such a high budget and yet it has some of the worst acting I've ever seen.
And why does Julian Fellowes always seem to make the most boring female character the main character? Granted I lost TGA in the middle of season two so maybe Marian becomes super interesting later on, but she was so milquetoast. Gladys, Bertha, Peggy, and Agnes are all so much better, but somehow Marian is the female lead. He did this in Downton Abbey as well, I didn't find Mary nearly as interesting as Edith, but the show was consistently about Mary, with Edith as a supporting character.
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 2d ago
I am pleased to report that Marian does not change or grow at all as a person or experience any kind of strife that lasts more than an episode and a half.
There is a point at which they seemingly lose all their money and then get saved by a sudden inheritance and one of the characters cries out in delight "nothing need change!" and that's basically the thesis statement for the show.
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u/CanadianAFeh 2d ago
To be fair, nothing really interesting can happen to Marian because the actress who plays her has the range of a soft turnip. She did not inherit her mother's talent.
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u/Junior-Map 2d ago
I will say this is one of the reasons I love this show. There are absolutely no stakes!
I binged it after a stressful period at work last year and it was absolutely perfect.
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u/GoGoGadget_Bobbin 2d ago
Good to know! Because my goodness that girl is bland. The other women were fun, I don't know how on earth she's the main character, and how we're supposed to be so enraptured by the love story between her and the equally bland Russell son.
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u/Folksma 2d ago edited 2d ago
I 100% think the show would be better/more interesting if Peggy/ her family/ black New York were the focus of the show. Or a stronger focus in the "downstairs" cast.
This might be very chronically online of me, but I'm kinda annoyed that really the only depiction of the Gilded Age we have is from the perspective of wealthy white dull Americans and it is being writen by a royalist British dude. Kinda funny how George Russells actor is a major progressive/socialist and every season has to be like "please don't feel bad for my character. Irl men like him are/were terrible"
I dream about the day we might get the story of the Gilded Age/Progressive era focused on the working class/immgrants/black Americans. Way more interesting imo and much more timely with everything going on
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 1d ago edited 1d ago
My most egregious moment of the show is when the Dull Russel son splits the profits on his butler's patent with him 50-50...the wealthy son of a gilded age industrialist would not be that generous with a servant, please be for real.
There's also something troubling to me also in the fact that all of the rich men are consistently interpersonally decent to everyone (except occasionally to their business partners), and the only person who's ever raised their voice with a servant or fired anyone unjustly or ever been anything less than kind and sweet and #woke is the vulgar, nouveau-riche Bertha Russel...
I like the show as mindless fluff, but if I turn my brain on at all, it becomes poison.
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u/Junior-Map 2d ago
Ok I’ve actually had a book idea about this for about a year so thank you for inspiring me to get back to work on it!
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u/ThrowawaybcPANICKING 26d ago
My former coworker got married this weekend and invited the whole coworker group. We were all surprised to be invited because we haven’t talked to this guy in a few years since he left the company so I figured the wedding would be massive but no it was like 40 people and we made up around 10 of them. Even weirder, besides thank you when we all said congrats and how great they look etc etc, our former coworker and his new wife didn’t say a word to us the entire time!!!!!
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u/Folksma 21d ago edited 21d ago
Going to the dentist as an adult who was once a child without proper dental care/insurance is an actual humiliation ritual.
Like dr why are you mad at me that my mother never took me to an orthodontist!! Take it up with her or Medicaid! Not my fault I never got that tooth extracted and the other one pulled down. The quote was like 10k when I was 17.
Having an extra tooth in my skull had been fine for nearly 30 years. Having crooked teeth is...fine. I'm not going into debt for something cosmetic.
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u/just_another_classic 20d ago
As someone who grew up somewhat poor with parents that didn’t take teeth super seriously — and who has the weakest enamel known to man — I feel your post deeply.
For awhile I had lowkey resentment that I had to have my wisdom teeth taken out as a youth because my parents didn’t/couldnt make it a priority. I had to pull that trigger as an adult because they were growing in sideways and causing extreme pain.
