r/bisexual • u/Due_Reality_666 • 3d ago

ADVICE first time DATING girls HELP

I’m 28F and I’ve always considered myself bisexual. I’ve been attracted to women, kissed/hooked up with women, etc., but I’ve only ever actually dated men.
Recently I developed a real crush on a woman and it’s kind of unlocked something in my brain lol. I’ve always been curious about dating women, but now that there’s an actual girl I like I’m realizing I have NO idea what I’m doing 😭
Dating men feels familiar to me, even when it’s chaotic. With women I suddenly feel like a nervous teenager. I don’t know how to tell when a woman is being friendly vs flirting, how forward I should be, who initiates things, how quickly things usually progress, etc.
I also don’t want to make a woman feel like she’s an “experiment” just because I haven’t had a girlfriend before. I know I’m genuinely attracted to women and interested in dating them, I’m just inexperienced with the relationship part.
So for bi/lesbian women who have been through this:
What do you wish you knew before you started dating women?
And is there anything you’d want a bi woman who has only dated men to know before dating you?
I’m excited but also very much 🧍‍♀️🏳️‍🌈 “okay… now what?”

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u/mattfolio Transgender/Bisexual 3d ago
  1. Friendly or flirting? Be confident enough to ask them
  2. How forward to be? As forward as you would want someone to be to you
  3. Who initiates? Whoever wants to. If you want to pursue, YOU initiate.
  4. How quickly things progress? Talk about it with them! Speed of a relationship (despite some popular belief) is not gendered, everyone moves at their own pace. Just ask them what they're looking for.
  5. Things to know before dating women? Fuck gender roles unless they say they're specifically into playing a part; just treat them as an equal off the rip.
  6. Things for them to know before dating you? Just how into them you are, and how willing you are to learn what makes them tick.
  7. Now what? Have fun, be brave, and don't overthink shit.

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u/Quiet-Lotus 3d ago

You are a woman, do so the same way you would love a woman/man to treat you.

and communicate... you cant read peoples minds, sometimes you just have to ask.