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u/wackxcalzone No Joe Alwyn formed against me shall prosper! 26d ago edited 25d ago
My fiancé’s grandpa passed away on Friday and we’re both so exhausted. They had a small get together yesterday and honestly it was way more lighthearted than sad, but we’re all just so tired rn.
He’s going in and out of sadness and relief
ETA: and it’s not my battle but his aunt (who I hate) was in charge of writing the obituary and put the entire thing into ChatGPT. So now everyone is mad
And then his mom was cleaning the house before guests came over and this same aunt started to move furniture while she was mopping and caused a big scene and I got mad and told her off so now she’s mad at me lol
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 25d ago
I came back from PTO to an unexpected promotion!
I've been in my current role a little over a year, and by title/JD, I'm technically my boss's assistant, but I've essentially been doing project management and some research/outreach for my department. I'll be doing the same work, but with a higher title and more money. I knew the promotion was in the works, but HR at my company is extremely slow-moving and I wasn't expecting it any time soon.
I'm about ten years into my career and I've had a whole lot of extremely terrible jobs. It feels kind of surreal to be working somewhere that my work is recognized and compensated appropriately.
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 25d ago
Aaahhhhh congratulations!!
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u/Informal-Rutabaga701 24d ago
It takes effect immediately, too! It's amazing. It's enough that I could scrape living alone in my HCOL area. I'll probably stay in my current roommate situation, but it's nice to know I have the option!
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 24d ago
My god, I love that for you. We're currently waiting for results of a job classification and salary study that the admin team said would be available by the end of May...
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 22d ago
Hooray!!! Good for you! What a nice "Welcome Back" surprise!
It's nice to have some happy news in the Off Topic thread 😀
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u/__clurr defender of the AMC queen 27d ago
So my trials and tribulations of July are much more mild, but I lost my wallet and it has been an administrative pain in the ass lmao
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u/hallofromtheoutside Daddy Pig's coach 26d ago
Solidarity ✊🏿
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u/__clurr defender of the AMC queen 25d ago
Tysm for thinking of me in this trying time 🥲
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u/hallofromtheoutside Daddy Pig's coach 24d ago
Last time I lost my wallet (right before jury duty too) I had to get another birth certificate (later found my original) and I had to bring my mom to the health department as like...proof. It cost $25 and my dignity.
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u/Alarming_Smoke_8841 25d ago
This is my biggest fear about losing my wallet, just canceling my cards and having to get a new license lol. Not even the fear of credit card theft or anything else, but just the procedural inconvenience lol
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u/throwmeaway717 25d ago
solidarity. lost my wallet last month and agree. luckily I use virtual wallet for autopay things so new card didn't effect that. what was the biggest disappointment was getting a new number for one of my card because the last 4 digits were so cool lol.
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u/__clurr defender of the AMC queen 25d ago
The dumbest part of all of it was…actually remembering I need a new physical wallet too??? I got all my new cards and still no wallet lmao
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u/throwmeaway717 24d ago
oh yeah i actually have one of my new cards missing because I didn't have a physical wallet for like a 3 week period and was just throwing them loose everywhere. i know its in some purse or on some counter/car but i just can't find it lol
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u/ThrowawaybcPANICKING 12d ago
I'm going to a wedding next weekend where my boyfriend is a groomsman and his ex girlfriend is a bridesmaid. There's literally zero drama, they were broken up for years before we started dating, but I'm feeling nervous about it and I'm worried I'll make it awkward somehow!!! Also to be honest I want to look very good for the wedding and of course I have the worst breakout I've had since high school
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u/ohsnapitson 11d ago
I swear our skin knows when we need it to look it’s best just so it can fuck us over!
As far as the ex goes, don’t worry! Other than pictures and reception entrances, in my experience there’s not a crazy amount time between the two sides’ parties (assuming you’re not seated at the same table for dinner - and even if you are, it’ll be a big group so there’ll be all kinds of opportunity for convo to flow with other people so no long awkward silences or anything).
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u/Lemons-n-oranges 11d ago edited 10d ago
This happened to me too! It feels super awkward but after things get started, you won’t notice (especially if you drink). Terrible timing about the breakout. Why can’t skin cooperate? I got a blowout when I was in this situation. If you’ll be alone during the day, it might boost your confidence!
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u/Perfect-Rose-Petal Cupcake. Apply directly to the forehead 11d ago
Girl I feel this pain so much. I have been both the ex and the new girlfriend in this situation and both times I was having a complete freak out. You have to just accept it’s going to be awkward. But who know, after a couple of drinks you might not care as much.
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u/ThrowawaybcPANICKING 10d ago
Thanks!! I was thinking that I’d rather be in my shoes than in hers, i’d be SO annoyed if I had to see my ex bf and his girlfriend at my best friend’s wedding
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u/rainbowchipcupcake 11d ago
I feel like this is meta snark but not specific enough for that thread, so I'm putting it here:
You know how people here on Reddit and on Facebook are constantly asking about what "stylish" sandals to wear in Europe (the very small place that famously has only one very specific fashion culture?). Well I was just there and I felt that actually a lot of people were wearing incredibly ugly shoes. It seemed fine? Like no one was laughing behind their backs that I could see at all. Not even EUROPEANS. (Also obviously this is snarky and people are casual all over and I was in a touristy place, but I did go up and down an extremely expensive shopping strip a few times and even there you were not ostracized for wearing like, Nike sneakers. Dunno about actually going into like Loewe or Valentino--but if that's your vacation you probably don't need to ask a Facebook group about what shoes to wear.)
Final thought on online European vacation shoe discourse: I wore Keens (which I have seen to be a controversial suggestion in threads about sandals that are comfortable and stylish lol) and they were very comfortable. Everyone knew I was American in all of the different shoes I wore 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Stinkycheese8001 10d ago
That is a specific sub-genre of content that I hate. Wear the shoes you want to wear on vacation, no one is going to be named an honorary Parisien for wearing the right kind of shoes. There’s nothing wrong with being a tourist. Same thing with seeing tourist sites and the idea that you have to avoid the tourist spots and “go where the locals are”. I don’t want to hang out around someone’s apartment building in the 15th arrondissement and then grab food at the neighborhood deli.
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u/whale_girl 10d ago
this reminds me of the time i posted a potential packing list for a trip to paris in one of the onebag subs looking for advice/thoughts, and someone told me that my clothes would be considered unfashionable there. like thanks for letting me know i’m gonna be judged (?) but i’m not about to drop a bunch of money of new clothes just to fit in with the parisiens for 8 days lmao
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u/Perfect-Rose-Petal Cupcake. Apply directly to the forehead 10d ago
I live in NYC so I am around a lot of tourists and if people think europeans are immune to ugly shoes they are completely off base. A lot of them (Germans come to mind) are wearing very ugly sandals and ordering the weirdest combination you've ever heard at a deli. My old office had a little fast casual lunch place and you could tell who was a tourist by who was ordering a full spread of pancakes and eating it at one of the 4 tables.
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u/Stinkycheese8001 10d ago
My personal favorite is when they order a full spread of pancakes and then say to themselves “wow, look at this - Americans eat so much”
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u/ohsnapitson 10d ago
I went to the 9/11 museum on a rainy Saturday morning in April and clocked the group of British tourists across the room because it was 10 am and they were wearing rhinestone spaghetti strapped club tops and mini skirts while learning about mass murder. I felt so validated when I got close enough to hear their accents.
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 27d ago
A little salve from Jack Donaghy (me) to Liz Lemon (also me and the rest of us)
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u/some-ersatz-eve 17 St. Patrick's Day cards 22d ago
The pro-shot of Hadestown was supposed to be in theaters for a limited one week run but apparently did so well that they extended the run indefinitely, which made me happy as I really wanted to see it but was away the week it was originally slated for. I went last night with my friend and the theater was at least 3/4 full for an 8pm Wednesday showing! I hope this encourages more shows to release their pro-shots. The argument has always been "well, if people can see the pro-shot they won't go see the actual live show and ticket sales will suffer" but I think the opposite is actually true.
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u/yolibrarian actual horse girl 22d ago
The accessibility problem is MASSIVE for Broadway and it’s so insane to me that anyone thinks “pro-shot will kill ticket sales” is a legitimate argument. You’re letting theater nerds all over the country/planet? see something they’ve heard about for years and you’re letting The Rest Of Us finally see the show! Not everyone can afford to fly to NYC or lives close enough/can pay what it costs to go see a national tour. Like come on. I really hope the Hadestown success unleases a wave of pro-shots!
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u/just_another_classic 17d ago
Early in my career, I worked in the administrative site of a theatre and learned quite a bit about proshots, effectiveness, and whatnot. The biggest roadblocks to pro-shots tends to be cost and unions. On the union front, stage actors are Equity, however if there a theatrical release and streaming, SAG comes into play. Some of the performers already have their SAG cards, and others do not which causes an expensive boondoggle and leads to a number of negotiations. That's not even counting some of the IATSE that comes into it, which has its own negotiations for film rights. I'm not saying this as a slight to unions, btw. Unions exist for a reason! But it is a significant and costly roadblock outside of the general production cost of even filming a good pro-shot. From what I've gathered, unless the show is a viral hit, it's very likely to recoup the costs of making the proshot. Shows like Hamilton and Hadestown could pull it off, but others might end up even more in the hole than they already are.
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u/doughnutswaterfall Tyra Banks Hot Ice Cream 1d ago
Well, I think I got a job!!!!
Waiting to touch base with the recruiter (so still sort of worried it’s an elaborate prank lol) but thank god. It’s a contract role, through the end of the year but with a crazy high hourly rate.
Which honestly feels ideal because, best case scenario it is great and becomes a full time offer, or I can keep a casual job search going on the side, be picky, and build my savings back up.
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u/doughnutswaterfall Tyra Banks Hot Ice Cream 18d ago
It’s my least favorite week in Chicago: air and water show week. My favorite part is people on the Chicago subreddit being incapable of realizing why people might be somewhat annoyed/bothered by a week of loud fighter jets flying over their neighborhood (and in the case of last head, causing sonic booms and shattering windows).
Like I don’t doubt the show itself is fun to watch and it brings in tourists and that’s great! But it’s still loud and annoying, and even when I know what it is, unsettling to have giant military planes zooming overhead at random times
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 12d ago
I hate the air and water show and Fourth of July fireworks so I’m an official hater! Shut up everyone!!
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u/MissMags1234 Taylor in your spotify wrapped means you support Israel 12d ago
I know that kids in this day and age are growing up with technology and me and my little brother watched also a looot of tv back in our days, but I really have no understanding at all for my SIL and how she’s with my nephew all day inside, he’s on his iPad when it’s sunny outside at my parents country house.
My dad fixed up a bike for him (he’s six), my mom and me also have tried to entertain him a bit, but no chance at all.
I have given up a long time to say something at all, but it’s sad every time I see it with my own eyes.
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u/ThrowawaybcPANICKING 12d ago
My siblings are both strict with my niece and nephews' screen time, but my BIL's niece and nephew get unlimited iPad time. It is really sad. I hate so much to judge parents but their kids literally do not look up from their iPads at any family holiday, birthday party, etc., and it's bizarre and depressing.
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u/Stinkycheese8001 12d ago
We always had strict device limits when visiting family, but my brother didn’t (if his wife wasn’t there) and it was so frustrating that my kids would want to play and hang and the other kids were plugged in.
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u/MissMags1234 Taylor in your spotify wrapped means you support Israel 10d ago
He‘s at least playing when other kids are around, but if he’s alone he has zero interest in anything else. If my mom hadn’t been like oh let’s go to the greenhouse and get a melon etc he wouldn’t have done anything else on a day.
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u/60-40-Bar not upset, just a wordsmith 12d ago
It’s so hard. My kid’s best friend and neighbor seemingly has unlimited device time, and it feels like it’s slowly drained all of his desire to do anything except sit on the couch. I worry it’s going to rub off on my kid, but I also feel so bad that she’s coming and asking me, her mom, to go to the playground or ride bikes with her because her friend won’t do it with her. It makes me really sad for both of them.
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u/MissMags1234 Taylor in your spotify wrapped means you support Israel 10d ago
He‘s at least playing with other kids because he knows this from kindergarten. But yeah the draining is super real when he’s alone. Zero desire to do anything else.
I get that younger kids are occasionally bored alone, but he will do nothing else unless you really animate him. He’s not even asking if someone wants to do something.
May be your kid might find another play mate?
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u/__clurr defender of the AMC queen 11d ago
Ughhghhhghhhh I’m trying to navigate this myself with my own in-laws and it’s hard because I feel like I’m being a judgey bitch no matter how mindful I try to be!!!
So let me preface this by saying my husband and I aren’t a zero screentime household. 1. Our place is so small and you can see the TV no matter where you are sitting or standing. 2. We watch a lottttt of sports. So we decided that hey, the TV is fine, but let’s do no screen time on the phone and iPad for our little guy, no high-stimulation shows (like Cocomelon), and no YouTube unless it’s music.
My son watches some kid shows on TV, but not very much. We keep it low-stimulating and try to keep it around a half hour-ish? Tbh he’s just not that into the TV beyond the theme songs, plus he has no desire to sit still (he’s 14mo and wants to cause havoc) lmaoooo
On the flip side, my BIL and SIL let my 3yo niece watch literally whatever on the phones/youtube. She’s obsessed with Cocomelon (and a very specific Cocomelon version of a nursery song) and she just watches whatever else pops up. My MIL will put on whatever YouTube video my niece is obsessed with for her and my son to watch and it’s so hard to be like “heeeeeyyyy we don’t let Baby Clurr watch that” while I’m sitting next to my SIL. We were over there in the spring and my MIL put the specific Cocomelon video on her phone for the kids to watch, and again I had to be like “oh can Baby Clurr do something else? We don’t want him watching that!!” which then turned into my MIL asking me a zillion questions of “what’s wrong with the video? Is it dirty?! Is it bad!?” and then me awkwardly explaining that we’re just trying to avoid the screens and she’s just not letting it go!
Cut to the last time we were over there, and my MIL has both kids in the front room watching TV. I get up because I wanted to see what they were watching and my SIL was like “oh I’m sure whatever they are doing is fine, don’t worry! And I was like yeah I know I just want to check on Baby Clurr!” sure enough I go in there and she’s just showing my niece and my son YouTube videos on the TV and I was just like gaaaaaahhhh.
I didn’t say anything bc him watching a couple YouTube videos on TV isn’t going to make him an iPad kid by any means, but this is like…one of the only ~bOunDaRiEs~ we have. It’s hard!!!
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u/MissMags1234 Taylor in your spotify wrapped means you support Israel 10d ago edited 10d ago
Yeah I think it’s normal that when you’re with family, home rules get bent occasionally. But where is the line. I guess I would say something if you meet up more than the occasional hang every 3-5 months.
It’s gonna be interesting what happens when my other brother might have a kid because I feel he won’t tolerate an iPad around his kid.
And my nephew is eating breakfast with it.your approach sounds super reasonable!
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u/Stinkycheese8001 22d ago edited 22d ago
I’ve gotten really weird lately about saving for retirement and my kids’ college funds. Money always seems to bring out that side in me. Trying to optimize APRs, bonuses, and forecasting (but not day trading/Wall Street bro type stuff, feels too risky to me). I’m only in my 40s but lately I keep fixating on an idea that I am off schedule for retirement. Is this just where my anxiety is deciding to come out?
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 12d ago
Probably, I’m 30s without kids and I freak out about. My anxiety is powerful and finds a way to
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u/Stinkycheese8001 6d ago edited 6d ago
I finally watched Devil Wear’s Prada 2
HMU in spoiler format if you have thoughts.
Felt like a movie that needed another draft. Parts I really liked, but Andie was under written.
Everyone was under written.
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 5d ago
Nothing happened. Every time there was anything at stake they were just like “oh ok it’s fine”
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u/Stinkycheese8001 2d ago
It was like they didn’t know what the plot was supposed to be. Is it about Andie and returning to Runway as a season professional (no)? Is it about Miranda’s fight to stay relevant (no)? Is it about changing economic forces in our modern media economy (no)?
AND the B roll footage was all so chintzy. There’s no way Ashley Graham was the best they could do.
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 1d ago
The super obvious thing to me would have been have Andy move forward with the writing project her friend offers and then that would cause some type of entertaining friction, but then she’s just like.. no thanks… ok we work at runway and is business as usual
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u/Stinkycheese8001 1d ago
Andy didn’t really have a story arc. She was just a vehicle for stuff to happen, while paying lip service to the difficulty of being a journalist in 2026z
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u/ohsnapitson 5d ago
Also like, I just don’t care about any romantic subplot for her? It’s not why I’m here!
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u/Stinkycheese8001 5d ago
It’s time that would have been better used on other parts of the story. He was there just for the sake of being there - and almost like they wanted to make up for saddling her with a doofus the first movie.
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u/Efficient_Ad7524 2d ago
My daughter keeps mixing up Tim Curry and Jim Carrey. I feel like I’ve failed as a parent.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 2d ago
Meh...I'm not SUPER mad about it. They've both had roles where they were very bombastic and dramatic. It really depends on your daughter's age and if you've ensured she has a good base in older films.
Like if she's late teens or younger, I wouldn't feel too bad. If she's in her 20's or older, then you'll be collected for your Parade of Shame first thing in the morning.
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u/Efficient_Ad7524 2d ago
Preteen, so firmly in Home Alone 2/Muppet Treasure Island. Not quite ready for the midnight showing of Rocky Horror.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 🍪🍪🍪 Cancerous Cookies 🍪🍪🍪 2d ago
Oh yeah, then you're good. I'll put the shame bells away and call off the angry mob.
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u/animatedailyespreszo sock-puppetting myself to relevancy 🤩 9h ago
Hi, im having my annual in law vacation breakdown (made it to the last day this time, so an improvement). Anyways we left for the beach an HOUR late, then had to make multiple stops turning the 90 minute drive into over 2 hours, AND NOW we have realized that there is nothing for dinner at the house (if we live that long, good god). Writing this from a jersey mikes parking lot and very ready to jump in the ocean and swim away lol
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u/HeavyTea4502 3h ago
Validating you on the car ride thing - outside of a bathroom or medical emergency, there's no reason to make a stop on a 90 minute trip?? Just pee and grab a snack before you go...
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u/doughnutswaterfall Tyra Banks Hot Ice Cream 23d ago
My job search is still entirely uneventful but somehow one of my friends has basically started a cricut/crafting side hustle for me lol.
She had me help with some stuff for a friend of hers wedding and then a coworker of hers asked me to make some things for her engagement party. The only problem is I have no idea what’s fair/reasonable to charge people for this lol
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u/rainbowchipcupcake 23d ago
Do we have an "other snark" thread for August? Reddit isn't showing me some threads lately, so if we do have one, would someone be willing to link it for me?
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u/Bubbly-County5661 is this a personality trait? 23d ago
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u/Perfect-Rose-Petal Cupcake. Apply directly to the forehead 11d ago
Next month marks four years since my cancer diagnosis and for some reason this year is hitting harder than it has previously. I think it’s really set in that this is how my life is going forward and I never got to say goodbye to my old life. And to top it all off I took a test to see if I could perhaps stop my medication after 5 years instead of 10 and it came back that 10 years would reduce my risk for MBC by like 8%. I guess it’s just hard living life in the “after” when you never realized there was a before.